ADHD reWired

In this episode, Eric sits down with Alyece Smith, business coach, TEDx speaker, autism advocate, and founder of Socially Ausome, for a candid conversation about ADHD, masking, burnout, boundaries, and what it really takes to build systems that fit your brain. Alyece shares how her son's autism diagnosis changed the way she understood neurodivergence, her own ADHD, and the cost of trying to operate like everyone else. After leaving corporate to prioritize her son's care, she built a successful business quickly, but found herself overdelivering, people-pleasing, working late into the night, and burning out despite outward success. Together, Eric and Alyece explore why "inconsistency" is often misunderstood, especially for ADHDers. They talk about under-stimulation, energy management, spark times, decision fatigue, boundaries, and why sustainable follow-through usually requires better support, not more shame. Alyece also introduces her F.L.O.W. First Thinking framework: Find your spark times, Link boring tasks with stimulation, Organize your overflow, and Work your week around your peaks. This conversation is practical, validating, and useful for anyone who has ever felt scattered, overextended, or exhausted from trying to work against their own brain. Summary In this episode, Eric sits down with Alyece Smith — business coach, TEDx speaker, autism mom, and founder of Socially Ausome — for a candid conversation about what it really looks like to build a business with an ADHD brain. Alyece shares how her son's autism diagnosis cracked open her own understanding of neurodivergency, eventually leading her to leave corporate, launch a six-figure business, burn out spectacularly, and rebuild everything on her own terms. She introduces her F.L.O.W. First Thinking framework, breaks down why consistency advice fails ADHDers, and explains why energy management — not time management — is the real key to sustainable success. This one is raw, practical, and deeply validating for any entrepreneur who has ever felt scattered, burnt out, or like they're just not built for the traditional business model. Key Takeaways You're not scattered — you're bored. ADHD brains are chronically under-stimulated. What looks like inconsistency is really a dopamine regulation issue. Energy management beats time management. Work during your brain's natural peak times (your chronotype) — not just whenever the calendar says to. Boundaries are a business strategy. Burnout wasn't from working hard — it was from having no limits with clients or herself. "That's not in our contract, but I'm happy to invoice you" was a turning point. Masking is exhausting and expensive. Pretending to be neurotypical burns energy that could fuel your actual work. Coming out publicly as ADHD was terrifying — and completely freeing. The 48-hour rule for pivots. Before burning something down, sit with it 48 hours. Still fired up? Probably a real signal. Not? Likely boredom or fear. Systems aren't one-size-fits-all. The right system is one built around how your specific brain works — not how productivity gurus say it should. Brain dump daily. A five-minute voice memo clears mental clutter and can be run through AI tools to generate action lists. Passion is your compass. Hyperfocus kicks in hardest around genuine passion. Can't stop thinking about it? That's your signal. Women with ADHD are chronically misdiagnosed. Internalizing symptoms leads to anxiety and depression, and many women aren't diagnosed until perimenopause amplifies everything. Timestamps 0:00 — Introduction & Alyece's background 0:47 — Her son's autism diagnosis and the research rabbit hole that changed everything 3:17 — Leaving corporate in 2022 to prioritize her son's healthcare 3:56 — Going straight into entrepreneurship — and immediately masking all over again 4:16 — Hitting six figures in six months, then hitting a wall 4:35 — Working until 2–3am and the unrealistic client expectations that drove it 5:15 — People-pleasing, poor boundaries, and faking having an assistant 7:14 — What it means to deliver excellence when you're miserable doing it 8:27 — The breaking point: her husband calls her out 9:20 — Becoming a "brick wall of boundaries" and what that sounds like in practice 26:27 — Coming out publicly as ADHD on Facebook — and the flood of "me too" responses 27:47 — Why she now loves being an ADHD keynote speaker 28:20 — Reframing ADHD inconsistency: dopamine, boredom, and under-stimulation 29:37 — The fMRI study: boredom registers as pain in the ADHD brain 30:25 — Why ADHDers start strong and struggle to finish 31:56 — Decision fatigue and the power of a personal uniform 33:04 — Introducing the F.L.O.W. First Thinking framework 36:31 — Applying Flow First in a corporate setting — $300K saved in one quarter 36:54 — The book and what's inside beyond the TEDx talk 37:15 — Where people get the F (Find Your Spark Times) wrong 38:00 — Why changing your schedule feels uncomfortable — and how to push through 39:00 — Harmful advice in the ADHD space: "just be more consistent" 40:29 — How women internalize ADHD symptoms differently — and the misdiagnosis epidemic 41:17 — One small, actionable shift for overwhelmed entrepreneurs 43:14 — The Voice Pen app recommendation 46:21 — Where to find Alyece and get the book The F.L.O.W. Framework: F — Find your spark times (when your brain is most alert and focused) L — Link boring tasks with stimulating ones (temptation bundling) O — Organize your overflow (a "parking lot" system for ideas and distractions) W — Work your week around your peaks (theme your days, not your hours) Resources Mentioned Book: Flow First Thinking by Alyece Smith - Get it on Amazon Website: sociallyausome.com Nonprofit: Caden's Corner / The Awesome Family's Foundation App: Voice Pen — voice memo to AI-generated action list Tool: ManyCam — virtual camera with timer overlay for Zoom calls Connect with Alyece Website: sociallyausome.com Facebook & Instagram: @sociallyausome (Skip the TikTok DMs — she's not in there) ADHD reWired Services Coaching Groups Adult Study Hall 1:1 Therapy & Coaching Additional Resource Mentioned: Neurodivergent + LGBTQ+ Pride Month Panel

