Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Do you ever find yourself longing for deeper human connection, yet unsure how to actually make it happen? So many people are trying to overcome loneliness while craving friendships that genuinely support their happiness, well-being, and the desire to grow and heal. In this episode, we explore what strengthens your social wellness - from simple practices that help you reconnect with yourself to meaningful experiences that help you feel happier. My guest today is Julia Hotz, a solutions-focused journalist and award-winning author of The Connection Cure. Julia has spent years studying why loneliness is so widespread, what it does to our bodies and minds, and why meaningful relationships feel harder to build than ever. Today, we discuss social prescribing - an emerging practice where doctors and therapists “prescribe” activities like art classes, forest walks, or book clubs based on what matters to you most. These aren’t hobbies for the sake of hobbies; they’re structured ways of reconnecting with joy, identity, and people who help you feel more like yourself. Julia shares powerful stories, including Glenn, a 92-year-old veteran who went from weeks of silence to a real friendship, and Jonas, who lives with social anxiety and found that culture, music, and stories were his bridge back to connection. We talk about why meaningful relationships aren’t just about companionship but self-expansion, helping you understand who you are through the people you connect with. We also explore the internal obstacles that make it harder to overcome loneliness: time constraints, social anxiety, and the awkwardness many people still feel after years of disrupted connection. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why social connection and strong relationships boost health and happiness 00:40 Introducing Julia Hotz and The Connection Cure 01:11 How the UK’s minister of loneliness sparked social prescribing 06:47 What loneliness really is and how it impacts your brain and body 10:26 Self-expansion: how deep relationships help you know yourself 12:28 Rebuilding community: from Bowling Alone to modern social prescribing 14:21 Glenn and Ryan’s story: loneliness to friendship at age 92 18:05 Social anxiety and culture “vitamins”: easier ways to meet people 23:20 How people connect differently: activities, intimacy, and friendship 26:18 Flipping “What’s wrong with me?” to “What matters to me?” 31:14 Why 20 minutes in nature can reset your mind and attention 38:35 How to “prescribe yourself” connection and build a values-based social life If something in this episode resonates and you’re thinking, “I don’t want to feel this alone anymore,” we would love to support you. At Growing Self, you can schedule a free consultation to get connected with a therapist or coach on my team who truly understands what it takes to overcome loneliness and build meaningful human connection. You’ll be able to chat with someone who can walk alongside you as you strengthen your social wellness, rebuild friendships, and feel happier. Schedule a free consultation today. You are worthy of relationships where you feel seen, chosen, and emotionally safe. You don’t have to figure this out alone. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

If overwhelm has become your constant companion - the thing you wake up with, carry through your day, and fall asleep thinking about - your well-being is trying to tell you something. In this episode, we’re unpacking why happiness can feel so far away when stress keeps running the show, and how you can manage what’s on your plate without sacrificing yourself in the process. If you’re longing to feel happier, love yourself more deeply, and finally declutter the parts of your life that feel too heavy, you are absolutely in the right place! My guest, author and Afro-minimalist Christine Platt (Less Is Liberation: Finding Freedom From a Life of Overwhelm), shares how her “normal” busy life quietly turned into a health crisis, and how she began seeing overwhelm as her body’s way of saying, Hey, one of your wells is empty. We talk about the five foundations of wellness (your “personal wells”), the emotional labor and mental load so many women carry, and how learning to declutter your stuff, your schedule, and your beliefs can help you manage stress more wisely and reconnect with a sense of happiness in your daily life. We also get into the messy real-world pieces: overwhelm by circumstance (divorce, money, kids, career), people-pleasing, the guilt around saying no, and why so many of us overbuy and hang onto clutter “just in case.” As you listen, notice: Which of your wells has been running low? What are you still trying to prove by doing so much? And what would “less” need to look like for your life to feel more like your life again? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Constant Overwhelm and Stress: What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You 03:03 Chronic Overwhelm and Hypertension: When Stress Becomes a Health Crisis 05:51 Five Foundations of Wellness: The “Personal Wells” Framework 09:45 Emotional Labor and Mental Load: Why Women Feel So Overwhelmed 12:30 Minimalism as Liberation: Living With Less to Reduce Overwhelm 16:06 Time Scarcity and Productivity: Limiting Beliefs That Keep You Overwhelmed 18:29 Messengers and Limiting Beliefs: Redefining “Selfish” Self-Care 25:32 Overwhelmed by Circumstance: Divorce, Scarcity, and Minimalism by Necessity 32:26 Psychology of Ownership: Why We Overbuy, Hoard, and Accumulate Clutter 42:51 Inner Work Before Decluttering: Healing People-Pleasing and Attachment to Stuff 48:47 Filling Your Wells: Daily Practices for Sustainable Wellness and Well-Being If you’re living in that constant state of overwhelm, please know you don’t have to sort this out on your own. At Growing Self, you can talk with someone about what’s really happening - the stress, the burnout, the clutter on the outside and the inside - and get matched with a therapist or coach who truly understands what you’re carrying. Schedule a consultation today! You deserve a life that feels lighter and more intentional, where you can manage stress wisely, feel happier in your day-to-day reality, and genuinely love yourself in how you care for your time, your space, and your emotional well-being. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Wondering if your mother-in-law is just “a lot,” or if you’re actually dealing with a truly toxic mother-in-law situation? You are so not the only one lying awake replaying her comments and wondering what to do when this relationship feels way too involved in your marriage and family. In this episode, we’re talking about how a toxic mother-in-law dynamic starts to erode your sense of safety at home. Dr. Tracy Dalgleish - clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and author of You, Your Husband and His Mother - joins me to talk honestly about what happens when your partner is still emotionally tied to his mom, you’re trying to build a healthy new family, and you keep getting caught in the middle. We look at why some moms struggle to let go, why so many women end up over-functioning for everyone, and why so many men freeze or minimize when it’s time to set boundaries with a toxic mother-in-law… and then we talk about what you can do: becoming a united “vault” as a couple, setting real boundaries instead of endless “requests,” and getting clear on your options when the dynamic with your mother-in-law is starting to feel unbearable. Here’s how we walk through it together: 00:00 Why Mother-in-Law Conflicts Hurt Communication and Connection 03:14 Dr. Tracy’s Story and Why She Wrote “You, Your Husband and His Mother” 05:24 Mother–Son Bonds, Gender Roles, and the Roots of Toxic Mother-in-Law Dynamics 11:03 Unhealthy Family Patterns: Control, Enmeshment, and Emotional Caretaking of Mom 20:56 Overfunctioning Wives, Underfunctioning Husbands, and the Mother–Child Dynamic 24:39 The VAULT Method: Becoming a United Couple and Setting Boundaries with In-Laws 30:48 Requests vs Boundaries: What Really Works with a Toxic Mother-in-Law 51:41 Change, Accept, or Leave: Your Choices in a Toxic Mother-in-Law Situation If this stirs up a very specific conversation with your partner (or a replay of your last holiday with his mom) and your chest tightens a little, I have something for exactly that moment. My Communication That Connects training walks you through the evidence-based do’s and don’ts of communication that actually creates understanding instead of more defensiveness and hurt. I’ll help you get clear about the real issues under your fights, give you a framework you can start using right away with your partner, and walk you step-by-step through how to have hard conversations in a way that protects your emotional bond instead of tearing it down. And if you’re at the point where you’re thinking, “I don’t want to keep holding this all together by myself,” I would be genuinely honored to support you more directly. At Growing Self, you can privately tell us what’s going on with your marriage, your mother-in-law, your family, and we’ll help you connect with the right therapist or coach on my team. It’s a simple, secure way to raise your hand and say, “Here’s what I’m struggling with, please point me to the right person.” You can start that process anytime by scheduling a consultation. You deserve a family life that feels safe, sane, and loving, even if your extended family is… a lot. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

If your relationship is stuck in a painful communication breakdown, I want you to know you’re not crazy and you’re not alone. In this episode, I’m sharing how the right solution-focused therapy techniques can start shifting the energy between you, even if things feel really bad right now. I’m joined by solution-focused brief psychotherapist and author of Change Your Questions, Change Your Future, Elliott Connie, and we’re talking about why endlessly analyzing what went wrong rarely creates the change you’re craving. Instead, we look at how hope, better questions, and small, intentional acts of love can reopen doors that you were pretty sure were slammed shut: from a “hopeless” divorced couple who ended up with ten beautiful years of remarried life, to the quiet experiment of really studying your partner and giving them more of what you know makes them feel loved. Along the way, we wrestle with the hard stuff too: blame, “I’m the victim here,” boundaries vs. checking out, and whether you’re people-pleasing or simply showing up as the kind of partner you want to be. As you listen, I’d love for you to ask yourself: If hope came back into this relationship, what would actually be different between us? And who do I want to be in that story? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Relationships Really Fail: Losing Hope, Not Love 01:19 Solution-Focused Therapy vs Traditional Couples Counseling 06:03 Insight vs Healing: Why Understanding the Problem Won’t Fix Your Relationship 10:48 How Hope Heals Relationships: The Most Important Ingredient in Change 15:36 Court-Ordered Co-Parents to Remarried: Elliot Connie’s “Finding Nemo” Case Study 22:19 Ending the Blame Game: Taking Personal Responsibility in Marriage Conflicts 27:09 Try This Tonight: Small Acts of Love That Rebuild Emotional Connection 32:02 Is Your Partner Reciprocating? How to Read the Signs and What to Do Next 34:23 Change Your Questions, Change Your Future in Love and Relationships 36:51 Making Your Partner’s Happiness Your Job Without Losing Yourself 41:35 People-Pleasing, Boundaries, and Knowing When a Relationship Is Unhealthy 44:54 How to Get More Help for Your Relationship and Personal Growth If this conversation is bringing a particular argument or painful cycle to mind and you can feel your body tense up at the thought of talking about it, I created something to walk alongside you. My Communication That Connects training is where I take you deeper into the heart of this work: the real issues that drive conflict, the evidence-based do’s and don’ts of communication that creates connection instead of distance, and a clear framework you can start using with your partner right away.  And if you’re at the point where you’re thinking, “We cannot keep doing this by ourselves,” I would be truly honored to support you more directly. At Growing Self, you can tell us what’s going on, what you’ve already tried, and what you’re hoping for, and we’ll thoughtfully connect you with the right therapist or coach on my team. It’s a private, secure way to say, “Here’s what I’m struggling with,” and get matched with someone who can walk through this with you, step by step. You can begin that process by scheduling a consultation. You deserve a relationship where hard conversations are survivable, you feel heard and cherished, and love feels like a safe place to land. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

If you’ve ever told yourself, “I’ll finally relax when my relationship is better, my house is cleaner, my body looks different, my career is farther along,” this conversation is for you and me both. As we step into the holiday season - a time that invites reflection, gratitude, and sometimes a little extra pressure - I’m revisiting this episode because the message is timeless. We’re talking about cultivating contentment in the life you actually have, not some upgraded future version of it, and how to feel more at peace inside yourself without giving up your dreams, your drive, or your big, beautiful goals. We’ll look at the difference between quick hits of happiness and that steadier “all is well in my world” feeling, the paradox of being an ambitious human who also wants to enjoy today, and some very practical ways to take inventory of your life, question old beliefs about worth and achievement, and stop outsourcing your emotional climate to your circumstances. As you listen, I’d love for you to consider: What have you been making your happiness conditional on? And what might change if today, messy and imperfect as it is, actually counted as a good life? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction to Contentment 04:24 The Pursuit of Happiness vs. Contentment 10:56 Understanding Contentment 20:36 The Paradox of Growth and Contentment 22:29 Taking Inventory for Contentment 29:17 Exploring Core Beliefs and Values 32:55 The Impact of Negative Thinking 37:10 Contentment and Happiness 40:37 The Illusion of Circumstantial Happiness 46:20 The Journey of Personal Growth 52:32 Finding Joy in the Process of Life If you’re noticing how long you’ve been living in “when things are different, then I’ll be okay,” and you’d like a thoughtful partner while you practice something healthier, I’d love to connect with you. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team; it’s a private, secure space where you can tell us what’s really been going on in your world and what you’re hoping will feel different. We’ll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can feel more grounded, more understood, and more free to enjoy the life you’re in while you grow into what’s next. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self