Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

The world is already judging your appearance…but the real danger is when you start judging your worth by it, too. FYI: This is NOT in your head. The way you look really does affect how people treat you (unfortunately).Research shows that appearance can influence who gets hired, who gets helped, who gets the benefit of the doubt, and even the assumptions people make about you in a split second.But that doesn’t mean that you need to buy into the lies our culture is trying to hand you. In this eye-opening conversation, I sit down with psychologist and The Problem With Pretty author Dr. Allycin Powell-Hicks to unpack the uncomfortable psychology of beauty, appearance, and self-worth, and, more importantly, how to stop letting the mirror determine how you feel about yourself. You’ll learn: How your appearance can quietly influence so many shocking aspects of your life The consequences of being seen as “unattractive” (and how to overcome them) How beauty standards get tangled up with your confidence and identity Why tying too much of your self-esteem to your appearance is a dangerous investment How to build a stronger sense of self that isn’t dependent on how you look Your appearance may influence how the world sees you. It does not have to define your worth. If you’re ready to build deeper confidence, strengthen your sense of self, and feel more secure in who you are, schedule a free consultation with a Growing Self therapist or coach at growingself.com. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

What if the resentment you feel toward your partner isn’t actually about what they’re doing wrong…but about what you keep doing? You do the dishes. You make the bed. You remember everything. You fix problems before anyone asks. And then you quietly think: Why do I have to do everything around here? Here’s the twist: You may be blaming your partner for resentment that’s actually coming from how much you’ve taken on. That’s the realization that changed Alyssa Zander’s relationship. After four years of believing her partner needed to change, they broke up, and an unexpected encounter forced her to ask a much harder question: What was my part in this? Today, that same man is her fiancé. In this conversation, Alyssa and I unpack how over-functioning, unspoken expectations, and trying to manage your partner can quietly create the exact relationship dynamic you’re so angry about. You’ll learn: Why resentment may be a sign you’ve been doing too much How over-functioning can accidentally reinforce the dynamic you hate Why trying to fix your partner’s moods can push you further apart What to do when you’re thinking, “Why do I have to do everything?” How to ask for what you need instead of expecting your partner to read your mind Your resentment might not be asking you to try harder. It might be asking you to put something down. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self P.S. If resentment keeps showing up in your relationship and you’re ready to understand what’s really happening (and how to change it), schedule a free consultation with a Growing Self relationship expert at growingself.com. Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

You can navigate a difficult conversation with your boss, calm down a frustrated friend, and explain exactly how you feel…so why does one sentence from your partner turn you into someone who suddenly can’t communicate at all? Here’s the bombshell: You might not actually have a communication problem. Because the words aren’t the real problem. In this episode, I’m joined by Brandy Buckner, M.S., LMFTA, marriage and family therapist at Growing Self, to expose what’s actually happening underneath those impossible conversations: the communication styles you inherited, the attachment reflexes that take over when you feel threatened, and the private story running through your head before you shut down or lash out. You’ll learn: Why great communicators completely lose each other at home What’s really happening when one person pursues and the other shuts down The hidden feeling underneath anger that changes the entire conversation How to take a timeout without making your partner feel abandoned What to tell yourself when every instinct says, Get me out of here Why waiting for your partner to change keeps you both trapped Because sometimes the breakthrough isn’t learning what to say. It’s finally understanding what’s happening inside both of you before anyone says a word. And if you’re tired of having the same fight on repeat, schedule a free consultation with Brandy. She can help you change the pattern. She works with couples at Growing Self to uncover what’s happening beneath the conflict and build a relationship where you can actually hear, understand, and reach each other. Schedule a free consultation with her. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

If love makes you suspicious, compliments make you uncomfortable, and happiness makes you wait for something bad to happen…this episode might explain your entire life. Because what if your insecurity isn’t a personality flaw? What if your brain learned, somewhere along the way, that feeling good about yourself is dangerous? Psychologist and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Marisa Franco is back with fascinating new science about why insecurity can survive years of therapy, affirmations, self-help, and “working on yourself” (and what can finally begin to change it). Here’s the mind-bending part: Your memories don’t just record your past. They predict your future. And when your brain expects rejection, humiliation, or abandonment, even love and success can feel threatening. But those old memories aren’t necessarily fixed. Dr. Franco explains how the science of memory reconsolidation may help change the way the past continues to live inside you. You'll learn: Why compliments, love, and success can actually make you feel worse Why you can feel deeply insecure even when you can’t explain why How old memories can quietly shape what you expect from yourself and others How memory reconsolidation can begin changing the emotional impact of the past Why affirmations sometimes backfire when you have low self-worth How to recognize when deeper support may be the right next step If you’ve spent years trying to “love yourself” and wondering why nothing seems to stick, you need to hear this. You may not need another pep talk. You may finally need to understand what your brain has been trying to protect you from. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self P.S. Ready to stop letting old insecurities run the show? Book a free consultation with a Growing Self clinician and get matched with the right person to help you do this deeper work. Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs

We can all spot controlling people seeking influence over us. But what about our blind spots? What happens when other people are feeling controlled by us and we don't even realize what we're doing? Turns out what many of us call “helping” can feel controlling to our partners. This is not anything to feel bad about or ashamed of. It's just reality. Control issues rarely feel controlling when we’re doing it. They feel like being right. Keeping things on track. Getting your partner to understand. Making sure nothing goes wrong. In this episode, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby sits down with Seth Bender, M.A., LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach at Growing Self, to expose what control issues actually look like — including the ones you may not recognize in yourself. You’ll learn: Why control itself isn’t the problem The hidden reason you need things to go your way How to recognize your personal “rattlesnake rattles” before you react When reassurance quietly becomes control Why trying to control your partner backfires How to stop managing them and start managing yourself Because sometimes the hardest relationship truth is this: You may not experience yourself the way your partner experiences you. And being willing to see that could change everything. If this hits close to home, Seth can help. He works with individuals and couples to understand these deeper patterns, rebuild emotional safety, and create real change without blame or shame. Book a free consultation with Seth at growingself.com/seth. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.