Most relationships start with “I love you, you’re perfect”… and quickly turn into wanting your partner to change. The real problem isn’t usually whether they want to change—it’s that change is rarely A→B; it’s a process that requires understanding barriers, reducing shame, and building support. When couples shift from criticism to curiosity and create small, doable systems together, motivation increases and change becomes sustainable. Talking points “Now change” cycle Wanting vs doing Shame kills change Barriers before solutions 1% systems Practice + support Give Me Discounts!  Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices