Honestly, Dear Listener

A lot of us didn’t get what we needed as kids, so we adapted—squeezed ourselves into shapes that kept us safe. As adults, our nervous systems still remember those shapes. This episode is about our inner child: the part that wants to play and create, but also freaks out when life feels unsafe.Carrie shares how ACA and parts work (IFS) helped her begin reparenting herself; Emily talks survival mode, productivity, and why singing felt like safety. We get into grief-in-autumn vibes, the self-soothing we never learned, and—because it’s us—a strangely perfect detour into inner ears and earwax: inner child, inner ear—chef’s kiss._____________________________________________________References:ACA - Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families - 12-Step Support & Recovery Group - for anyone who, because of people or circumstances in their childhoods, had to adapt in painful, unhelpful, or unhealthy ways to survive—whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spirituallyIFS - Internal Family Systems - also known as “parts work” - a psychotherapy tool developed by Richard C. Schwartz that views that the mind as a collection of relatively separate subpersonalities or parts, each with its own unique viewpoint and qualities“Ball of Wax” - english idiom meaning “everything” or “all of it”TIMECODES:0:00 - Intro0:49 - Grief3:24 - Inner Child work10:39 - Often, our parents didn’t have enough tools to give us what we needed12:35 - Hiding from healing in the church18:54 - We were trained that if we were okay, we were doing something wrong21:59 - We weren’t taught how to self-soothe24:32 - When the Inner Child calls bullshit/earning back our Inner Child’s trust27:14 - Getting healing for US is the best gift we could give our kids28:48 - Our Inner Child is the seat of our creativity34:39 - Trauma lands hard as a child35:28 - The Earwax Discussion

Carrie tried smoking grass at 14. It's not what you think. It didn't go well.Today, we’re doing something a little different: Carrie is sharing a finished thing—a non-fiction short story she wrote called “The Inside Girl.” It’s about growing up in a bubble, longing to be inside of culture, and the day teenage curiosity met cattail fluff and…fire. It’s a story she needed to write to make sense of her longing to belong._____________________________________________________________Where to find Carrie:Read “The Inside Girl” on SubstackSubstack: carriekingpresents.substack.comInstagram: @carriekingpresentsYouTube: @carriekingpresents

This week on the show, we talk about play and rest and how they’re kind of important parts to our creative practice. We talk about giving our minds a rest and letting our bodies take the wheel by choosing low-stakes experiments (waste the page) to loosen perfectionism. On the rest side, we talk about what it is (choice) and isn’t (doomscrolling).We’re getting a little rebellious with this one—and perhaps even a tad wasteful *gasp*!References:Utah Shakespeare Festival - annual summer/fall theatre festival in Cedar City, UTInto the Woods - 2014 Disney adaptation of the 1986 musical Into the Woods starring Meryl Streep and a bunch of other famous people“Stay with Me” - song from the 2014 Disney adaptation of the 1986 musical Into the Woods written by Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine Heartburn - novel by Nora Ephron, narrated by Meryl StreepTom Lake - novel by Ann Patchett, narrated by Meryl Streep“Aqueous Transmission” - song by Incubus“Get Ur Freak On” - song by Missy ElliottThe Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - novel by Douglas AdamsThe Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron TIMECODES0:00 - Intro2:04 - Get your “frisson”8:15 - Dance as play12:16 - Resistance to play18:13 - When did we stop playing?29:49 - Rest is radical

In this Rewind & Reset episode, we look back at Quarter 3—Carrie stepping into her writing and performance dreams, and Emily navigating grief while still creating music and finding her footing. We talk about what it means to stop playing small, to honor our own timing, and to carry those lessons forward into Quarter 4 with gentleness, courage, and creativity.References:Carrie’s Substack - Read & SUBSCRIBE hereCarrie’s “Girl on the Mountain” Substack post - (It’s actually called “The Audacity of Wanting”)TIMECODES0:00 - Intro2:13 - “Dead dad couture” 3:05 - “Drawers”5:10 - English is an asshole language7:04 - The world’s greatest joke7:54 - Clothing on animals…we die.13:45 - How Carrie’s Q3 goals went19:40 - What’s ahead for Carrie in Q423:19 - Emily’s Q3/Q4 goals

NOTE: This is part 2 of our two-part series talking with Singer/Songwriter Melissa V. Cartwright. If you haven’t already, go back and listen to part 1 and then come back here for part 2.In this follow-up conversation with Melissa V. Cartwright, we continue unpacking the process of spiritual deconstruction—especially how it reshapes the way we create. We talk about what happens when the certainty we once clung to dissolves, and how grief, disorientation, and memory show up in our art. From “cry nights” and purity culture to unexpected dreams and desert metaphors, we explore the tension between old beliefs and creative freedom. Ultimately, we ask: what if not knowing is a perfectly good reason to make something?Melissa’s Bio:Singer, Songwriter, and Bilingual Voice and Performance Coach Melissa V. Cartwright is the founder of MVC Performance and the host of Passionate Performer PODCAST (in fact, Emily was a guest on her show—and we’ve the episode below). With over 25 years of experience in TV, radio, studio work, and musical theatre, she helps artists step on stage with confidence—whether it’s their very first open mic or a headlining show. Where to find Melissa:Website: www.mvcperformance.comInstagram: @mvcperformanceTikTok: @mvcperformancePassionate Performer Podcast: on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTubeReferences:Emily’s episode on the Passionate Performer Podcast, aired 6/25/25“Shiny, Happy People”, Season 2: A Teenage Holy War - TV series on Amazon PrimeFaith after Doubt: What Your Beliefs Stopped Working and What to Do about It - book by Brian D. McLarenTeen Mania Ministries - a now-defunct, Evangelical Christian youth organization spreading the Western evangelical, Christian faith with charismatic youth events (Acquire the Fire) and missions trips (Global Expeditions), founded and spearheaded by Ron Luce - the primary organization highlighted in Season 2 of the Amazon Prime documentary “Shiny, Happy People: A Teenage Holy War”Saved! - 2004 American independent satirical black comedy film directed by Brian Dannelly and starring Mandy MooreFocus on the Family - an American, Evangelical organization founded in 1977 by James Dobson that primarily lobbies against LGBT and pro-choice rightsEasy A - 2010 American teen romantic comedy film directed by Will Gluck and starring Emma Stone and Amanda BynesColumbine High School massacre - school shooting and attempted bombing in Columbine, CO on April 20, 1999 that killed 13 students (including Cassie Bernal) and 1 teacherThe Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron TIMECODES0:00 - Intro1:25 - As evangelicals, how do we enjoy making things now?3:53 - Allowing ourselves to grieve10:40 - Uncertainty and the unknown13:59 - “I don’t know” breeds humility17:17 - “Compassion led me away from the church.”19:46 - What made Carrie start questioning - the Teen Mania missions trip story24:34 - Christians are mean26:56 - Aquire the Fire29:49 - “Cry Night”33:44 - Cry Night - an explanation for those who didn’t grow up weird like we did37:32 - Expendable bodies in an evangelical war machine41:11 - Numbness42:36 - Brain versus body & artists44:05 - Artists need space and freedom to create