Paper Napkin Wisdom - Podcast for Entrepreneurs and Leaders

There's a particular kind of wisdom that doesn't shout. It doesn't posture. It doesn't try to win the room. It shows up quietly, often after experience has taken its toll, and says: this way works better. That's the kind of wisdom David Miller brought to this conversation. On his paper napkin, David wrote a deceptively simple line: "Turn the other cheek, smile :) and mean it!" At first glance, it sounds like something we've all heard before — maybe even dismissed. Too soft. Too passive. Too idealistic for the real world of business, leadership, and pressure. But as David's story unfolded, it became clear: this isn't about avoidance or weakness. It's about mastery. Emotional mastery. Leadership mastery. The discipline to respond instead of react. And that distinction matters more than ever. Where This Wisdom Comes From David's perspective isn't theoretical. It's shaped by a life of movement, risk, intensity, and responsibility — from aviation and air sports to entrepreneurship and leadership. He's spent years in environments where reactions are costly, composure is essential, and ego can get you hurt. Throughout the conversation, David keeps returning to one idea: how you respond when things don't go your way defines who you are — and how far you can go. Turning the other cheek, in his framing, isn't about letting people walk all over you. It's about refusing to let someone else's behavior hijack your internal state. Smiling — and meaning it — isn't performative. It's intentional. It's a signal to yourself first: I'm choosing how this moment affects me. The Cost of Reaction One of the undercurrents of this episode is how often leaders sabotage themselves not through bad strategy, but through unmanaged emotion. A sharp comment. A perceived slight. A deal that doesn't go as planned. A team member who disappoints. The instinctive response is to defend, correct, push back, or assert control. David's lived experience suggests something different: Every reactive moment taxes your energy, clarity, and credibility. Reaction feels powerful in the moment. But it's expensive over time. Turning the other cheek creates space. Space to see the bigger picture. Space to keep relationships intact. Space to remain aligned with who you want to be — not just what you want to win. Smiling — And Meaning It This is the hardest part of the napkin. Anyone can fake composure. Anyone can suppress frustration for a meeting or two. But David is talking about something deeper: genuine internal alignment. Smiling and meaning it requires you to let go of the need to be right. To let go of the need to score points. To let go of the story that says, "They shouldn't have done that." Instead, you choose a different internal posture: Curiosity over judgment Calm over control Long-term trust over short-term dominance That doesn't mean you don't address issues. It means you address them from a grounded place, not a triggered one. Leadership Isn't Loud A quiet theme running through this episode is that true leadership rarely looks dramatic. It looks like restraint. It looks like patience. It looks like someone who doesn't need to prove anything. David's napkin challenges a common leadership myth — that strength requires confrontation, force, or constant assertion. In reality, the leaders people trust most are the ones who are hardest to knock off center. Turning the other cheek isn't retreat. It's choosing not to escalate. And over time, that choice compounds. Five Key Takeaways from the Conversation 1. Emotional Control Is a Leadership Skill Your ability to regulate your response under pressure directly impacts trust, culture, and outcomes. Take Action: Notice your first reaction this week — and pause before acting on it. Choose your response deliberately. 2. Not Every Moment Requires a Counterpunch Just because you can respond doesn't mean you should. Take Action: Identify one recurring situation where you habitually push back. Experiment with restraint instead. 3. Strength Can Be Quiet Composure often communicates more authority than confrontation. Take Action: In your next tense interaction, focus on tone and presence rather than winning the point. 4. Internal Alignment Matters More Than External Optics Smiling only works if it's genuine. Otherwise, the cost gets paid internally. Take Action: Ask yourself: What am I holding onto that's preventing me from actually letting this go? 5. Long-Term Respect Beats Short-Term Satisfaction Turning the other cheek preserves relationships and momentum over time. Take Action: Make one decision this week based on long-term trust instead of immediate gratification. A Final Thought The napkin doesn't say avoid conflict. It doesn't say be passive. It says something far more demanding: Choose who you are — especially when it's hard. Turning the other cheek is a discipline. Smiling and meaning it is a practice. And together, they form a leadership posture that doesn't just get results — it earns respect.

There are seasons where doing the work feels strangely unrewarding. You're showing up. You're staying consistent. You're doing what you said you would do. And yet — nothing obvious is happening. No external validation. No visible breakthrough. No clear sign that you're "on track." That's usually when doubt starts whispering questions we don't want to answer: Is this actually working? Am I wasting time? Shouldn't I be further along by now? This Edge of the Napkin episode is about that exact season — the one where growth is real, but hidden. The phase where progress exists, just not where you're looking for it. Because one of the hardest leadership lessons — in life and in business — is this: Seeds grow in the soil, not in the spotlight. The Cost of Misreading Silence We live in a world that celebrates what's visible. If something can be measured, shared, or announced, we trust it. If it can't, we question it. But growth doesn't care about appearances. Growth cares about conditions. And when you don't understand how growth actually works, you don't just slow yourself down — you often sabotage the very thing you're trying to build. Most people don't quit because they lack discipline or intelligence. They quit because they misinterpret silence as failure. A Parable of Two Farmers Imagine two farmers working identical land with identical seeds. The first farmer prepares the soil carefully. He removes obvious rocks, plants the seeds, waters the field — and then waits. Not passively, but patiently. He understands the process. The second farmer does the same thing at first. But after a few days, he grows restless. Nothing is visible. So he digs. "Just checking," he tells himself. He covers the seed back up. Waits a little longer. Digs again. Adjusts the seed. Adds water. Worries he's added too much. Keeps checking. One farmer looks inactive. The other looks busy. Only one of them will harvest anything. Why? Because every time the impatient farmer digs, he destroys the fragile roots forming underground — the very roots that make growth possible. Growth requires stability before it earns visibility. Seeds Don't Grow in Clean Places Seeds don't grow in sterile environments. They grow in dirt. And dirt isn't punishment. It's nourishment. Pressure. Moisture. Time. Stillness. Ironically, these are the exact conditions most of us try to escape. We want reassurance before commitment. Proof before patience. But seeds don't get reassurance. They get buried. And here's the part most people overlook: soil grows weeds too. When Waiting Turns Into Planting the Wrong Things Many of us say we're waiting — but what we're really doing is planting. We plant doubt: Maybe this isn't working. We plant fear: What if this fails? We plant comparison: They're so much further ahead than I am. Weeds grow faster than seeds. Left unchecked, they steal oxygen from the soil and weaken what's trying to grow. Later, when progress struggles to surface, we blame the seed — not the environment we allowed to form. We quit right when the roots are taking hold. The Invisible Phase Is Where Growth Is Decided Most real progress doesn't feel like progress. It feels like: effort without feedback repetition without reward discipline without dopamine And that's why so many people abandon good ideas, meaningful businesses, and strong leadership paths — not at the beginning, and not at the end, but right in the middle. Right when the roots are forming. The Seed Must Crack to Become What It's Meant to Be Here's the deeper truth most people never consider: A seed doesn't become a better seed. It becomes something else entirely. Before anything can grow above the surface, the seed must crack. Split. Break apart. In every meaningful sense, the seed is destroyed. The shell that once protected it would suffocate it later. And this is where growth gets uncomfortable for us. We want expansion without loss. Success without surrender. Becoming without breaking. But growth doesn't negotiate. Some versions of you must end so that something stronger can emerge. Looking for Progress in the Wrong Places Another trap we fall into is looking for progress where we expect to find it. More revenue. More confidence. More clarity. But often progress shows up sideways — in calmer reactions, stronger boundaries, better questions, or fewer emotional decisions. Because that progress isn't flashy, we dismiss it. Meanwhile, everything is reorganizing beneath the surface. The Bamboo Lesson Bamboo is famous for a reason. For up to five years, nothing visible happens. No shoots. No stalks. No proof. But underground, an enormous root system is forming. Then suddenly, bamboo can grow several feet in a single day. Not because it rushed — but because it was ready. Bamboo bends without breaking. It survives storms. It lasts. That kind of strength can't be rushed. What This Looks Like in Business and Leadership In business, this shows up when founders pivot too early. They're learning, refining, building trust — but abandon the work before momentum compounds. In leadership, it shows up as hovering instead of trusting. Interrupting culture instead of letting it form. Digging instead of stabilizing the soil. Strong businesses and strong teams aren't built in visible moments. They're built quietly, long before results show up. How to Support Real Growth Real growth requires restraint. Less digging. Fewer fear-based decisions. More consistency. It means pulling weeds early — naming doubt, challenging fear, and refusing to rehearse failure. It means watering the soil with small, boring fundamentals done well over time. And it means giving growth intentional time, not infinite time. Final Thought Seeds don't grow because they're watched. They grow because the soil is right. So ask yourself: Where are you digging too often? What weeds are you letting grow? And what might already be forming — quietly — beneath the surface? You don't need proof. You need patience. The soil is working. Even now. 5 Key Takeaways Silence doesn't mean failure — it often means roots are forming. Take Action: Commit to staying with one meaningful effort one season longer than feels comfortable. Growth begins underground before it becomes visible. Take Action: Identify one habit you'll continue even without feedback or validation. Doubt and fear are weeds that must be removed early. Take Action: Write down the doubts you're rehearsing — then question their truth. The seed must crack to become something greater. Take Action: Name one outdated identity, role, or habit you may need to release. Strong growth is patient growth. Take Action: Shift your focus from results to tending the soil consistently. ✍️ Your Turn What are you growing right now — quietly, beneath the surface? Write it down on a napkin. Protect it. And when you're ready, share it using #PaperNapkinWisdom.

There's a moment in every entrepreneur's journey when the hustle stops feeling heroic and starts feeling heavy. For Sailynn Doyle — business systems strategist, former home-care franchise owner, and founder of Passion • Purpose • Posture — that moment came sitting alone in her car at 9 AM on a Tuesday, exhausted and crying before another 12-hour day. From the outside, she was a success story: a million-dollar business by year three. On the inside, she was drowning in the weight of the work. Endless demands. Constant interruptions. Team members who depended on her for every answer. Growth that created more chaos instead of more freedom. But all of that began to change the day she uncovered a truth hiding in plain sight — a truth she captured on her Paper Napkin: "Your revenue is hiding in plain sight. Stop chasing everyone — go all-in on the 80% that actually matter." — Sailynn Doyle It wasn't just a clever saying. It was the key that transformed her business, her team, her time, and ultimately, her life. The Lesson That Changed Everything In 2012, during a quarterly planning meeting with two neighboring franchise owners, Sailynn and her partner Steven pulled up their referral database — a thousand potential sources. Up to that point, their salesperson was visiting everyone equally, spreading effort thin and hoping volume would carry the day. But when they finally examined the data, everything clicked. "When we dug into that information, there in plain sight that I did not realize for five years was that 80% of my revenue came from 20% of that list." This wasn't a small revelation — it was a seismic one. Thousands of hours had been spent courting people who were never going to make an impact. The system wasn't broken — their focus was. And like many entrepreneurs, Sailynn had equated activity with progress. So they made the bold decision: Stop chasing everyone. Start going deeper with the people who already mattered. She remembers the moment vividly: "We both looked at each other like deer in the headlights, like… I hope this works." It did. Quickly. By pouring their time into the top 200 referral sources — understanding their pain points, building real relationships, showing up consistently — the entire business shifted. Revenue accelerated. Referrals increased. Their salesperson stopped "running around like a chicken with her head cut off" and started making meaningful traction. But the real win? Sailynn got her life back. As she implemented systems, structured her team intentionally, and streamlined the business around what actually mattered, she eventually stepped away for 30 consecutive days — and the company ran without her. A milestone many entrepreneurs dream about but rarely reach. And she did it without burning out, scaling chaos, or losing herself. Because underneath the business strategy was a deeper truth Sailynn had learned through years working with seniors at the end of their lives: "No one ever said to me, 'I wish I had worked more.' They talked about regret. They wished they had better relationships. More presence. More time." This became her mission: Helping women entrepreneurs build businesses that support their lives instead of consuming them. Her napkin isn't just about revenue. It's about clarity, boundaries, intentionality, and reclaiming the life your business was supposed to give you. Here are the five core ideas from her conversation — and how leaders can put them into action today. Five Key Takeaways (with Take Action Items) 1. Surface-Level Success Is a Trap So many entrepreneurs build impressive numbers… and miserable lives behind them. Sailynn looked successful on paper but was the bottleneck everywhere. Systems aren't systems if they break the second you stop touching them. Take Action: Choose one system you've "checked the box" on — onboarding, scheduling, sales follow-up — and strengthen it to the point where someone else can run it without you. 2. The 80/20 Rule Is Sitting in Your Data Your most valuable opportunities aren't new — they're already in your business. For Sailynn, the top 20% of referral partners drove 80% of revenue. When she stopped spreading her team thin and started going deep, everything improved. Take Action: Pull one year of customer, client, or referral data. Identify the top 20% driving the majority of results. Build a nurturing plan exclusively for them for the next 30 days. 3. If People Come to You for Every Answer, You're the Problem Sailynn calls this being a "teller." When the entrepreneur answers every question, the team learns to stop thinking. True scale requires empowerment. "If you're constantly being asked for answers, you have created a culture of dependency." Take Action: When someone brings you a question this week, respond with: "Where could you find that?" Point them to the system. Do it consistently for 30 days. 4. Training Must Match the Way People Actually Learn Most entrepreneurs train people the way they learn — fast, verbal, minimal detail. But real empowerment requires layered training: visual, written, hands-on. Take Action: For your next training, create: A video walkthrough A step-by-step written guide One hands-on practice session Ask the trainee which one helped them most. 5. Your "Why" Determines Your Burnout or Your Breakthrough When Sailynn finally got clear about the life she wanted — relationships, health, presence — she realized her business needed to serve that vision, not sabotage it. Take Action: Write out your ideal day in detail. Not someday — today, if everything were aligned. Use this as the filter for every business decision you make in the next month. Conclusion: What's Hiding in Plain Sight for You? Sailynn's wisdom reminds us of a truth many entrepreneurs resist: Sometimes the biggest growth isn't found in doing more — it's found in noticing what's already working and doing it with intention. Her story is a testament to clarity over chaos, depth over breadth, and purpose over busyness. So here's the question she leaves us with: What revenue — what opportunity, what freedom — is already hiding in plain sight in your business? Write it down. Share it on a napkin. Use the hashtag #PaperNapkinWisdom so others can learn from your insight. Every big transformation starts with the courage to look at what's right in front of you. Guest Links (URLs, not hyperlinks) Website: https://www.passionpurposeposture.com/sailynn LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sailynndoyle/

There's a moment in every leader's life when they look around the "room" they're in — not the physical room, but the emotional one, the psychological one, the internal one — and ask: "How much of who I am today was shaped by the right voices… and how much by the wrong ones?" For years, Govindh Jayaraman — founder of Paper Napkin Wisdom — sat in rooms filled with people who called themselves friends, collaborators, supporters. And many of them were exactly that. They challenged ideas. They sharpened thinking. They asked questions that helped build the early architecture of Govindh's life work. But others? They shared something else entirely. Not truth. Not clarity. Not genuine care. But doubt. Subtle doubt. Delivered with a smile. "You're not as strong as you think." "You're not that