The Quadriplegic Father Who Raised Triplets Into Strong Adults

Click on Fan Mail link and give me feedback. Thanks Parenting Adult Children Through Disability, Resilience, and Trust James Moffitt speaks with Ken Kunken about fatherhood, identity, and raising three sons while living with quadriplegia. The conversation explores what strength looks like when a father cannot rely on physical ability, and how trust, patience, and presence shaped Ken’s relationship with his sons.Ken also shares his story as a student, attorney, author, and caregiver, including the barriers he faced before the Americans with Disabilities Act and how he turned adversity into a model of resilience for his children. Key topics Ken’s family today: His triplet sons are 21 years old, attending three different colleges, and thriving independently. Fatherhood without physical mobility: Ken describes how his limitations helped him become a better listener and a more patient parent. A memorable moment of care: He recalls a frightening episode in a crowded store when his son Joseph helped him through dizziness and a blood-pressure issue. Redefining strength: Ken modeled resilience by returning to college after his injury, earning degrees, and building a career as an assistant district attorney and supervisor. Facing fears as a father: He reflects on worrying that his sons might be embarrassed by his disability—and how their pride helped ease that concern. Family teamwork: Daily caregiving helped the family build independence, cooperation, and mutual support. Meeting his wife, Anna: Ken shares how an ad for a caregiver led to a relationship that grew from employer and employee to friendship and marriage. Inclusion at home: He discusses how cultural, religious, and physical differences helped his sons develop a strong sense of equity and inclusion. Accessibility and perseverance: Ken recalls returning to Cornell in 1970, when ramps and curb cuts were scarce, and becoming the first quadriplegic to graduate from Cornell, earn a graduate degree there, and work as an ADA on Long Island. Why he wrote his memoir: Ken wanted to show that people with spinal cord injuries can build meaningful, successful lives with support and determination. Advice for parents: Spend quality time with adult children, listen carefully, build trust, and stay emotionally available. Timestamps 00:00 — Introduction to Ken Kunken’s story of fatherhood, disability, and resilience  00:51 — Ken introduces himself and his triplet sons  01:25 — Why it matters to Ken that his sons stay close  02:15 — A son helps his father through a medical scare in public  04:12 — How disability shaped Ken’s approach to fatherhood  05:10 — Modeling strength through work, education, and leadership  06:27 — Worrying whether his sons would be embarrassed by his disability  07:43 — Discipline, respect, and the family’s approach to correction  08:39 — Teaching triplets teamwork and independence  09:38 — How Ken met Anna and how caregiving became marriage  10:19 — Diversity, equity, and inclusion at home  11:00 — His sons’ martial arts training and physical confidence  11:49 — Teaching empathy through vocational rehabilitation work  13:14 — Inclusion across religion, culture, and physical ability  14:47 — Early career barriers in courtrooms  16:01 — College accessibility before the ADA  17:11 — Ken’s milestones at Cornell and in his legal career  18:55 — Parenting through the COVID pandemic and the transition to adulthood  19:51 — Letting adult sons provide care in certain moments  20:55 — Growing up with extended family after losing his mother as an infant  22:39 — His sons read his book and better understand his experience  23:33 — Why he wrote his memoir  25:26 — The story behind the book’s title  26:32 — What Ken would do with one day of full physical ability  27:07 — Advice to parents of adult children: listen, trust, and stay present Notable quotes Copy “There is an awful lot we all can do, if we work hard, try our best, work with others and hopefully help each other along the way.” Copy “Spend time with your children, quality time, and listen to them.” A few takeaways for parents Spend uninterrupted, quality time with your adult children. Listen without rushing to fix or judge. Build trust by being emotionally safe and consistent. Remember that a problem may feel bigger to your child than it does to you. Keep showing love as your role shifts from director to support. Richard Jones. I am an RN with over 34 years of Nursing Experience, much of that experience working with young adults in the corrections system.  Parenting Adult Children Call To Action  Support the show Social Media Links  https://www.youtube.com/@abcparentingadultchildren https://www.instagram.com/parentingadultchildren125/  https://www.tiktok.com/@chiefpropellerhead ABC's of Parenting Adult Children Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61581576308055  r/parentingadultchildren Feel free to subscribe to these channels and share the links with your social media portals.