Spoilerpiece Theatre

You know, sometimes you spend your young adulthood worshipping Satan, being a dirty heretic basking in the glory of His evil. And then, sometimes, inexplicably, you find God and dedicate your life to him. You even adopt a child and plan to raise her with a steady diet of God's love. And then what does Satan do? HE SHOWS UP ON YOUR DOORSTEP IN THE GUISE OF A CHURCH GARGOYLE AND DECIDES IF HE CAN'T HAVE YOU, HE'S GOING TO POSSESS THE BABY! Satan: What a bastard. So now you have to spend your life with the child attached at your hip, praying the evil away. Meanwhile, the child grows into adulthood, marries some dude, and the dude is semi-infected by your evil and abuses your children, and... Fuck it, it's nuttier than it sounds; just listen to us talk about THE VOICES OF OUR MOTHER (2:11) on the episode. Over on Patreon, Evan and Dave discuss the 1962 CAPE FEAR.

Steven Spielberg's aliens-are-among-us-and-we're-gonna-prove-it blockbuster is out, and Dave and Evan have seen it. And they liked it! Mostly! There are many odd choices in DISCLOSURE DAY (1:29), but also lots of things that are rather nifty, beginning with Emily Blunt's bravura performance. Over on Patreon, we talk about the 1995 anthology film FOUR ROOMS.

Not to be confused with SEVEN SAMURAI, SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS, THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, SE7EN, or SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS, it's SEVEN SNIPERS (2:53), a movie Dave proclaims is not a movie. It's a scenario. And sort of a good one. Just with some of the shittiest execution you've ever seen. First, there's Radha Mitchell as a retired sniper raising her soon-to-be 16-year-old daughter on an isloated farm in Australia. Okay, no problems there. Second, there's word that a nasty AF sniper by played Tim Roth is coming for Mitchell in order to kill her and probably do something else that will be completely obvious to anyone who has ever watched a movie. (Tim Roth as an elite sniper? As fine an actor as Roth is, he is neither Evan nor Dave's first choice to portray a killing machine. But whatever. Moving on.) Third, Mitchell calls in a favor, and one of her old military chums brings himself and four other elite snipers to guard the farm. It begs the question: How much money does elite fomer sniper Mitchell have? Fourth, ALL THESE ELITE SNIPERS STAND IN FRONT OF OPEN WINDOWS IN BROAD DAYLIGHT FOR THE ENTIRE RUNNING TIME. Fifth, enough. Just listen to us tear this thing apart. Over on Patreon, we watch Chris Pine's directorial debute POOLMAN.

Well, we won't mince words: LADIES FIRST (3:37) is some bullshit. In fact, it may be the worst movie Evan and Dave have seen in 2026 (and we haven't forgotten DOOBA DOOBA). No, LADIES FIRST is a special kind of movie; it's absolutely thoughtless, largely devoid of wit, and it doesn't play by rules it sets for itself. Stars Sacha Baron Cohen and Rosamund Pike, and a largely well-known cast of English acting heavyweights, slum it. This movie is so bad it's kind of a miracle. And it also fails confidently, so take that and it thoughtlessness, and you have a truly mind-blowing piece of shit. Over on Patreon, we talk about Ben Affleck's THE TOWN.

This week Evan takes a trip George Lucasville with THE MANDALORIAN AND GROGU (3:18) and Dave scratches his music itch with TUNER (24:08), about a piano tuner-turned-safecracker with the best sound design Dave has heard in a while. Over on Patreon, Dave and Evan talk about the asoblutely bonkers 1981 stalker film THE FAN, starring Lauren Bacall, James Garner, and a very young Michael Biehn.