35 | When You’re Grieving Someone Who’s Still Here | Grief Support with Julie Barth

Sometimes grief begins long before someone dies. You can still hear their voice, sit beside them, and love them fiercely while quietly missing the life you used to have together. In this episode of At the Counter, Laura sits down with writer, mother of six, trauma survivor, and founder of the Colin James Barth Outreach, Julie Barth, for an honest conversation about caregiving, anticipatory grief, loss, guilt, and what happens when an entire family learns to live around illness. Julie shares the story of caring for her daughter Taytem through complex medical needs and later walking alongside her husband Colin through pancreatic cancer. She talks candidly about the exhaustion of navigating doctors, treatments, insurance, parenting, and marriage while trying to convince everyone, including herself, that things were “fine.”  Together, Laura and Julie explore the grief that begins before death, the complicated relief a caregiver may experience when suffering finally ends, and the guilt that can follow. Julie also reflects on realizing years later that she had done the best she could in circumstances where nothing ever felt like enough.  They also talk about the emotional “backpack” caregivers carry, the difficulty of admitting when you can no longer do everything yourself, and why caring for yourself is not a betrayal of the person you love.  In this conversation:  Anticipatory grief and grieving someone who is still here   Caregiver exhaustion, guilt, and resentment   Parenting while navigating serious illness   The pressure to tell everyone you’re “fine”   Why grief doesn’t follow a timeline   Giving yourself grace for what you could and couldn’t do   The transition from caregiver to widow   Learning to receive care when you’re accustomed to caring for everyone else   How Julie’s experiences eventually inspired the Colin James Barth Outreach  Julie reminds us that it’s okay not to be fine and that we are not defined by how successfully we appear to be holding everything together.  Soul Pause: What are you carrying that you haven’t allowed yourself to name? Not fix. Not solve. Just name. ☕💛  Connect with Julie: JulieBarthAuthor.com Learn more about Julie’s books,  Taytem’s art, and the Colin James Barth Outreach. Care for Little Ears: This episode includes conversations about serious illness, cancer, caregiving, death, grief, and end-of-life experiences. ☕ Pull up a chair. The Counter is open. Join me October 19–23 for The Empty Chair at the Counter, a free five-night online retreat for anyone carrying grief, change, or a season that feels heavier than expected. Come as you are. Your chair is already waiting. https://bakingpastor.com/tec-atc/ Support the show ☕ Enjoying At the Counter? Share the podcast with a friend: If an episode made you think of someone, send it their way. Leave a review: Your review helps more people discover At the Counter with the Baking Pastor and find encouragement for the season they’re walking through. Come join us at the Counter: Download the At the Counter app in your phone’s app store and connect with a welcoming community where the conversation continues between episodes. At the Counter with the Baking Pastor is for anyone looking for Christian encouragement for hard seasons, grief support, burnout recovery, soul care, and faith in everyday life. We talk about grief and loss support, caregiving, life transitions, unwanted change, emotional healing, spiritual weariness, rest and renewal, and practical soul care for the days when life feels heavy, faith feels tired, or you simply don’t feel like yourself anymore. Pull up a chair. The counter is open. ☕