Respond, Don’t React: What to Do When You Are Triggered

Press a button, and the coffee is there. Or: three pieces, coffee, water, on the stove, wait. Bernhard is drinking the second kind this morning. The waiting turns out to be the subject. FROM ROUTINE TO RESILIENCE Last episode was morning routines. Thanks to everyone who wrote in with theirs. Here is what the routine is actually for. “Morning routines help us to build up resilience. When we do that regularly, it’s like going to the gym. We build up a muscle, allowing us to deal better with stress.” “I always realize when I didn’t do my morning routine well enough, that not only my body reacts to it, but that my capability to react on stress is limited.” REACT OR RESPOND “We don’t want to react to stress. We want to respond to stress.” Resilience is the base. The trigger moments still come. Someone says something. Someone behaves a certain way. You know the feeling. Between the trigger and your answer you need what Bernhard calls a breaker. Something that interrupts the reflex and buys you the second in which a response becomes possible. THREE BREAKERS Feet. “When somebody triggers me, the first thing I think about are my feet. I feel my soles, and see how they connect to the floor.” Breathe out first. Not in. Out. Let the air go, let it flow back in, let it go again. Then answer. Something you can feel. An elastic band on the wrist, a small tug. Anything physical that pulls you out of the reflex. Pick one. It only works if it is already a habit by the time you need it. THE STRESS THAT CREEPS The dangerous kind is not the trigger. It is the slow accumulation. “It’s just these ten minutes more a day. This bit of work more, this bit of responsibility more, this bit of travelling more. And we all say: yeah, sure, I can do that, no problem. I’m strong.” Nobody notices, because by then it is just normal life. And it is the road to burnout. WHAT YOUR BODY TELLS YOU Sleep. How well, how long, how you wake. Rested looks like seven or eight uninterrupted hours and waking up energised. Nightmares, waking at three, waking very early with work already in your head, not being able to get out of bed: those are signals. Skin. Rashes that were not there before. Hair. Shedding that starts small and gets worse. “If you have these signs, it is more than time to address your stress levels. And it’s time to do a radical change.” Persistent physical symptoms are worth a doctor’s appointment, not only a coach’s. ON BEING STRONG “I think it’s one of the most ridiculous phrases we use for ourselves or in asking others to do something. Being strong doesn’t mean anything.” The better definition: understanding your body, and using mind, body and emotions in the combination that lets you thrive over a long period. It still allows a sprint. “But strong does not mean that your sprint becomes a marathon.” THE THREE TAKEAWAYS Build resilience with a daily routine. Five or ten minutes is plenty. Daily is the point. Find your breaker, so you respond instead of react. Listen to your body for the stress that piles up quietly. And today: a few minutes to be yourself. Look at a tree. A good coffee. A good conversation. LINKS: bernhardkerres.com | roleplays.ai #Stress #Resilience #Burnout #Leadership #Coaching #MorningRoutine