Become Good Soil

“The main thing God gets out of your life is not the achievements you accomplish. It is the person you become. Spiritual transformation is not about behavior modification; it is about allowing the life of Jesus to permeate our whole being. This is a process that is slow, steady, and deeply relational. We become the kind of people who can naturally and easily do what Jesus would do, because His life has formed our life from the inside out.” — Dallas Willard

Friends,

We’d love for you to join us for the final episode in this three-part series. In this conversation, we take a hopeful look at what the Styles of Relating can become as we grow in maturity—as fear and shame loosen their grip, and as trust, courage, and love begin to shape our reactions more than our old habits do.

Our hope is that you’ll find encouragement for your own relationships and a renewed sense that change, even slow change, is possible.

We’re grateful to walk this road with you—toward deeper wholeness, steadier love, and a growing belonging in God’s Kingdom and Family.

“We are born out of the laughter of the Trinity." 

— Meister Eckhart (1260-1328),  Medieval Mystic

Dear Friends,

Around 2011, we discovered the work of Karen Horney and her insight into how humans relate to one another, especially under stress, in uncertainty, or for the sake of self-protection.

Her work on the styles of relating became catalytic for both of us. It gave language to dynamics we were feeling but didn’t yet understand — why, despite our love for one another, we so often felt hurt, alone, or misunderstood. We were desperate for clarity, longing to discover what was not working, and what needed to change within us and between us to grow the kind of marriage we both believed was possible.

In 2014, we recorded a live conversation exploring how our styles of relating had been colliding — and sometimes colluding — since before we were married. That conversation became Episode 9 of the Become Good Soil podcast, marking an early milestone in our journey toward healing and deeper connection.

Now, we invite you to join us again as we revisit this territory. This is the first episode in a three-part series reflecting afresh on the Styles of Relating — a return to what these styles are, an exploration of how they may be showing up in our relationships, and an honest look at what it could mean to employ them in the service of Love instead of fear.

We’re honored to walk this path with you.

For the Kingdom,

Cherie & Morgan

P.S. If you haven’t explored our first two podcasts and the blog on Styles of Relating recently, we would encourage you to check out the following soul-nourishing resources as well:

“There are some things that only time can do. Dynamite can't touch them.”

– Dwight D. Eisenhower

In The Scandals of the Kingdom, Dallas Willard names a profound tension between the person of Jesus and the dilemma of modern American Christianity. We spend vast sums of money and energy trying to get people into church. Meanwhile, in the Gospels, people tore the roofs off buildings just to get to Jesus. So much so, He often withdrew from the crowds—not to perform, but to be with His Father and to invest in a few trusted apprentices.

Jesus was the most consecrated King who ever lived. And yet, while we strive to build platforms and leverage influence, He chose obscurity and intimacy and consented to the slow and steady work of His Father in the lives entrusted to his care.

So we must ask ourselves: Why do we find Him hiding from crowds in places where we keep striving to be seen?

If we are willing to be honest with both this longing to be seen and the desire to see immediate results for the fruit of our labors, we can access a precious part of us that becomes a fresh doorway to return home to the heart of God.

This episode concludes a deeper cut series—an excavation of the foundational ideas unearthed through Becoming a King. At its core, we’ve been exploring a central, piercing question: How do we become the kind of men to whom God can entrust His power?

Let me remind you—this path was never promised to be easy. But I can assure you: it is profoundly worth it.