good of a leader." "You're not who you think you are." The words didn't critique the work — they critiqued the identity behind the work. And the most painful part? Govindh believed them. This blog explores the powerful insight behind his latest Edge of the Napkin episode — an insight about identity, doubt, proving yourself, and the freedom available the moment you finally set down the emotional backpack you never needed to carry in the first place. When Truth Helps You Grow — And When Doubt Makes You Small There's a difference between a friend who looks at something you're building and says: "It's not ready yet — but I see what you're doing, let's make it stronger," and a person who says: "You're not who you think you are." One speaks to the work. The other speaks to your worth. One helps you grow. The other keeps you small. And the tricky thing? Both voices can sit in the same room. Both voices can sound like support. Both voices can feel justified. But inside you, they do completely different things. Truth sharpens. Doubt shrinks. And when you're not paying attention, you can start shaping your entire identity in reaction to someone else's insecurity. The Era of Proving When Govindh believed the wrong voices, he didn't argue. He didn't push back. He didn't reject the claims. Instead, he decided to prove them wrong. He dug deeper. He ran faster. He hustled harder. He climbed a mountain he didn't choose. On the surface, it looked like resilience. Internally, it was something else entirely: A life built on someone else's narrative. Because whether you're surrendering to a limiting belief or rebelling against it, you're still letting that belief steer the wheel. Proving is not leadership. Proving is not purpose. Proving is not becoming. Proving is bondage. And this is where the episode introduces a story — a parable — that reframes everything. The Parable of the Heavy Stone A young man once asked a monk: "Master, why is my life so heavy?" The monk told him: "Show me what you're carrying." The young man insisted he was carrying nothing. The monk pointed to his chest: "You are carrying the belief that you're not enough. And the proving? That is the strap you use to keep the stone with you." He placed a small stone in the young man's hand and told him to hold it. At first, it felt light. Then tolerable. Then uncomfortable. Then unbearable. When the monk finally told him to put it down, the relief washed over him instantly. The monk said: "The stone never owned you. You were always free to let it go." This is the heart of the episode: The weight you feel isn't the doubt. It's your decision to keep carrying it. The Backpack on the Ground Govindh's napkin sketch for this episode is beautifully simple: A stick figure standing tall. A backpack on the ground. Space between them. The message? You are allowed to put down the weight that was never yours. There is nothing to prove. There is everything to be. When you stop performing for an audience that never had your best interests at heart… When you stop reacting to voices that never deserved authority… When you curate your internal room with intention… You reclaim the ability to hear yourself again. And that is the beginning of becoming. 5 KEY TAKEAWAYS + TAKE ACTION (For Entrepreneurs & Leaders) 1. Curate Your Room Not every voice deserves a seat at the table of your identity. Take Action: List three people whose feedback sharpens you — and three whose doubt drains you. Adjust access accordingly. 2. Know the Difference Between Truth and Doubt Constructive truth improves the work. Doubt attacks the identity. Take Action: Before accepting feedback, ask: "Is this about the work… or about me?" 3. Stop Proving. Start Being. You can't build a life while fighting someone else's narrative of you. Take Action: Identify one area where you feel the need to prove something. This week, practice releasing the expectation — and observe what opens. 4. Put Down the Stone The weight is not the critique. It's the belief that you must carry it. Take Action: Write down one belief that no longer serves you. Fold the paper. Throw it out. Symbolism matters. 5. Leadership Begins With Identity Your growth accelerates the moment you stop trying to be someone else's version of you. Take Action: Ask yourself each morning this week: "Who am I choosing to be today, for me?" YOUR TURN — WRITE IT ON A NAPKIN Now it's your move. ✏️ Grab a napkin. Write your version of this truth. Maybe it's: "I choose being over proving." or "I set it down." or "The stone was never mine." Then share it with me — and with the world — using #PaperNapkinWisdom. Because the moment you can articulate your wisdom simply… you can begin to live it deeply.

