Beer Me That Movie

Eight minutes remain. Powder Jones has survived an avalanche. His skis are gone. His cassette is destroyed. He's standing on the roof of Pike Lodge holding two cafeteria trays while an entire corporate security force waits below. And somehow… this is where things get weird. Welcome back to POWDER JONES — PART 2, the conclusion of our 50th feature film and the final episode of Beer Me That Movie. If you haven't listened to Part 1 yet: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? Go back. We'll wait. Actually, we won't. Powder only has eight minutes. PREVIOUSLY ON POWDER JONES… Former ski champion Preston “Powder” Jones has spent years secretly delivering affordable medicine to the residents of Mercy Peak. When corporate resort owner Conrad Pike manufactures a drug shortage, frames Powder as a trafficker, and turns the mountain itself against him, Powder accepts one final impossible delivery. He begins at the summit with 45 minutes to reach Ruby's underground clinic before critically ill twelve-year-old Eli runs out of time. Now there are eight. The mountain is coming down. The town is waking up. And Conrad Pike has made one enormous mistake: He thinks Powder Jones is alone. INSIDE THE FINALE 📻 The Call Goes Out: If Powder Jones ever brought you something you couldn't afford, it's time to return the favor. 🎿 Mercy Peak Fights Back: Patients, ski patrol, kitchen workers, children, goblins, professional wrestlers, and several creatures without clearly defined tax status join the fight. 🍬 Gumball Warfare: After years of questionable advice, Gumballhead finally produces a prophecy Powder might actually want to follow: TAKE THE JUMP. 🐴 Sassy: Conrad Pike discovers why attempting to mount an angry pony during a police pursuit is generally discouraged. 📼 The Tape: Pike's confession must be played for the entire town using a damaged cassette, a pencil, and technology that absolutely should not be responsible for delivering justice. 🎿 THE FINAL JUMP: One unfinished ski ramp. Two cafeteria trays. One clinic across town. Powder Jones has spent his entire life wondering whether he wasted his talent. He's about to find out. And then… Well. There's still that orange canister. PROJECT NUGGET NECTAR We told him not to drink it. Powder listened. Unfortunately, somebody else didn't. What follows may be the single largest violation of reasonable storytelling ever attempted on Beer Me That Movie. Old friends return. Portals open. Gabagool flies. We have problems. AND THEN…THE END After the mountain has been saved, the medicine delivered, the villains defeated, and the property damage assessed, we say goodbye to Mercy Peak. But! Beer Me That Movie has one final trip to make. Because sometimes… what's lost will be found. 🍺 OUR FINAL FEATURE Movie: Powder Jones Beer: Spaten Oktoberfest Ur-Märzen Feature Film: #50 Beer Me That Movie Episode: The Finale From the bottom of our extremely beer-damaged hearts: Thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for voting. Thank you for sending us your beer check-ins. Thank you for giving us an excuse to sit in a shed, drink beer, make each other laugh, and build an increasingly ridiculous universe together. Without you there is no Sexy Nun. No Banana Whale. No Cone Goblins. No Imperial Gabagool. No Chicken Jon Cena. No Dump Truck of Doom. No Powder Jones. And there definitely aren't fifty movies. These stories exist because you kept coming back to hear them. That has been an incredible gift. 💬 THE FINAL QUESTION Out of everything we've created on Beer Me That Movie: What character, movie, moment, running joke, or completely idiotic idea will you remember most? We genuinely want to hear it. 👥 ONE LAST TIME… Website: beermethatmovie.com Instagram: @beermethatmovie All films are fake. All beers are real. The lawsuits remain hypothetical. (Except the Marisa Tomei ones) 00:00 - Intro 00:33 - Act 3: BRING IT HOME, POWDER JONES 26:41 - Epilogue: Banana Jones?

Everybody wants the drugs. Nobody can catch the dealer. After 100 episodes, 50 feature films, countless beers, several demons, suspicious amounts of gabagool, at least one Banana Whale, and absolutely zero lessons learned, Beer Me That Movie is heading down the mountain one last time. Mercy Peak, Colorado. 1991. Preston “Powder” Jones was once one of the fastest skiers in Colorado. Now he spends his nights illegally moving affordable medicine down Mercy Peak for the people who can no longer afford to buy it. Powder calls it “alpine pharmaceutical redistribution.” Everyone else calls it drug smuggling. But when a midnight medicine drop turns out to contain lifesaving drugs, evidence of a corporate conspiracy, and one extremely suspicious orange canister, Powder discovers that corrupt resort owner Conrad Pike has turned the entire mountain into a trap. An avalanche-control explosion leaves Powder injured at the summit with ski patrol closing in and a critically sick kid waiting for medicine at the bottom. The clock reads 6:15 A.M. The clinic gets raided at seven. Powder's normal route takes two hours. He has 45 minutes. One mountain. Several hundred prescription drugs. Absolutely no prescription. And nowhere to go but down. Genre: Action Comedy / Ski Movie / Medical Heist Thriller / Corporate Conspiracy Setting: Mercy Peak, Colorado — 1991 INSIDE PART 1 🎿 Meet Powder Jones: Former ski champion, current black-market medicine runner, and owner of the loudest ski suit in Colorado. 💊 Powder Means Snow: Everyone assumes Powder is smuggling cocaine. The hundreds of white pills in his backpack are not helping his case. 🏔️ Welcome to Mercy Peak: Conrad Pike has purchased the mountain, the pharmacy, the medical system, the ski patrol, and apparently the concept of snow itself. 📟 1991 Technology: Pagers nobody understands, pay phones attached to buildings, malfunctioning radios, cassette tapes, and a Walkman that refuses to die. 🚧 The Cone Goblins: They recognize no human law. They do, however, recognize traffic cones as currency. 🧁 Trust the Muffin: A young dishwasher knows considerably more about rich people, secret tunnels, and locked basements than she probably should. ⛪ The Chapel: Powder finally discovers who has been helping move medicine through the Zero Divide Network…and longtime BMTM listeners may recognize her. 👀 THE UNIVERSE IS GETTING WEIRD: Some very familiar people, creatures, objects, and extremely questionable pieces of Beer Me That Movie history are beginning to appear around Mercy Peak. And somewhere inside Powder's backpack is a canister labeled: PROJECT NUGGET NECTAR FOR IMMEDIATE DESTRUCTION DO NOT CONSUME UNLESS PREPARED FOR GREAT CHICKENING Probably nothing. BUT FIRST… For our final Beer Me That Movie feature, we're drinking Spaten Oktoberfest Ur-Märzen, the classic amber Märzen from Munich. You chose Powder Jones. You did this. TO BE CONTINUED… Tune in tomorrow. Same Powder time. Same Powder channel. 👥 CONNECT WITH US Website: beermethatmovie.com Instagram: @beermethatmovie Listen wherever you get podcasts. And if you've ever listened, voted, submitted a beer, sent us a message, or wondered what the hell was wrong with us: Thank you. You helped make all 50 of these ridiculous movies possible. 00:00 - Intro 03:42 - Beer Of The Episode: Spaten Oktoberfest 05:16 - Powder Jones: How Did We Get Here? 08:37 - Act 1: THE NIGHT RUN 42:14 - Act 2: NO EASY WAY DOWN

The ER has seen frequent flyers before. It has never seen one give birth to a six-foot mosquito. When 83-year-old retired exterminator Anthony arrives at the emergency room with a rapidly growing mosquito bite, the staff assumes it’s just another one of his suspiciously frequent medical emergencies. Then the bite gains eleven pounds, develops its own heartbeat, and asks for a turkey sandwich. Meet Skeeter: a towering mosquito-human hybrid with Anthony’s eyes, memories, bad knees, and absolutely no respect for sandwich ownership. Corporate calls it an “emerging biological asset.” Anthony calls it the reason he still hasn’t received proper medical care. But Skeeter isn’t the only thing buzzing. A genetically modified swarm is collecting DNA from every human and animal in the county—and it plans to use Skeeter as the nervous system for a gigantic communal queen. Now Anthony, an exhausted ER doctor, his favorite nurse, and a hospital volunteer with mysteriously unrestricted access must survive a corporate lockdown, stage the largest blood drive in county history, and teach a confused insect toddler that being created by someone doesn’t mean belonging to them. Grab the bug spray, guard your turkey sandwich, and whatever you do—stop scratching. This Week’s Feature: • Beer: Frequent Flyer • Brewery: Bannerman Brewing • Checked in by: Anthony 🎧 Connect With Us: • Website: beermethatmovie.com • Instagram/TikTok: @beermethatmovie • Leave a voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie Head over to BeerMeThatMovie.com to cast your final vote in The Vault and help choose our last feature film! 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:31 - A Word From BMTM 00:05:45 - Act 1: A Little Swelling 00:33:37 - Act 2: We’re Here for the Bite 01:15:08 - Act 3: The Blood Drive 01:36:17 - Harrisons Epilogue

This is the last Fast Five ever... but Beer Me That Movie isn’t over. After 48 Fast Fives, hundreds of beers, and thousands of votes, Jon and Harrison are turning five real craft-beer names into ridiculous movie pitches one final time. They’re drinking Sierra Nevada Torpedo Extra IPA, revisiting The Mystery, and giving you one last chance to choose the next feature film. This Week’s Final Fast Five Movie Pitches: Beer #1: Juice Box — A boxer is accused of killing his opponent with performance-enhancing drugs. Was he juicing—or was he set up? A perspective-shifting courtroom whodunit where even the juice box may get a say. Beer #2: Auto Tune — A pitch-perfect madman creates technology that steals singers’ voices, drags Milli Vanilli into an international conspiracy, and forces the Sexy Nun to intervene. Eliminated and sent to The Vault. Beer #3: Massive Treat — Every kid dreams of finding the house with the king-size candy bars. But one house offers something even bigger—and no child who has claimed it has ever returned. Beer #4: Five Out of Five Stars — A picturesque small-town inn has maintained a perfect rating for years. When one difficult guest leaves a half-star review, the townspeople hunt him down to protect their reputation at any cost. Beer #5: Frequent Flyer — A lonely hospital regular arrives with a mysterious growth that won’t stop getting bigger. Is it a parasite, an alien—or the beginning of something much worse? VOTE FOR THE WINNER on our Instagram! Vote in the Vault for our 50th Feature Film: https://beermethatmovie.com/ Leave us a message and make your vote count twice: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie Share this episode with a friend and help us choose the next Beer Me That Movie feature film. CHAPTERS 00:00 – Cold Open 00:56 – The Final Fast Five Begins 03:24 – Recap: The Mystery 12:11 – Beer of the Week: Sierra Nevada Torpedo Extra IPA 15:17 – One Last Voting Pitch 17:51 – Beer #1: Juice Box 23:49 – Beer #2: Auto Tune 30:02 – Beer #3: Massive Treat 35:15 – Beer #4: Five Out of Five Stars 40:52 – Beer #5: Frequent Flyer 48:49 – The Final Elimination 50:46 – Your Final Fast Five Ballot

"If the USDA arrives before you call them—hide the fish-man."What happens when a failed salesman named Mike H accidentally cracks open a pre-Egyptian alien vault beneath rural Iowa? He discovers the Anunnaki’s discarded rough drafts of humanity: fish-men, dog-headed weirdos, alligator-jawed bruisers—and one enormous opportunity.Inspired by Mike H’s check-in of Tree House Brewing’s “The Mystery,” we’re building a cosmic-conspiracy comedy packed with roadside attractions, crop circles, government cover-ups, and an extraterrestrial middle manager desperate to hide his mistakes from Corporate.INSIDE THE EPISODE-The Beer Hook: How Tree House Brewing’s “The Mystery” and Mike H inspired Feature #48.-Something Beneath Iowa: One illegal M80 cracks open a vault older than the pyramids.-The Approved Batch: Gill, Snout, Sheila, and the forgotten prototypes that came before humanity.-The Greatest Show Off Earth: Mike turns an ancient genetic disaster into the Midwest’s hottest roadside circus.-The Cornfield Conspiracy: Tammy Twilight connects the USDA, crop circles, and a suspicious threat to “Lake Iowa.”-Alien Middle Management: Fred arrives wearing his Apollo-era human disguise and carrying a whistle that controls the creatures.-The Crop-Circle Roundup: Mike must rescue his new friends—and sell Fred on committing intergalactic corporate fraud.💬 WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!Which rejected Anunnaki prototype would you want as your roadside-circus roommate: Gill, Snout, or Sheila?And remember: if the USDA showed up before you called them, what would you hide first?👥 CONNECT WITH USWebsite: beermethatmovie.comInstagram: @beermethatmovie00:00:00 - Intro00:03:39 - A Short Message From BMTM00:05:12 - Act 1: SOMETHING UNDER IOWA00:37:54 - Act 2: THE GREATEST SHOW OFF EARTH01:06:28 - Act 3: THE CROP-CIRCLE ROUNDUP01:20:00 - Epilogue: Acceptable Chaos