<p><strong>Dr. Susan Campbell on Inconvenient Pain, Triggers & The Pause</strong></p><p><strong>Why conflict is normal — and how learning to “pause” can transform your closest relationships.</strong></p><p>Psychologist, author, and renowned couples therapist <strong>Dr. Susan Campbell</strong> returns to Mind Body Health & Politics for a powerful conversation about emotional pain, conflict, and the skills most of us were never taught.</p><p>She and Dr. Richard Louis Miller explore why relationships inevitably hurt, why humans instinctively avoid emotional discomfort, and how this avoidance prevents us from growing. Instead of trying to “fix” or escape pain, Susan teaches how to <strong>feel it, understand it, and use it as a doorway to deeper connection.</strong></p><p>Susan explains why old childhood wounds get triggered in relationships, how the nervous system reacts under stress, and why even minor disagreements can unleash outsized reactions. She and Richard discuss the universal patterns couples fall into — denial, control, withdrawal, blame — and how practicing <em>the pause</em> interrupts these automatic behaviors.</p><p>They also explore the deeper psychological landscape: why civilized cultures are addicted to control, how intimacy exposes our vulnerabilities, and why emotional courage is essential for personal and collective evolution.</p><p>This conversation is honest, warm, practical, and deeply human. If you've ever wondered why conflict feels overwhelming — or how to navigate it with clarity and compassion — this episode offers tools that can change your relationships from the inside out.</p><p><strong>Guest</strong></p><p><strong>Dr. Susan Campbell</strong> — psychologist, couples therapist, group facilitator, and author of 12+ books including <em>Getting Real</em>, <em>Truth in Dating</em>, <em>The Couples Journey</em>, and <em>From Triggered to Tranquil</em>. She is internationally known for her work on honesty, emotional triggers, and relationship communication.</p><p><strong>Key Topics</strong></p><p>Why emotional pain is normal — not a sign something is “wrong”</p><p>“Inconvenient pain” and why relationships activate our earliest wounds</p><p>How childhood patterns influence adult reactions</p><p>Triggers: what they are, why they happen, and how to recognize them</p><p>The body’s role in emotional reactions: fight, flight, freeze, control, or withdrawal</p><p>Why most of us avoid pain — and how this avoidance creates more suffering</p><p>The Pause: how to interrupt spirals before real damage occurs</p><p>How conscious breathing calms the nervous system after activation</p><p>Compassionate self-inquiry: what to do after you pause</p><p>How to identify your personal “control patterns”</p><p>Saying no with kindness vs. protecting yourself with avoidance</p><p>Expansion of emotional capacity as a path to personal evolution</p><p>Why our culture trains us to answer quickly — and how slowing down changes everything</p><p>How relationships become mirrors that reveal unhealed wounds</p><p>Teaching emotional intelligence to children — and why it matters</p><p>Why genuine relating is more important than managing outcomes</p><p><strong>Timestamps</strong></p><p><strong>00:00</strong> — Why humans need community to thrive<strong>00:58</strong> — Introducing Dr. Susan Campbell<strong>01:20</strong> — Susan’s core message: expanding our capacity for emotional discomfort<strong>02:33</strong> — What “inconvenient pain” really means<strong>03:45</strong> — Why humans avoid painful truths<strong>04:19</strong> — Normal frustrations inside relationships<strong>05:18</strong> — Why our culture romanticizes ease — and misleads us<strong>06:40</strong> — Pain as an opportunity for emotional growth<strong>07:51</strong> — Childhood wounds and how relationships reactivate them<strong>09:30</strong> — Real-life example: wanting different things at the same time<strong>10:55</strong> — Triggered reactions: control, withdrawal, shutdown<strong>11:53</strong> — How to recognize your trigger patterns<strong>13:45</strong> — How to sit with discomfort instead of escaping it<strong>15:20</strong> — How triggers mix the past with the present<strong>17:58</strong> — The value of seeing your old patterns clearly<strong>19:51</strong> — Why conflict escalates so fast<strong>20:26</strong> — Susan’s signature tool: The Pause<strong>22:01</strong> — Why talking while triggered never works<strong>23:55</strong> — How to calm your nervous system during a pause<strong>25:30</strong> — “You know the pause is working when you’re no longer blaming.”<strong>25:46</strong> — Conscious breathing as emotional regulation<strong>26:36</strong> — Why discipline leads to long-term harmony<strong>28:36</strong> — Emotional skills we should teach children<strong>30:01</strong> — Beyond the pause: compassionate self-inquiry<strong>31:14</strong> — How self-compassion arises naturally after nervous-system calming<strong>33:22</strong> — Why these tools should be taught in schools<strong>35:30</strong> — Addiction to control in modern culture<strong>37:21</strong> — Saying no with kindness<strong>39:14</strong> — Control patterns: how we avoid discomfort<strong>41:27</strong> — Why taking time to respond feels threatening in our culture<strong>43:28</strong> — What happens when we fear uncomfortable outcomes<strong>45:51</strong> — Susan’s final additional insight<strong>47:37</strong> — Closing reflections and where to find Susan’s work</p> <br/><br/>This is a public episode. 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