Episode 248: When Alcohol Becomes Your Off Switch: Finding a Better Way to Cope with Colleen Freeland

“One little tiny action restores A modicum of some control. Then that control begets more control.” Colleen Freeland ~ Founder, Emotional Sobriety Coaching ; Host of It's Not About the Alcohol podcast    What happens when the woman who can handle everything discovers that handling everything is part of the problem? On this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, Mary Fran talks with Colleen Freeland, founder of Emotional Sobriety Coaching and host of the It’s Not About the Alcohol podcast, about why high-achieving women often turn to alcohol—or other coping mechanisms—not because they lack discipline, but because they’ve become very good at ignoring their own needs while managing everyone and everything else. Colleen describes her own experience of juggling work, family, a business and a packed life while drinking daily, and the realization that alcohol had become her “off switch.” Colleen explains how to begin resetting with resilience by noticing what is happening now rather than racing ahead to solve tomorrow's problems. Instead of another complicated plan to “do better,” she encourages women to identify what they're feeling, determine what they actually need, and take one small action in the present moment. It's Control the Controllables through imperfect action at its most practical: you may not be able to solve everything today, but you can do something about the next few minutes. And as Colleen says, one small action that restores some control can lead to more control. Most importantly, Colleen challenges the idea that a woman's value is measured by her output--something "responsible women" struggle with daily. She points out that many successful women have learned to override their bodies, emotions and needs in order to keep performing—and then wonder why they need something to help them shut everything down. The alternative--stop demanding more from the “workhorse doer,” recognize that your own needs belong on the list, and trust yourself enough to take the next small step. Resilience isn't about proving how much more you can carry. Sometimes it's recognizing what you need right now and giving yourself permission to respond. Change can be uncomfortable, but telling yourself the truth and moving forward one imperfect action at a time can create forward momentum that changes your life. For more of Colleen's wisdom, tune into this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast. Be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance: “The work you have to do is sitting with the discomfort of not doing work right now.” “This is why this is a skill, because you have to learn to train your brain to slow down when it wants to speed up.” “You can't change your brain by listening to this podcast or reading all my fabulous material. It is 1 experience at a time where the outcome is different from what you expected.” “One little tiny action restores A modicum of some control. Then that control begets more control.” “The escape from the story is always to come into the present moment.” “You have to stop wanting more from your workhorse doer. This isn't a sweatshop situation. Your needs are not actually negotiable.” “And if you can make the shift in perspective, the strategies that got you here, successful, high achieving, unplug your brain and run like a chicken with your head cut off for a decade, the strategies that got you here aren't going to take you to the next level.” “The journey is inward, not one more certification and one more promotion and one more zero on your bank account. It is peace.” “And that's how you rewire your brain, through authentic, intrinsic motivation of feeling better, following one little breadcrumb at a time.” Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran