Jason Vest is a veteran, stand-up comedian, and the man behind Hard Ons for Heroes — a project that started as a comedy video and somehow grew into a legitimate initiative to get care packages and OnlyFans access to deployed troops. Maddie Mae and her 58-year-old former lawyer mother are involved. I'll let him explain. We walked Austin and covered a lot of ground — the 48-hour comedy content shoot in Las Vegas with a porn star, getting permanently banned from Lifetime Fitness over a TikTok, the Barton Springs sugar incident, doing stand-up at a swingers party while a woman rode a Sybian in the background, childhood trauma from a small town in Michigan, and what it actually takes to make it as a headlining comedian without doing material about dentist appointments. He's got a custom rifle coming in two weeks, upcoming dates with Dave Landau and Charlie Mack from Kill Tony, and a movie on Amazon called Sangreen Teeth and a Driftless Road. He played a burner. Charlie played a vampire. We're all gonna be okay.