Babbling About …. What Happened To You

#237: “That’s just who I am” can feel like a fact, but what if it’s a pattern you’ve practiced for years because it once kept you safe? I’m reflecting on a trauma-informed idea from What Happened to You by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry, and it’s pushing me past the usual conversation about childhood trauma into the part we don’t talk about enough: what happens after you understand the why. We dig into how coping skills can quietly become an adult identity. Maybe a behavior helped you avoid conflict, feel in control, get attention, or protect your heart when you were younger, and now it shows up in your relationships, your decisions, and the way you see yourself. I also unpack why changing your mind isn’t a character flaw. Sometimes it’s what personal growth looks like when you have better information, new tools from therapy, and a clearer sense of what you actually believe now. Along the way, I wrestle with the hard-to-label moments: are you setting a boundary or avoiding discomfort? Are you giving grace or making excuses? Are you being patient or tolerating something that’s hurting you? The goal isn’t perfection or a single healing breakthrough, it’s noticing patterns sooner and giving yourself permission to evolve. If this resonates, subscribe, share the show with a friend who’s doing the work, and leave a review so more people can find it. What’s one “personality trait” you’re starting to suspect might be a learned behavior? You can now send us a text to ask a question or review the show. We would love to hear from you! Support the show Follow me on social: https://www.instagram.com/babbles_nonsense/