This is not a typical ADHD reWired episode. This is a special, time-sensitive episode for listeners who are considering joining the next season of ADHD reWired Coaching & Accountability Groups. If you've been thinking, "I need more structure," "I can't keep doing this alone," or "I know what to do, but I'm struggling to follow through," this episode is for you. In this short announcement episode, Eric explains: Who ADHD reWired Coaching & Accountability Groups are for Why structure works better when it comes with support, repetition, and accountability What makes this group different from a self-paced course or passive learning experience How pre-registration works Why completing pre-registration soon matters if you want to attend one of the final registration events ADHD reWired Coaching & Accountability Groups is an intensive 8-week coaching and accountability program for adults with ADHD. The program includes group coaching three times per week, accountability teams starting in Week 3, daily top-3 priority check-ins, practical systems, peer support, and a whole lot of "Oh thank goodness, it's not just me." Registration is time-sensitive, and pre-registration is required before attending a registration event. Start here: Learn more and begin pre-registration at coachingrewired.com Links Mentioned ADHD reWired Coaching & Accountability Groups https://www.coachingrewired.com Start Pre-Registration https://www.adhdrewired.com/registration3steps/ ADHD reWired Website https://www.adhdrewired.com Adult Study Hall Virtual Coworking Community https://www.adultstudyhall.com Support ADHD reWired on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/adhdrewired

Episode topic: ADHD, sex, desire discrepancy, intimacy, communication, kink, queerness, polyamory, and what happens when libido doesn't match in relationships. Content note: This episode includes candid adult conversation about sex, desire, libido, kink, dating apps, polyamory, and sexual communication. Episode Summary What happens when one partner wants sex more than the other? What if ADHD affects libido in both directions? And what if "just do it" is actually some of the worst advice out there? In this episode, Eric is joined by Laura Jurgens, a dual-certified master relationship and intimacy coach, desire and arousal specialist, and host of The Desire Gap podcast. Laura helps individuals and couples create more authentic sexual connection, including when one or both partners are neurodivergent. Eric and Laura get into a candid, shame-free conversation about ADHD, sex, mismatched libido, desire discrepancies, rejection sensitivity, sensory needs, communication, and why so many people struggle to talk openly about what they actually want. Laura explains why desire differences are incredibly common in long-term relationships, why obligation sex can create resentment and shut down libido, and how ADHD can shape both high and low desire. She also shares how people can begin reconnecting with their bodies, practicing self-attunement, and communicating more clearly with partners. The conversation also explores sex positivity, kink positivity, queer dating, bisexuality, polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and the importance of honest, embodied consent. This episode is frank, playful, personal, and deeply human. In This Episode, You'll Hear About Why desire discrepancy is common in long-term relationships How ADHD can contribute to both high libido and low libido Why "just do it" is terrible advice for mismatched desire The difference between sex for connection and sex for nervous system regulation How obligation sex can lead to resentment, shutdown, pain, or sexual dysfunction Why a partner can start to feel like a "tool" or "medication" when sex becomes self-regulation The role of dopamine, novelty, and hyperfocus in ADHD sexuality Why some ADHDers struggle to get out of their heads and into their bodies How stress, burnout, and nervous system activation can shut down libido Why self-attunement is a key starting point for intimacy How alexithymia can complicate emotional and sexual communication What "sex positive" and "kink positive" can actually mean Why embodied consent matters more than intellectual "I guess this is fine" consent How kink communities can model explicit communication and negotiation The risks of opening a relationship when the relationship is already disconnected Why polyamory requires a high level of trust, communication, and self-awareness Dating while bisexual, queer, neurodivergent, or exploring new relational identities How to disclose needs and patterns without using ADHD as a "get out of jail free" card Why communicating about withdrawal, burnout, and alone time matters in relationships Notable Moments / Quote Pulls "Obligation sex is the worst possible advice." "If you are trying to manage your partner's feelings with your body, that is a one-way ticket to resentment town." "Sex can become the way an ADHDer gets into their body and out of their head." "Your partner starts feeling like a tool or a medication rather than a person you authentically want to connect with." "Compatibility doesn't mean there are no differences. It means there are differences you can navigate." "Do I love the sex I'm having? That's a question a lot of people aren't even asking themselves." "Practice with the kitten to play with the tiger." "Don't yuck on someone else's yum." "You don't have to be evangelically polyamorous." Guest Bio Laura Jurgens is a dual-certified master relationship and intimacy coach and host of The Desire Gap podcast. She is a desire and arousal specialist who helps individuals and couples discover authentic sexual connection, including when one or both partners are neurodivergent. Her approach helps people release shame, shed relationship anxiety, and build confidence through more effective communication. Her work is play-based, practical, inclusive, trauma-informed, and grounded in current research. Laura is a former university professor with a PhD in biological sciences, with certifications from the Somatica Institute, The Life Coach School, and the NeuroAffective Touch Institute. Learn more about Laura at laurajurgens.com and listen to The Desire Gap podcast. Resources & Links Learn more about Laura Jurgens: laurajurgens.com Listen to Laura's podcast: The Desire Gap Learn more about ADHD reWired Coaching & Accountability Groups: coachingrewired.com Learn more about ADHD reWired: adhdrewired.com Join Adult Study Hall, our virtual coworking community: adultstudyhall.com Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/adhdrewired Sponsor / Program Mention Registration is open for the next season of ADHD reWired Coaching & Accountability Groups. This is our intensive coaching and accountability program for ADHD adults who want more structure, support, follow-through, and connection. Learn more and start pre-registration at: coachingrewired.com

In this live Q&A episode, Eric Tivers and ADHD reWired coaches Brian Entler and Kristin Marts answer listener questions about the overlap between ADHD and autism (AuDHD), and how to better understand your brain through both coaching and therapy. They explore how coaching and therapy serve different—but complementary—roles, especially when it comes to turning insight into action. You'll hear practical examples of how to use each space effectively, whether you're job searching, working through burnout, or trying to follow through on what matters. Eric also breaks down the concept of monotropism—a lesser-known but powerful way to understand autistic attention—and how it differs from ADHD hyperfocus. Later in the episode, the conversation turns to late autism diagnosis, self-identification, and the emotional impact of finally understanding yourself through a new lens. Eric shares openly about his own diagnosis and how it's shaped his relationships, self-compassion, and recovery from burnout. They also tackle questions about: Why autism is often diagnosed earlier than ADHD in children How to advocate for your child when concerns are dismissed Auditory processing challenges and sensory sensitivity The growing conversation around self-diagnosis This is a wide-ranging, honest, and deeply validating conversation about what it means to better understand how your brain works—and what to do with that understanding. KEY TAKEAWAYS Coaching helps with execution and follow-through, while therapy focuses on emotional processing Monotropism explains long-term, topic-based focus often seen in autistic individuals Late autism diagnosis can lead to increased self-compassion and clarity Self-diagnosis can be valid when grounded in thoughtful research and reflection Sensory and auditory processing challenges are often context- and stress-dependent Advocacy is essential when concerns about children are dismissed

Pre-registration for the ADHD reWired Coaching Groups is due Thursday. Registration events are happening Thursday and Friday. The next group starts next week. 👉 For exact dates, times, and next steps, go to: https://www.coachingrewired.com This episode includes a short, experimental song made with Suno Ai explaining the coaching groups. If you're listening after the registration window closes, future groups will be announced on the website.