S2E11 - Late-Diagnosed Neurodivergence: Self-Forgiveness, Shame & Self-Acceptance

Send us Fan Mail What happens when you finally understand your Neurodivergence and suddenly see parts of your past differently? In this episode of Black Girl, Brown Girl… Squirrel!, Shai and Alexis talk about the complicated work of forgiving yourself after a late Neurodivergent diagnosis. We get into the labels we carried before we had the language to understand ourselves: awkward, too sensitive, bad at relationships, stupid, not trying hard enough. We talk about the shame and embarrassment that can come from looking back at situations through a new lens, as well as the anger that can surface when you realize there were things about your Neurodivergence that other people simply didn't recognize. But this conversation isn't about staying stuck in the past. Shai and Alexis explore self-acceptance, reframing shame, changing negative self-talk, extending yourself grace, forgiving other people, and learning to see “I do it differently” instead of “I'm bad at this.” They also talk about therapy, growth, community, and making space to become more fully yourself. And because this is BGBGS, we also talk about what happens when you find communities where the labels disappear and you can simply be who you are. As Season 2 comes to a close, we're leaving you with one reminder: Start with yourself. 🐿️ Forgiveness isn't always a one-time decision. Sometimes it's something you practice again and again as you learn, grow, and make room for who you are becoming. Time Stamps 00:00 — Welcome, Iced Coffee & Season 2 Hibernation  06:43 — Why We’re Talking About Forgiveness  07:35 — The Labels We Carried Before Diagnosis  10:44 — “Stupid,” “Too Sensitive,” and Other Internalized Labels  15:07 — What Changes After a Neurodivergent Diagnosis?  19:32 — Looking Back With Anger, Grief & “Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda”  23:10 — When “Should” Becomes Shame  25:19 — Letting Go of Embarrassment From the Past  28:25 — Forgiving Yourself for What You Didn’t Know  33:30 — Why Forgiveness Helps Us Move Forward  37:35 — Making Space for Grace, Support & Growth  41:34 — The Power of Self-Talk  45:24 — “I Do It Differently” Instead of “I’m Bad at This”  48:21 — Advocacy, Relationships & Knowing When to Walk Away  51:49 — Learning Differently and Growing in Self-Love  53:02 — What We’d Tell Our Younger Selves  55:38 — Start With Yourself  57:32 — Season 2 Finale: The Season of Feelings  01:01:30 — Finding Community & Letting the Labels Disappear  01:05:04 — Squirrel Hibernation & Looking Ahead to Season 3  01:06:29 — See You in Season 3, Squirrels! RESOURCES Mental Health Resources 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Therapy for Black Girls Inclusive Therapists Clinicians of Color Neurodivergent Resources ADDitude Magazine Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA) Association for Autism & Neurodiversity (AANE) The Color of Autism Foundation  Understood Job Accommodation Network (JAN) CONNECT WITH US Fan Page: Fanlist.com/BGBGSquirrel  IG: @BGBGSquirrel Threads: @BGBGSquirrel Email: [email protected]