Some stories begin with a business plan. Others begin with a feeling — a deep, lived truth that travel isn't just about going somewhere, but about finally being somewhere without fear. That's the story behind Toto Tours. When founder Dan Ware launched the company in 1990, LGBTQ+ travelers faced a world far less welcoming than it is today. Travel was often an act of courage. Safety wasn't guaranteed. Connection wasn't a given. And yet Dan believed something radical: that the world belonged to everyone, and that queer people deserved to explore it without shrinking, hiding, or apologizing. That early mission — to create safe, joyful, life-changing journeys — set the foundation for one of the longest-running LGBTQ+ tour companies in the world. Today, that legacy is being carried forward by Dan Perry and Michael Serapiglia, two leaders who bring heart, artistry, and intentional strategy to the next era of Toto Tours. Michael's background alone is a reminder that great careers rarely follow straight lines. A Broadway dancer in productions like Annie Get Your Gun and Aida, an Emmy®-nominated makeup artist, and a lifelong student of people and culture, Michael brings a performer's attention to detail and a creative's sense of wonder to everything he touches. That energy is written all over Toto's new vision — a company designed not just to take people places, but to orchestrate experiences. Dan, meanwhile, is rooted, thoughtful, and anchored in the operational heartbeat of the business. As co-owner and steward of the brand's legacy, his leadership ensures that the company's emotional mission is matched with real-world execution: logistics handled with precision, safety prioritized above all else, and every traveler supported as a deeply valued guest. Together, they are scaling Toto Tours for the next generation — bringing structure to creativity, growth to mission, and clarity to chaos. That blend shows up beautifully in their napkin: "Remember… if you get lost, enjoy the view around you." It's playful. Light. But also quietly profound. Because travel does involve getting lost. Entrepreneurship definitely involves getting lost. And navigating identity, belonging, and community? That's a lifelong journey with no perfect map. What makes Toto Tours powerful — and what makes Dan and Michael's leadership so compelling — is how they embrace that "lostness" with intention. They've built a business around creating psychological safety in unfamiliar places. They design tours where vulnerability isn't a risk, but a pathway to connection. And they do it in a way that proves something important: When your business is built on empathy and authenticity, growth becomes a natural outcome — not the goal. In our conversation, they talked about inheriting a business that has meant something real to thousands of travelers. They shared the challenges of honoring a 35-year legacy while modernizing every aspect of the customer experience. They spoke openly about the responsibility that comes with being stewards of a community, not just operators of a company. And what stood out most was this: Their success is rooted in the courage to stay human in an industry that often forgets to be. Their stories ranged from navigating international travel logistics to deeply personal moments on tour — when someone feels seen for the first time, or finally gets to show up as their full self after years of holding back. This is not a commodity business. This is not "selling vacations." This is transformational work disguised as travel. And Dan and Michael are the right leaders at the right moment — blending heart, craft, psychological safety, and strategic growth in a way that honors the past while confidently shaping the future. 5 Key Takeaways (with Take Action steps) 1. Empathy is a business strategy, not a soft skill. Toto Tours was built on understanding the emotional experience of the traveler. That core value is still their competitive advantage. Take Action: Identify one customer anxiety or emotional need you haven't been addressing — and build a process or moment that solves it. 2. Legacy is something you steward, not something you own. Dan and Michael inherited a 35-year mission. Their role is not to change the soul of the company, but to carry it forward. Take Action: If you lead a team or a business, ask: What part of our legacy must remain untouched? What part needs to evolve right now? 3. Safety creates the conditions for joy. Their tours work because people feel safe — emotionally, physically, and socially. Safety unlocks curiosity and connection. Take Action: Audit how your team experiences psychological safety. Identify one area where people still "armor up." 4. Creativity and structure don't compete — they complete each other. Michael brings artistry. Dan brings operational consistency. Together, they create magic. Take Action: Look at your own leadership style. What's your opposite energy — and who could you partner with to balance your approach? 5. Getting lost is part of the journey — but meaning comes from how you respond. Their napkin says it best: if you're lost, enjoy the view. Trust the moment you're in. Take Action: Ask yourself: Where do I feel lost right now? Instead of fixing it, what can I appreciate about this moment? About the Guests Dan Perry & Michael Serapiglia – Co-Owners, Toto Tours Toto Tours began in 1990 when founder Dan Ware envisioned safe, joyful global travel for LGBTQ+ explorers. The company has grown into a trusted international leader rooted in community, inclusion, and curiosity. Today, Dan Perry and Broadway-performer-turned-Emmy-nominated-makeup-artist Michael Serapiglia carry the torch, expanding Toto's impact while honoring its spirit. Their work blends purpose, creativity, and operational excellence — proving that meaningful business growth begins with humanity. Links website: www.tototours.com