The Art of Saying No

Here's something I find fascinating. A lot of us are living a balanced life with a brain that's a hot mess in there, and so a life we're actually executing really well ends up feeling terrible. You got everybody fed and you made it to all the things on time, but your mind spent the whole day telling you how far behind you are, and that is what drained the battery. That's not a commitment problem. That's a thinking problem, and honestly it's good news, because you don't have to change your calendar to fix it. So this episode is how I tell the difference, and then exactly what I do when it really is too much. I list everything out (including the meals and the laundry, because you're already committed to those), I put my finger on each one and pray "Lord, what do you want me to know about this?" and then I ask whether the healed version of me takes this on. I also walk you through two real decisions from my own fall, the giant yes I'm so glad I said and the hard no I knew would disappoint people, and what happened after. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Why the tired usually comes from your thinking and not from your schedule, because your body runs a physiological stress response all morning and drains the battery before anything has even happened What a balanced life with an unbalanced mind looks like, and the question to ask about yesterday to find out which one you've got Writing down every commitment, with meals and cleaning and clean clothes in big buckets, so your brain can see what it already signed up for Praying over each one with "Lord, what do you want me to know about this?" instead of "do you want me to keep this, yes or no," which boxes him in and leaves no room for a nuanced answer Some commitments are neutral to God, like the Honda Odyssey or the Toyota Sienna, and you can become a saint either way The question I'd never said out loud before: does the healed version of me take this on, or did I say yes out of woundedness What woundedness sounds like ("if I don't do it, no one will do it"), and the genuinely healthy version of that exact same yes Why the pressure to keep a good program alive is coming from your thinking, and being willing to tolerate some disappointment when the answer is no Going to the Lord for the "good job" you're not getting at home... even for cleaning the microwave EPISODE TIMELINE: (estimated at 5-minute marks, no timestamps in the transcript, confirm against audio) [00:00] – The art of saying no, and that includes backing out of things you already said yes to [05:00] – The morning your brain is off to the races, the car, and being tired from your thoughts instead of your day [10:00] – A balanced life and an unbalanced mind, and living the exact same day with a better attitude [15:00] – Listing every commitment out, the buckets you're already signed up for, and receiving what God gives you [20:00] – Praying over each one, neutral commitments, and "does the healed version of me say yes to this?" [25:00] – The giant yes: building a Catholic hybrid homeschool option at the parish over six months [30:00] – The hard no: stepping back from teaching atrium this year, cleaning the microwave, and the three steps together LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: Catholic Mom Calm (come learn how to manage your mind with us): https://catholicmomcalm.com One Million Rosaries Challenge (free, all of October, sign up and start a group): https://onemillionrosaries.com CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH: Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm