Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast

The Bastards are partnering with D8 Dungeon on the D8DungeonDrive 2026! They are rolling dice and auctioning off a seat at their table for you and yer friends! Head over to https://tinyurl.com/epictables26 to see what's up for grabs, place your bids, and get ready to RUMBLE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ze and Boris are riding the rails, while Cleo, Robin and Trevor take to the skies aboard Jordan to reclaim their hard-won spoiler and rescue R.E.E.S.E. from the galaxy’s worst parking job.

Far east of Rhalloran, a caravan winds its meager way through the woods. We find ourselves on the trail, with a mercenary, an alchemist, an old witch, and a hundred score displaced by the wars of empire. Within the myriad worlds of the caravan, there is great coin to be made tonight. Unfortunately, the alchemist isn’t the only one who knows it. Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠PATREON This is HOMEGAME, a Patron exclusive return to our fantastical Bastard roots- the high fantasy worlds of Rhalloran! We’re keeping in the derail, the rules chat, the meta of all metas, and dammit, we’re eating snacks at the table while we do it. Pull up a chair, and grab a brew- because we’re bringing you into our HOMEGAME! Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Pencerdd Cwenhild the Unhale -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Siege --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Bjorn Hurri Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our PATREON If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For nearly six years, we have roamed the far reaches of outer space. But once upon a time, we were magic. We were pirates! We were sword and shield fighters in an arcane land.. ..we were also recording on headsets and eating crisps into the microphone. So it’s high time we return to the fantasy, and high tail it back to the grind of pre-plumbing! Tonight we’re building characters, and we’re spilling out all of our ideas. This is the episode zero of our HOMEGAME, so pull up a chair and meet Cwenhild, and Siege- the raw, rough edged dream-vessels of our first “casual” game in at least 600 years. Magic?? Crossbows? Table snacks? WE’RE BACK BABY. Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠PATREON This is HOMEGAME, a Patron exclusive return to our fantastical Bastard roots- the high fantasy worlds of Rhalloran! We’re keeping in the derail, the rules chat, the meta of all metas, and dammit, we’re eating snacks at the table while we do it. Pull up a chair, and grab a brew- because we’re bringing you into our HOMEGAME! Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Pencerdd Cwenhild the Unhale -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Siege --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Bjorn Hurri Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our PATREON If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Turns out, leaving a spaceship full of stolen bioweapons in a parking lot after live streaming the theft to the whole galaxy was not the best plan.