Ep 40: Who Are You Beneath the Armor? The Actual Purpose of Personal Development (Psalm 139: 13-14)

You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother's womb. I praise you, because I am wonderfully made; wonderful are your works! My very self you know." -Psalm 139:13-14 What is the ACTUAL purpose of all our personal development? If you’re a High  Responsibility Human, there’s a good chance you’ve spent years learning about yourself.  You probably know your personality type, leadership style, strengths, weaknesses, attachment patterns, and even your spiritual gifts. And yet, it’s entirely possible to know an enormous amount about yourself while still living at a distance from the person God actually created you to be. Over the last several weeks, as I’ve been preparing to lead Grow In Your Gifts™, God has been taking me through my own uncomfortable process of examining that gap. How much of who I’ve become has grown from the grace-filled gifts God gave me and His formation of them? And how much developed (or got diminished or distorted) because of who I thought I needed to become in order to be loved, appreciated, respected, safe, or useful? In this episode, I’m exploring the difference between our true self, the full human being God already sees.  And this includes closely examining the false selves we construct through two key coping mechanisms: costumes and armor. The costumes are what we add: competence, usefulness, strength, low needs, impressive accomplishments, even versions of holiness that make us look like the person we think we’re supposed to be. The armor protects and conceals underneath. It walls off the vulnerable pieces of ourselves we learned to hide because allowing them to be seen once felt unsafe. But here’s the uncomfortable truth:  God can ALWAYS see underneath all of it, whether we want to lay it bare to him or not.  In this episode, we discuss: Why self-awareness and self-discovery are incomplete if they never lead us toward greater honesty and surrender before God The difference between a Christian understanding of the “true self” and self-actualization that centers the self Why authenticity requires obedience How high-responsibility humans construct respectable false selves around usefulness, competence, strength, knowledge, and being “low need” The difference between the costumes we add and the armor we use to cover Why our desires deserve discernment rather than automatic distrust (or obedience) What Thomas Merton, Henri Nouwen, and Fr. James Martin have been teaching me about vocation, formation, and becoming who God created us to be Why Jesus’ hidden years matter when we think about human development, capacity, and vocation Why growing in holiness should actually produce more human diversity, not less How spiritual gifts give us language for function, contribution, motivation, and formation without becoming another identity label Why your Primary Motivational Gift™ should never become another costume you put on What self-knowledge is ultimately for: helping us surrender more honestly to God One of the questions underneath this entire episode is uncomfortable: Who am I when I am no longer trying to prove, protect, perform, or become somebody else? Psalm 139 reminds us that God already knows the person underneath all of it. So the invitation is to stop spending your valuable energy on manufacturing and mainatining a more acceptable version of yourself.  And then, to become increasingly willing to stand before God as the person who is actually there: gifts, desires, limitations, strengths, wounds, questions and unfinished places included. From there, we can ask Him:  What do You want to do with me?  How do You want me to grow?  And most importantly:  What is Your will? A question to carry with you: What have you added to yourself to feel safe, loved, respected, useful, or holy…and what have you hidden underneath the armor? Connect with Dr. Lee, TLC, & the High Responsibility Humans™ Community: Discover your Primary Motivational Gift: www.growinyourgifts.com Join Our High Responsibility Humans Community: https://regulatedroots.com/hrh Explore our Agency services: regulatedroots.com/agency Follow on TikTok: @leechelseacordell Connect on LinkedIn: Dr. Lee Cordell