Be VicTORIEus Ep. 114

Got a question? Send us a text! This episode discusses domestic abuse and coercive control. US National Domestic Violence Hotline: call 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. Free, confidential, 24/7. Ama K. Karikari had the plan. Harvard undergrad. An MBA and a JD. Senior counsel at Citibank, twentieth floor, writing bond disclosure. Married to a Yale man whose family came from the same part of Ghana as hers. On her honeymoon, her husband stopped speaking to her. It lasted hours. Over the next fifteen years it would last between two weeks and three months at a time, every time she failed to submit. She Googled domestic violence. She Googled abuse. What she was living wasn't in the definitions. So she went to marriage counseling, individual counseling, EMDR, Reiki, wife coaching, two sex coaches, and read every book she could find — for fifteen years — before she understood that nothing was broken. It was working exactly as designed. She's now a lawyer campaigning to have the silent treatment recognized as coercive control. This is her conversation with Dr. Torie. You can follow her on IG @amakkarikari Buy Dr. Torie's  Book Today! https://www.bevictorieus.com/event-details/pre-order-your-book-today Make sure you share this show! https://youtu.be/xNkpIyybRq0 00:00 The episode starts here 00:30 Caught at Meet the Teacher night 01:30 Lawyer by training, and the 9% bond due in 2045 03:30 Following somebody else's plan 05:30 The first awakening 07:00 The marriage that looked perfect on paper 09:00 The honeymoon 11:00 Googling for a word that wasn't there 13:00 Fifteen years of trying everything 15:00 The fifteenth anniversary 16:30 "Uh-oh. You've had enough." 18:00 Why domestic abuse is the blueprint 19:30 Why Dr. Torie won't tell her own story 22:00 The gap in the ACEs framework 23:30 A screamer, a beater, and the man who never raised his voice 24:30 The father hierarchy 26:30 The welfare queen, and the fear that boxed her in 28:00 The download 29:30 Imago theory, and five coincidences from Ghana 32:30 Inside the workbook 35:00 Victim accountability, not victim blaming 36:30 Learning how to trust again 38:00 Soaring Sister Circles 40:00 Worship no one but God 41:30 Close Make sure you follow Dr. Torie everywhere.  @dr.victorieus #aces #bevictorieus #adversechildhoodexperiences #cyclebreakers #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #aceambassador #aces #bevictorieus #adversechildhoodexperiences #cyclebreakers #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #aceambassador