Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

My guest this week is Jason Dobbie, a chef of 26 years who got sober while still running professional kitchens. Sobriety, though, did not answer the question underneath it all: who am I? Eight years on, Jason leads a community of more than 750 people working through that same question, and he joins Ash to unpack what it actually took to rebuild a sense of self from the ground up. Jason and Ash talk about quitting marijuana years after quitting alcohol, the moment a spiritual awakening cracked his life wide open, and the discomfort of becoming a different person. He shares how learning to put himself first, speak his truth and trust his intuition eventually led him to walk away from a lucrative head chef job for a life built on purpose and alignment. It is a conversation about the long, often unglamorous work of self-discovery, and a reminder that sobriety is only ever the beginning of finding out who you really are. Episode chapters: 00:08 Meet Jason: 26 Years a Chef, 750 People in Community 01:02 Building a Community From a Meditation Group 02:43 A Day in Jason’s Life Now 04:13 Where His Drive Really Comes From 06:02 The Photo: Successful on the Outside, Empty on the Inside 08:52 Quitting Weed After 25 Years 10:43 The Veil Effect of Weed and Alcohol 12:07 Why He Finally Quit Drinking 14:34 Free Health Care, Group Therapy and Finding Meditation 18:18 A Shared Story of Spiritual Awakening 20:43 Sober but Lost: Who Am I Now 22:13 The Turning Point at the Mirror 26:39 Learning to Put Himself First 30:52 The Body Signal That Pointed Him Toward a New Career 38:09 Reframing Meditation as Just Paying Attention 44:26 Jason’s Three Non-Negotiables Connect with Jason here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jason.dobbie/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jason.dobbie Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Retreats The Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out More The Embodied Woman 5 Day Retreat | April 21 - 25, 2027 | Find Out More Courage To Heal: Childhood Trauma Retreat | June 14 - 21, 2027 Email [email protected] for more information A Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027 Email [email protected] for more information Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this solo episode, Ash reflects on a recent trip to the Gold Coast, where she spent five nights at a wellness retreat, not as a facilitator but as a guest. Away from Wi-Fi and her usual pace of life, she unpacks five lessons that surfaced in the stillness. From remembering to trust the wisdom of her body, to rereading an old favourite book and discovering how much she herself had changed, there were plenty of downloads she wanted to share. Ash also discusses the importance of balancing mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health rather than over focusing on just one or two, and how you can achieve this without creating more overwhelm. This is a reflective, practical episode about what it looks like to actually slow down, listen inward, and trust the shifts that quietly ask to be made. Episode chapters: 00:00 Retreat Announcement 01:13 Coming Back From Eden Retreat 03:38 A Life of Bookends: Regulated Mornings, Full Steam Days 08:18 Choosing Your Own Adventure at Eden 10:39 Trusting the Body Over the Aura Ring 15:09 The Nervous System Check and the 99th Percentile Surprise 17:23 Hearing the Whisper to Step Back From Teaching 21:59 Saying Yes and Watching Life Respond 24:12 Rereading The Untethered Soul Years Later 28:53 Releasing a Resentment Through Energy, Not Defense 31:10 The Joy of Talking to Strangers 33:32 The Four Pillars of Health 43:01 A New Offering Coming in January Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Retreats The Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out More The Embodied Woman 5 Day Retreat | April 21 - 25, 2027 | Find Out More Courage To Heal: Childhood Trauma Retreat | June 14 - 21, 2027 Email [email protected] for more information A Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027 Email [email protected] for more information Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week Ash sits down with Dave McGrath, a 47 year old carpenter and father who recently celebrated three years of sobriety. For a period of about nine months before rehab, Dave was living out of his car, seeing his daughter once every month or two, and losing himself completely to what he calls the alcoholic insanity. His rock bottom came in a friend's garage, staring at an extension ladder and a rope, before something in him snapped awake enough to call a rehab. In this raw and honest conversation, Dave takes Ash through the chaos of early sobriety attempts that did not stick, the shame of losing contact with his family and his daughter, and the strangers along the way who quietly helped him find his footing, including a chance encounter on a footpath that led him to treatment. He also opens up about an unexpected and profound spiritual awakening in a church that changed the course of his recovery, and what it has taken to rebuild trust with the people he hurt along the way. This is a story about hope, redemption and never giving up. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introducing Dave McGrath 03:21 The Photo: A Visitation Day With His Daughter 04:16 The Unmanageability of Alcoholic Insanity 05:55 The First Drink as a Child 09:30 Hating Who He Saw in the Mirror 10:41 The Craving He Could Never Control 15:14 Failed Attempts and Dry Spells 18:52 Cold Water Plunges at 2am 19:33 Rock Bottom: The Rope in the Garage 21:31 A Stranger on the Street Who Showed Him the Way 23:21 A Daughter Waiting at the Window 26:03 From Dry Drunk to Actually Working the Program 44:51 A Spiritual Awakening at Church 47:57 Daily Conscious Contact and Letting Go of Rage 50:21 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic Life Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Retreats The Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out More The Embodied Woman 5 Day Retreat | April 21 - 25, 2027 | Find Out More A Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027 Email [email protected] for more information Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My guest this week is Megan Ashton, founder of Unity Breathwork and a leading voice for raising safety standards in the breathwork industry. Megan spent most of her adult life escaping herself, first through alcohol and bulimia as a teenager, then later through constant travel that let her outrun her feelings entirely. It took a devastating breakup, and a breathwork session in Bali, for her to finally crack open decades of unprocessed grief, so that she could start the long journey of finding a way back to herself. In this conversation, Megan and Ash unpack what conscious connected breathwork actually is, why it so often brings up trauma the body has been holding for years, and what it means to build a practice around genuine safety rather than chasing catharsis. Megan speaks candidly about the childhood wounds that shaped her patterns of numbing, the importance of proper preparation and integration when facilitating breathwork, and her mission to make this kind of healing as accessible and understood as yoga. This conversation invites you to think about acknowledging the feelings you’ve spent a lifetime avoiding. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introducing Megan Ashton 05:24 The Photo: Hiding Behind the Smile in Nicaragua 07:32 Travel as an Escape Strategy 09:33 A Sensitive Childhood and the First Time She Numbed Out 11:17 The Slow Slide Into Bulimia 12:59 The Breakup That Broke Everything Open 19:57 Trying Everything Before Breathwork 20:27 The Bali Session That Changed Her Life 22:17 Discovering Her Mission in Conscious Connected Breathwork 24:07 What Conscious Connected Breathwork Actually Is 27:08 A Year of Crying: What Processing Really Looks Like 28:07 Letting Go of Expectations in the Practice 00:18 Why Safety in Breathwork Matters So Much 02:28 The Risk of Retraumatisation Without Proper Preparation 04:33 Grounding and Integration After a Session 18:11 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic Life Connect with Megan through the links below: Website: (https://unitybreathwork.com/) Breathwork Facilitator Training page: (https://unitybreathwork.com/breathwork-facilitator-training/) Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/unitybreathwork/) Retreats:(https://unitybreathwork.com/breathwork-retreat/) Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Retreats The Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out More The Embodied Woman 5 Day Retreat | April 21 - 25, 2027 | Find Out More A Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027 Email [email protected] for more information. Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My guest this week is Tully Johns, a Melbourne based health coach who spent close to fifteen years working as a zookeeper before turning to helping people. For most of three decades, Tully carried the effects of childhood sexual abuse without a name for it, showing up instead as depression, anxiety, and eventually a PTSD diagnosis. It was only in his forties, after his brother came forward with his own memories and pursued a case against their father, that Tully began to understand what he himself had survived. In this conversation, Tully shares what it was like to process decades of trauma later in life, the stretch of days he could not get out of bed that became his turning point, and the small, unglamorous practices that slowly rebuilt his life from the ground up. He and Ash talk about connection, letting people in, and what it means to parent well after having none of that modelled for you. This is a tender and deeply honest conversation about healing on your own timeline and choosing, every day, not to be defined by what happened to you. Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of child sexual abuse, please listen with care. Support services have been included in the episode show notes. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introducing Tully Johns 06:33 The Photo: Hiding Behind the Smile 07:00 Discovering the Abuse: A Four Year Old's Burden 14:11 His Brother's Case and the Public Fallout 18:13 Forty Years to Process What Happened 26:03 Finding Escape and Purpose Through Animals 32:05 The Catabasis: Hitting a Wall as a Stay at Home Dad 36:17 The Fake Smile That Started the Rebuild 38:16 One Word Journaling and Small Daily Wins 40:58 Movement as Medicine 45:57 Self Compassion Alongside Discipline 49:06 Reparenting the Four Year Old Within 53:01 Why Connection Changes Everything 01:00:40 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic Life Connect with Tully using the links below: Rebuild Body & Mind with Tully: https://www.skool.com/rebuild-with-tully-5411/about tullyjohns.com Recovering From Childhood Trauma - How I got my life back: https://youtu.be/r0BwXJvU59Q Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tullyjohns/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61581593417290 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@tullyjohns Support Services If this episode has brought anything up for you, support is available: Blue Knot Helpline provides specialist support for adult survivors of childhood trauma and abuse. Call 1300 657 380. 1800RESPECT provides free, confidential counselling and support for anyone impacted by sexual violence. Call 1800 737 732 or text 0458 737 732, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Bravehearts provides information and support relating specifically to child sexual abuse. Call 1800 272 831, Monday to Friday, 8:30am to 4:30pm AEST. Lifeline provides crisis support 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Call 13 11 14. Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Retreats The Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out More A Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027 Email [email protected] for more information Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.