Building a Better Dave

Stop Signs, Golf Clubs, and the KKK: Why We See What We're Looking For" If you see people as the enemy, you're going to find evidence of it everywhere, because that's exactly what you're looking for. That's the theme running through this episode, and I've got three ridiculous, infuriating examples to prove it. I open with a story from my restaurant days in my 20s, when I knew a guy so convinced everything was out to get him that I couldn't resist messing with him. I told him a stop sign is secretly Satanic: S-T-O-P, "Satan's the only power," and for about ten seconds, he actually bought it. It's a dumb bit, but it makes the point: when you're primed to see a threat, you'll see one, even in a stop sign. Then I get into the real outrage of the week. A golf club ad gets torched online because a husband tackles his wife to stop her from swinging a "possessed" driver, and somehow that becomes "promoting domestic abuse." Both companies apologized, Dick's Sporting Goods pulled the product, and I'm just sitting here wondering how we got from a Halloween-themed commercial to that conclusion. Spoiler: I don't think the apology helped. I talk about why the outrage crowd never actually accepts an apology once they've decided you're guilty. From there it's on to a Converse ad, a woman in a robe surrounded by shoes, lit with a star-shaped light. Innocent, right? Not if you're looking for a hood and a lynching, which is exactly what some people saw. I'm not saying racism doesn't exist. I'm saying if that's all you're trained to look for, you'll find it in a shoe ad. I also get into: Why I think racism is taught, not innate, and why I lean toward the "let's just treat each other like people" camp The "hottest year ever" claims that ignore the Dust Bowl, and why nobody wants to actually talk facts anymore My own mildly lost, mildly nervous walk through New York City, and why I think we've confused "anxious" with "nervous" or "excited" to the point where kids can now leave class because they didn't get enough Captain Crunch The WNBA controversy over defining what a woman is (spoiler: I think biology already answered this) Why I've mostly quit watching the news and started getting it from podcasts instead I wrap up the way I usually do: we've got to stop having stupid arguments, start talking to people outside our own bubbles, and quit assuming the worst about each other. Until then, I'm still betting things get better. If you want to give back, buy me a coffee.

I expect the news to lean left or to lean right, and it drives me crazy. The one side calls the other side a bunch of names. We never really get the true story. It's all intended not to inform but more to entertain and to get a bunch of bullet points across. Now it's getting worse. When I was a little kid, I saw Gone with the Wind with my mother. It was her favorite movie because of Clark Gable, who was hot. I'm amazed she took me because the movie is almost four hours long, but I do remember there was an intermission because any males over 50 couldn't hold their pee that long, even in 1939. But now a fictional story has to have a disclaimer in the description or before you watch the movie on HBO. That's driving me crazy that people feel they have to inform me that slavery was bad. As bad as public school education is, we did get the point that slavery does not look like a lot of fun. I remember watching Roots and just being absolutely horrified. They also tell me to go Google Black Lives Matter. If you actually do that and start digging into where all the money went, you might actually be a little upset because it didn't go where you thought it was going to go. I learned about this from Amala Ekpunobi who has a really good YouTube channel? It's interesting now where I'm seeing Black people call out their own culture. Likewise, I'm seeing White people call out all the Karen nonsense, where White people are behaving badly. If you start watching body cam footage, everyone is behaving badly. It's not a race thing. It's the fact that parents forgot how to parent, and now the inmates are running the asylum. John Lennon had a song "Just Give me Some Truth" and I'm starting to identify with that song more and more.

I got a call from my sister-in-law as I was driving to get some pizza, and she invited me over to her house because the 3rd of April is my great nieces birthday. We were going to have a makeshift birthday party at the house, and she said all the kids are going to be here, meaning my niece and her three kids (my other niece lives out of state). I went over, and my great-niece has grown easily a foot and a half in the last three months. I can't remember the last time I saw her, but she's much taller. My great-nephew is taller than I am. It was one of those times when I knew to take a brain tattoo, meaning it's something that's not going to happen (so take a mental snap shot). I've been doing this a lot when the kids are together because the newphew is 18, and it's very weird that he's graduating from high school. It was kind of a slap in my face that, "Hey, if you wanted to watch this kid play high school sports, you missed it," and it made me very sad. My mom attended everything; now moms always do that, because they had to drive you there, probably, but nonetheless it was one of those where I think I saw him play sports three times. I thought, "You suck as an Uncle," but it was great to have them all together. It was really weird that the baby of the family is now a teenager. The middle great-niece will soon be driving, and the oldest Nephew is off to Myrtle Beach with his buddies. That phrase, "All the kids will be here," is something that, even before I got there, I realized is something that's going to be more and more special. Eventually we will blink, and someone will be married with a kid. The newphew has a girlfriend now who seems very sweet, and then the girls will go off. Who knows what will happen, right? Nonetheless, having everyone under the same roof will be harder and harder to do, because who knows, they might end up in other states, et cetera, et cetera. I actually got a little emotional because I was watching him leave. Here he is, this 18-year-old kid, and about six feet in front of him was my niece (his Mom). I remember vividly watching her on a blanket at my brother's house in North Hill. She occasionally would say "buh," and we all thought that was hilarious. Here was my little "buh" baby, and her first kid is now a high school graduate, and it just happened so incredibly fast. And faster it will go. If I'm going to see the great nieces, cheerleading or whatever they're doing, I'm going to have to step up my game as an Uncle. Check Your Calendar My niece had even sent a date and address to one of his last games. I remember thinking I need to check that and add it to my calendar, except he had already graduated and I had missed it. So check your calendar. I believe your calendar reflects your heart. Don't wait, as time is moving faster and faster. Get your prorities in place.

This month has been a wild ride—I've spent a ton of money and even more energy waterproofing my basement, only to find out the pipes were completely clogged and needed major repairs. My childhood hangout is now a construction zone, and the work isn't over yet. But it's not all about the basement—this week I set out for what I thought would be a relaxing bike ride, only to end up carrying my bike up and down muddy stairs in pursuit of the elusive Brandywine Falls. Along the way, I found myself hot, sweaty, and covered in dust, whether I was cleaning at home or out on the trail. It got me thinking about attitude—how sometimes the work and the fun leave you feeling the same physically, but it's how you look at it that makes the difference. So join me as I share what I've learned about perseverance, getting older, and keeping your eye on the prize. Let's get better together, one adventure at a time! Enjoy the show? Buy Me a Coffee

On this episode of Building a Better Dave, I open up about a lifelong battle with debt, from childhood lessons learned at the family kitchen table to the hard realities of bankruptcy, divorce, and the ever-looming burden of credit cards. I share how persistent financial setbacks reshaped his perspective on money, hard work, and resilience. Just when he thought he had finally conquered debt, an unexpected basement flood pulled him back in, reminding him that life's challenges are never really finished. Join me as I explore what it means to keep pushing forward when setbacks strike, the value of perseverance, and how sometimes tearing things down is the first step to building something even better. Like the show? Wan to give some value back? Buy Dave a Coffee (or 10). Sequence of Topics Covered 1. Introduction & Theme of Debt Dave Jackson introduces debt as the main topic and his lifelong struggle with it 00:00. Show info and contact details are provided 00:08. 2. Early Lessons in Money and Debt Memories of his dad doing taxes and the tension around finances 00:36. The influence of the Lannister motto, "A Lannister always pays his debts," on his upbringing 01:22. Story of borrowing $300 from his grandfather to buy a car and the process of paying him back 01:28. Learning there are no "free lunches" and needing to earn money for things he wanted, such as music albums 01:47. 3. Family Finances & Value of Money Family's economic background (not rich, not poor, but frugal) 02:24. Use of coupons, hand-me-downs, and lessons in financial responsibility from his mother 02:33. 4. Adult Experiences with Debt First marriage: fertility challenges lead to substantial credit card debt for treatments 02:41. Living paycheck to paycheck and discussing bankruptcy, which conflicted with his "pay your debts" values 03:30. After 9/11, wife's hours were cut, leading them to file for bankruptcy reluctantly 03:40. 5. Struggles with Debt in Later Life Marriage to a partner with poor credit and inheriting someone else's credit card debt after divorce 04:17. Failed attempts at debt consolidation and the difficulty of accessing better loan rates 05:09. Gradual process of securing slightly better loans and working towards being debt-free 05:25. 6. The Turning Point: Selling the School of Podcasting Conversation with his boss about potential for the School of Podcasting 05:42. Decision to sell the business for enough money to pay off debt, while maintaining a professional relationship 06:23. Finishing 2025 debt-free and entering the new year with a clean slate 07:07. Enjoying financial freedom and considering future opportunities and contributions to family 07:38. 7. Setbacks: Home Flooding and New Debt Feeling of finally catching up to peers in life after years of feeling behind 08:03. Discovery of water damage and mold in the basement after heavy rain 09:18. Realization of the high cost involved in repairs and choosing to finance the repairs rather than deplete savings 10:30. Resuming strategies from earlier years to manage debt and expenses 11:05. 8. Mindset and Coping Strategies Acceptance of debt as a temporary setback and readiness to cut corners and reduce expenses (e.g., fewer streaming services, no fast food) 11:48. Reflecting on the possibility of being in debt into old age and the impact on personal plans 12:22. 9. Tackling Change and Optimism Clearing out the workshop and preparing for basement renovations 12:51. Parallel between demolishing basement parts and the demolition of his childhood schools 13:31. Considering new configurations for the basement, such as moving down his podcasting studio, and seeking hidden benefits 14:05. Drawing inspiration from his grandmother's longevity supported by daily movement 14:18. 10. It is What It is Paying for repairs and looking forward with optimism, knowing things will improve 14:46. Mention of listener support through "buy me a coffee" on the website to help with expenses 14:58. Closing wishes for the audience and a tease for the next episode 15:19.