<description>&lt;p&gt;No &lt;strong&gt;VACILO NEWS&lt;/strong&gt; de hoje: &lt;a href="https://instagram.com/danebayer"&gt;⁠⁠Daniel Bayer⁠&lt;/a&gt; e &lt;a href="https://instagram.com/assimdisseojoao"&gt;⁠⁠João Carvalho⁠⁠&lt;/a&gt; relatam para a humanidade (você) as principais notícias sobre &lt;a href="https://www.otempo.com.br/mundo/2026/2/5/ministro-da-malasia-diz-que-estresse-no-trabalho-faz-as-pessoas-se-tornarem-gays" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;ministérios que não deveriam existir&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href="https://www.metropoles.com/distrito-federal/na-mira/empina-toma-e-mama-fila-do-bumbum-guloso-ferve-atras-de-atacadao-no-df" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;fila de carros dos campeões&lt;/a&gt; e &lt;a href="https://extra.globo.com/blogs/page-not-found/post/2026/03/ia-permite-que-pessoas-conversem-com-as-suas-plantas-e-oucam-suas-queixas.ghtml" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;plantinhas falantes e reclamonas&lt;/a&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;FINANCIE ESTE VACILO:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="https://apoia.se/decrepitos"&gt;⁠⁠Assine o plano BOGA VIVA e participe do nosso GRUPO SECRETO NO TELEGRAM!⁠⁠&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;MANDA PIX:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="https://livepix.gg/decrepitos"&gt;⁠⁠livepix.gg/decrepitos⁠⁠&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;PARTICIPE PELO E-MAIL:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="ouvinte@decrepitos.com"&gt;⁠⁠ouvinte@decrepitos.com⁠⁠&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;ANUNCIE COM A GENTE:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="comercial@decrepitos.com"&gt;⁠⁠comercial@decrepitos.com⁠⁠&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;© Copyright 2026 - Decrépitos Podcast - Todos os direitos reservados&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
</description>

No VACILO NEWS de hoje: <a href="https://instagram.com/danebayer">⁠⁠Daniel Bayer⁠</a> e <a href="https://instagram.com/assimdisseojoao">⁠⁠João Carvalho⁠⁠</a> relatam para a humanidade (você) as principais notícias sobre <a href="https://www.otempo.com.br/mundo/2026/2/5/ministro-da-malasia-diz-que-estresse-no-trabalho-faz-as-pessoas-se-tornarem-gays" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">ministérios que não deveriam existir</a>, <a href="https://www.metropoles.com/distrito-federal/na-mira/empina-toma-e-mama-fila-do-bumbum-guloso-ferve-atras-de-atacadao-no-df" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">fila de carros dos campeões</a> e <a href="https://extra.globo.com/blogs/page-not-found/post/2026/03/ia-permite-que-pessoas-conversem-com-as-suas-plantas-e-oucam-suas-queixas.ghtml" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">plantinhas falantes e reclamonas</a>! FINANCIE ESTE VACILO:<a href="https://apoia.se/decrepitos">⁠⁠Assine o plano BOGA VIVA e participe do nosso GRUPO SECRETO NO TELEGRAM!⁠⁠</a> MANDA PIX:<a href="https://livepix.gg/decrepitos">⁠⁠livepix.gg/decrepitos⁠⁠</a> PARTICIPE PELO E-MAIL:<a href="ouvinte@decrepitos.com">⁠⁠ouvinte@decrepitos.com⁠⁠</a> ANUNCIE COM A GENTE:<a href="comercial@decrepitos.com">⁠⁠comercial@decrepitos.com⁠⁠</a> © Copyright 2026 - Decrépitos Podcast - Todos os direitos reservados

Decrépitos 468 - VACILO NEWS: Capitalismo Gay, Bumbum Guloso e IA de Planta

<description>&lt;p&gt;Neste novíssimo &lt;strong&gt;A HORA DO CONSOLO&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;a href="https://instagram.com/danebayer" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;Daniel Bayer&lt;/a&gt; e &lt;a href="https://instagram.com/thecrepitos" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;João Carvalho&lt;/a&gt; resolvem problemas de amizades que não existem, namoros fracassados e arrumam um par para um ouvinte desesperado!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Se interessou pelo nosso ouvinte?? Entre em contato com ele:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="https://www.instagram.com/marcos.h3/"&gt;Instagram dele&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;FINANCIE ESTE VACILO:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="https://apoia.se/decrepitos"&gt;⁠⁠Assine o plano BOGA VIVA e participe do nosso GRUPO SECRETO NO TELEGRAM!⁠⁠&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;MANDA PIX:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="https://livepix.gg/decrepitos"&gt;⁠⁠livepix.gg/decrepitos⁠⁠&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;PARTICIPE PELO E-MAIL:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="ouvinte@decrepitos.com"&gt;⁠⁠ouvinte@decrepitos.com⁠⁠&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;ANUNCIE COM A GENTE:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="comercial@decrepitos.com"&gt;⁠⁠comercial@decrepitos.com⁠⁠&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;© Copyright 2026 - Decrépitos Podcast - Todos os direitos reservados&lt;/p&gt;
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Neste novíssimo A HORA DO CONSOLO, <a href="https://instagram.com/danebayer" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">Daniel Bayer</a> e <a href="https://instagram.com/thecrepitos" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">João Carvalho</a> resolvem problemas de amizades que não existem, namoros fracassados e arrumam um par para um ouvinte desesperado!Se interessou pelo nosso ouvinte?? Entre em contato com ele:<a href="https://www.instagram.com/marcos.h3/">Instagram dele</a>FINANCIE ESTE VACILO:<a href="https://apoia.se/decrepitos">⁠⁠Assine o plano BOGA VIVA e participe do nosso GRUPO SECRETO NO TELEGRAM!⁠⁠</a> MANDA PIX:<a href="https://livepix.gg/decrepitos">⁠⁠livepix.gg/decrepitos⁠⁠</a> PARTICIPE PELO E-MAIL:<a href="ouvinte@decrepitos.com">⁠⁠ouvinte@decrepitos.com⁠⁠</a> ANUNCIE COM A GENTE:<a href="comercial@decrepitos.com">⁠⁠comercial@decrepitos.com⁠⁠</a> © Copyright 2026 - Decrépitos Podcast - Todos os direitos reservados

Decrépitos 467 - A Hora do Consolo #14

<description>&lt;p&gt;No &lt;strong&gt;VACILO NEWS&lt;/strong&gt; de hoje: &lt;a href="https://instagram.com/danebayer"&gt;⁠Daniel Bayer&lt;/a&gt; e &lt;a href="https://instagram.com/assimdisseojoao"&gt;⁠João Carvalho⁠&lt;/a&gt; informam a sociedade com as principais notícias do mundo!! Tem o &lt;a href="https://extra.globo.com/blogs/page-not-found/post/2026/01/aposentado-e-preso-por-misturar-urina-a-garrafas-de-refrigerantes-por-mais-de-um-ano.ghtml" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;refrigerante de urina&lt;/a&gt;, o&lt;a href="https://rollingstone.com.br/musica/iron-maiden-fear-of-the-pix-operacao-policia-ingressos/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt; ingresso falso do pix&lt;/a&gt; e &lt;a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Vr81EDeQ_0" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;elefantinhos jogando chutebola&lt;/a&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;FINANCIE ESTE VACILO:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="https://apoia.se/decrepitos"&gt;⁠Assine o plano BOGA VIVA e participe do nosso GRUPO SECRETO NO TELEGRAM!⁠&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;MANDA PIX:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="https://livepix.gg/decrepitos"&gt;⁠livepix.gg/decrepitos⁠&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;PARTICIPE PELO E-MAIL:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="ouvinte@decrepitos.com"&gt;⁠ouvinte@decrepitos.com⁠&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;ANUNCIE COM A GENTE:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="comercial@decrepitos.com"&gt;⁠comercial@decrepitos.com⁠&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;© Copyright 2026 - Decrépitos Podcast - Todos os direitos reservados&lt;/p&gt;
</description>

No VACILO NEWS de hoje: <a href="https://instagram.com/danebayer">⁠Daniel Bayer</a> e <a href="https://instagram.com/assimdisseojoao">⁠João Carvalho⁠</a> informam a sociedade com as principais notícias do mundo!! Tem o <a href="https://extra.globo.com/blogs/page-not-found/post/2026/01/aposentado-e-preso-por-misturar-urina-a-garrafas-de-refrigerantes-por-mais-de-um-ano.ghtml" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">refrigerante de urina</a>, o<a href="https://rollingstone.com.br/musica/iron-maiden-fear-of-the-pix-operacao-policia-ingressos/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"> ingresso falso do pix</a> e <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Vr81EDeQ_0" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">elefantinhos jogando chutebola</a>! FINANCIE ESTE VACILO:<a href="https://apoia.se/decrepitos">⁠Assine o plano BOGA VIVA e participe do nosso GRUPO SECRETO NO TELEGRAM!⁠</a> MANDA PIX:<a href="https://livepix.gg/decrepitos">⁠livepix.gg/decrepitos⁠</a> PARTICIPE PELO E-MAIL:<a href="ouvinte@decrepitos.com">⁠ouvinte@decrepitos.com⁠</a> ANUNCIE COM A GENTE:<a href="comercial@decrepitos.com">⁠comercial@decrepitos.com⁠</a> © Copyright 2026 - Decrépitos Podcast - Todos os direitos reservados

Decrépitos 466 - VACILO NEWS: Urina Diet, Fear of The Pix e Elefantinhos Boleiros

<description>&lt;p&gt;Na volta oficial das &lt;strong&gt;INFINITAS FÉRIAS&lt;/strong&gt;, &lt;a href="https://instagram.com/danebayer"&gt;⁠Danes⁠&lt;/a&gt; e &lt;a href="https://instagram.com/assimdisseojoao"&gt;⁠Jão⁠&lt;/a&gt; dão dicas de séries que eles não viram, assistem trailers de filmes que vem aí (vai lá no nosso &lt;a href="https://www.youtube.com/live/RIJ3Q8mUGNc?si=5j_Crpy1MdCkQHt3&amp;t=1375" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;Canal do Youtube&lt;/a&gt; pra assistir junto) e mostram o novo &lt;a href="https://apoia.se/decrepitos" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;APOIA.SE do Decrépitos&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;FINANCIE ESTE VACILO:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="https://apoia.se/decrepitos"&gt;⁠Assine o plano BOGA VIVA e participe do nosso GRUPO SECRETO NO TELEGRAM!⁠&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;MANDA PIX:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="https://livepix.gg/decrepitos"&gt;⁠livepix.gg/decrepitos⁠&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;PARTICIPE PELO E-MAIL:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="ouvinte@decrepitos.com"&gt;⁠ouvinte@decrepitos.com⁠&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;ANUNCIE COM A GENTE:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="comercial@decrepitos.com"&gt;⁠comercial@decrepitos.com⁠&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;© Copyright 2026 - Decrépitos Podcast - Todos os direitos reservados&lt;/p&gt;
</description>

Na volta oficial das INFINITAS FÉRIAS, <a href="https://instagram.com/danebayer">⁠Danes⁠</a> e <a href="https://instagram.com/assimdisseojoao">⁠Jão⁠</a> dão dicas de séries que eles não viram, assistem trailers de filmes que vem aí (vai lá no nosso <a href="https://www.youtube.com/live/RIJ3Q8mUGNc?si=5j_Crpy1MdCkQHt3&t=1375" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">Canal do Youtube</a> pra assistir junto) e mostram o novo <a href="https://apoia.se/decrepitos" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">APOIA.SE do Decrépitos</a>. FINANCIE ESTE VACILO:<a href="https://apoia.se/decrepitos">⁠Assine o plano BOGA VIVA e participe do nosso GRUPO SECRETO NO TELEGRAM!⁠</a> MANDA PIX:<a href="https://livepix.gg/decrepitos">⁠livepix.gg/decrepitos⁠</a> PARTICIPE PELO E-MAIL:<a href="ouvinte@decrepitos.com">⁠ouvinte@decrepitos.com⁠</a> ANUNCIE COM A GENTE:<a href="comercial@decrepitos.com">⁠comercial@decrepitos.com⁠</a> © Copyright 2026 - Decrépitos Podcast - Todos os direitos reservados

Decrépitos 465 - Retornando das Infinitas Férias

<description>&lt;p&gt;No primeiríssimo &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;VACILO NEWS&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; de 2026: &lt;a href="https://instagram.com/danebayer" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;Danes&lt;/a&gt; e &lt;a href="https://instagram.com/assimdisseojoao" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;Jão&lt;/a&gt; trazem as mais importantes notícias sobre a &lt;a href="https://g1.globo.com/ms/mato-grosso-do-sul/noticia/2026/01/28/jiboia-e-flagrada-batendo-ponto-apos-o-expediente-em-predio-de-orgao-publico-de-campo-grande.ghtml?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=social&amp;utm_campaign=g1" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;Jiboia funcionária do mês&lt;/a&gt;, a &lt;a href="https://www.instagram.com/reels/DMyL4zSv0wR/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;cenoura que não é do ator global&lt;/a&gt; e o &lt;a href="https://g1.globo.com/saude/noticia/2026/01/26/paciente-e-internado-apos-ficar-com-desodorante-preso-no-reto-medicos-fazem-alerta.ghtml?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=social&amp;utm_campaign=g1" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;desodorante que não te abandona&lt;/a&gt; MESMO!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;FINANCIE ESTE VACILO:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="https://apoia.se/decrepitos" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;Assine o plano BOGA VIVA e participe do nosso GRUPO SECRETO NO TELEGRAM!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;MANDA PIX:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="https://livepix.gg/decrepitos" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;livepix.gg/decrepitos&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;PARTICIPE PELO E-MAIL:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="ouvinte@decrepitos.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;ouvinte@decrepitos.com&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;ANUNCIE COM A GENTE:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="comercial@decrepitos.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"&gt;comercial@decrepitos.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;© Copyright 2026 - Decrépitos Podcast - Todos os direitos reservados&lt;/p&gt;
</description>

No primeiríssimo VACILO NEWS de 2026: <a href="https://instagram.com/danebayer" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">Danes</a> e <a href="https://instagram.com/assimdisseojoao" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">Jão</a> trazem as mais importantes notícias sobre a <a href="https://g1.globo.com/ms/mato-grosso-do-sul/noticia/2026/01/28/jiboia-e-flagrada-batendo-ponto-apos-o-expediente-em-predio-de-orgao-publico-de-campo-grande.ghtml?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=g1" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">Jiboia funcionária do mês</a>, a <a href="https://www.instagram.com/reels/DMyL4zSv0wR/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">cenoura que não é do ator global</a> e o <a href="https://g1.globo.com/saude/noticia/2026/01/26/paciente-e-internado-apos-ficar-com-desodorante-preso-no-reto-medicos-fazem-alerta.ghtml?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=g1" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">desodorante que não te abandona</a> MESMO! FINANCIE ESTE VACILO:<a href="https://apoia.se/decrepitos" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">Assine o plano BOGA VIVA e participe do nosso GRUPO SECRETO NO TELEGRAM!</a>MANDA PIX:<a href="https://livepix.gg/decrepitos" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">livepix.gg/decrepitos</a> PARTICIPE PELO E-MAIL:<a href="ouvinte@decrepitos.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">ouvinte@decrepitos.com</a> ANUNCIE COM A GENTE:<a href="comercial@decrepitos.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">comercial@decrepitos.com</a> © Copyright 2026 - Decrépitos Podcast - Todos os direitos reservados

Decrépitos 464 - VACILO NEWS: Jiboia bate ponto, Cenoura no boga e Desodorante no reto

Daniel Bayer e João Carvalho abordam temas do cotidiano, variedades, cinema, TV, nostalgia, cultura pop, atualidades, notícias e assuntos polêmicos. Tudo com muito bom humor, azedume e a fofura de dois velhinhos gente boa.

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