Crystal Paine Show

I am so thrilled to have frequent guest Sissy Goff back on the show today to talk about how to help kids cope with loss and recover from grief. The last few times I've had her in the studio, she has had David Thomas with her, but as much as I love David, it’s really nice to have her all to myself. She draws from her book Helping Kids Through Grief: A Parent's Guide for Making Sense of Death, Processing Loss, and Finding Hope, Sissy helps me tackle this topic and discusses how grief is one of those things that kids will obviously eventually experience, but that doesn’t make it any easier when we have to help them through it. Sissy draws from more than thirty years, and she shares why she wanted to create an accessible, practical resource for parents who are trying to help their children process loss via this book. The two of us discuss the different stages of grief, including denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance, and why grief doesn't follow a predictable timeline. Sissy explains what these stages can look like in children, how siblings may respond very differently to the same loss, and how we can recognize what's happening beneath their behavior. We also discuss the importance of giving children room to grieve at their own speed without forcing conversations, while still maintaining the boundaries and routines that help them feel safe. Sissy offers practical guidance on sharing our own emotions without making our children feel responsible for taking care of us, recognizing when they might need additional support, and approaching difficult questions with honesty and age-appropriate answers. One of my favorite parts of our conversation is Sissy's encouragement to be our children's most trusted source of information, especially when they're facing something frightening or confusing. We talk about how to prepare for difficult conversations, what to do when we don't have all the answers, and why helping children understand what's coming next can make such a huge difference! Perhaps most importantly, we discuss the hope that can emerge even after devastating loss. Grief doesn't simply disappear, but children can develop a deeper capacity for empathy, resilience, and compassion when they have someone safe and steady walking alongside them. I think this is a conversation every parent needs to hear! Enjoy my conversation with Sissy! In This Episode [0:33] - Welcome back to the show, Sissy Goff! [2:45] - I offer praise for Sissy’s book which helps parents break tragic news and take on their kids’ grief. [5:09] - Hear how denial protects children from overwhelming grief which unfolds differently for every child and has no fixed timeline. [7:45] - It’s important to remember that children process grief at their own pace, so parents should remain available without forcing conversations or emotions. [10:13] - Parents should gently encourage older children to attend funerals for closure but without forcing them to do so. [12:22] - We talk about how grieving kids need the security of clear boundaries and routines despite intense emotions. [15:18] - Parents should reassure grieving children that losses are not their fault and explain unpredictable emotions. [18:37] - I argue that parents should navigate their own grief while supporting their children's emotions without making them feel responsible for theirs. [20:47] - Sissy and I talk about how grieving parents should process emotions externally while reassuring children that they are safe and taken care of. [22:50] - Through grief, children can find hope, redemption, and a deep sense of empathy. [26:20] - Hear how grief can foster empathy via hardship, while manifesting outwardly as anger in boys and inwardly as anxiety in girls. [28:52] - Children's difficult behaviors might reflect underlying grief, requiring empathy, deeper conversations, and sometimes professional support. [31:06] - It’s important for parents to build trust by sharing age-appropriate truths, using clear language, and letting children guide difficult conversations. [34:25] - When children ask unexpected, difficult questions, parents should pause, buy time, and rely on foundational truths. [37:36] - Sissy and I discuss the importance of detailing immediate, practical next steps and using visual calendars. [40:33] - Sissy points out how post-traumatic growth can come from loss when kids have one safe, steady, supportive adult in their lives. Links & Resources Crystal Paine Books Helping Kids Through Grief: A Parent's Guide for Making Sense of Death, Processing Loss, and Finding Hope by Sissy Goff Social Media Crystal Paine on Instagram (@moneysavingmom) Crystal Paine on Instagram (@crystaliscleaning) Crystal Paine on LinkedIn Crystal Paine on Twitter Crystal Paine on Goodreads Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group [email protected] Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

We are doing something a little bit different for this episode of The Crystal Paine Show because Jesse is actually interviewing me! It is, after all, launch day for my sixth book, The 7 Habits of Financially Healthy Women, and we are spending this episode talking about the book itself, why I wrote it, and what I hope that it will do for women who want to feel more confident about their finances! I’ll be perfectly honest in that this was probably the book I struggled with the most. Even though I have spent more than two decades practicing financial discipline in our marriage, I had to work through a lot of insecurity about whether I was qualified to write about money. I have also always believed that I wasn’t good at math and worried about being asked questions about things like investing and retirement portfolios, but a conversation with a group of women business owners helped me realize that financial health isn’t just about numbers but is also about mindset, discipline, and habits - and those are things I know a thing or two about! Jesse and I talk about how this book differs from my first money book, why I wanted it to be practical and timeless, and how you can create a money plan that works for your personality and circumstances. There’s no single right way to manage your money - whether you love tracking every dollar in an app or would happily stick with cash envelopes. Regardless, the goal is to find what works for you and helps reduce stress rather than add to it. I also get into why I believe that we need to start by looking at where we are right now instead of telling ourselves all the reasons that we can’t make changes. I share how childhood experiences and negative beliefs about money can follow us into adulthood, influence our spending, and keep us feeling stuck, and I explain why asking ourselves why we’re making a purchase can reveal what’s really going on beneath the surface, and don’t worry - we get to the fun stuff, too! I share why a financial plan can actually make life more enjoyable, along with the creative ways to save money without always paying full price. My sincerest hope is that this book helps women let go of shame, build confidence, align their spending with their priorities, and become more intentional with their money - because when we stop believing we’re stuck and start taking small steps forward, we can create meaningful change for ourselves and the generations after us! Enjoy this interview... with me! In This Episode [1:21] - It's the launch day of my new book! [2:16] - Why did I choose a finance book for my final book? [5:08] - Financial health is about building healthy habits and discipline, not being good at math. [7:30] - I explain how the new book builds on past lessons while offering timeless financial principles that remain relevant despite changing tools and resources. [9:13] - The new book offers simple, practical financial habits for everyone, regardless of their circumstances. [11:20] - I discuss how to find a budgeting system that fits your personality - whether simple, detailed, or somewhere in between. [13:36] - Listen as I compare budgeting to running a race, demonstrating how a financial plan provides direction, accountability, and motivation to reach your goals. [16:04] - I encourage readers of the book to start where they are, challenge limiting money beliefs, and take small steps toward financial confidence. [18:28] - I challenge readers to unpack childhood money beliefs, discard unhealthy narratives, and recognize that they aren’t stuck. [20:28] - I encourage mindful spending by identifying emotional triggers and addressing the deeper reasons behind purchasing decisions. [23:11] - I really hope that this book empowers women to overcome financial shame, build confidence, spend intentionally, and give generously! Links & Resources Crystal Paine Books The 7 Habits of Financially Healthy Women: How to Stop Stressing, Begin Where You Are, and Build the Future You Want by Crystal Paine Crystal’s Previous 5 Books Social Media Crystal Paine on Instagram (@moneysavingmom) Crystal Paine on Instagram (@crystaliscleaning) Crystal Paine on LinkedIn Crystal Paine on Twitter Crystal Paine on Goodreads Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group [email protected] Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Have you ever walked into your house and felt overwhelmed by all the stuff staring back at you or felt guilty about the books that you haven’t read, the hobbies that you haven’t pursued, or the projects that you haven’t finished? If so, then this conversation is for you! I am so excited to have today’s guest in the studio again, especially since she was actually my first ever guest on this podcast! Listen in as I welcome Myquillyn Smith to The Crystal Paine Show. She is the author of House Hushing: The Simple Method to Declutter and Decorate for a More Peaceful Home, and I relate to SO much of what she shares in her book and in this episode! We talk about how our homes can become visually overwhelming without us even realizing it and how all that visual noise can leave us feeling exhausted instead of refreshed. With six kids and a baby in our care three days a week, I know what it’s like to have a gloriously full life, and I love the idea that our homes don’t have to add to the noise! Hear Myquillyn share her brilliant backwards decluttering method, which takes about twelve minutes and allows you to experience a room with less stuff before deciding what to keep or let go. We also talk about quiet decorating and how to make a space feel cozy without adding more clutter. We also explore soulful styling, or displaying sentimental items in ways that give them the attention they deserve, and creating boundaries around collecting things so that not everything competes for our attention. Plus, Myquillyn shares her approach to living seasonally, including how to evaluate what matters most in each season of life instead of feeling obligated to repeat traditions just because that’s what you’ve always done. This conversation gives me so much to think about, especially how our homes need to change as our families and lives change, and it will surely leave you thinking about this as well, so if you’re ready to create a more peaceful, welcoming home without feeling like you have to tackle everything at once, you won’t want to miss this episode! Also, don’t forget that my new book The 7 Habits of Financially Healthy Women comes out very soon on October 27th, so be sure to preorder yourself a copy to get yourself access to free goodies such as the money toolkit, resources for having conversations about finances with your spouse, and my five-lesson 5 Days to a Financially Healthier You course! In This Episode [0:36] - Welcome back to the podcast, Myquillyn Smith! [2:42] - Hear how Myquillyn helps women make their homes feel better so they can enjoy them and welcome others in. [4:25] - Too much visual clutter can quietly exhaust us, but we can change how our homes make us feel. [7:59] - Myquillyn recommends trying to hide distracting items behind closed doors or moving shelves to create a calmer, more restful space. [11:08] - I realize that my bookshelves are adding stress, and I wonder how to tackle clutter without unlimited time. [12:14] - Listen as MyQuillyn discusses what she calls “backwards decluttering.” [15:02] - Experience a decluttered room for 24 hours before deciding what belongs, making it easier to let go of excess. [17:49] - Myquillyn introduces the concept of “quiet decorating,” using color, contrast, texture, and scale to adjust a room’s visual volume. [19:18] - Myquillyn encourages us to add coziness without clutter via patterned drapes, textured rugs, and thoughtful contrast that changes a room’s visual feel. [21:57] - Myquillyn recommends slowly refreshing each room annually, listening to what your home and changing life need. [24:18] - Hear how hushing rooms creates a fresher feel and helps families display meaningful treasures without overwhelming visual clutter. [27:57] - Curio cabinets and designated spaces celebrate treasured collections while teaching that even special things need limits. [30:04] - Myquillyn suggests reviewing each season’s experiences, upcoming needs, and family plans before decorating or hosting. [32:17] - Choose three seasonal words to guide decisions about decorating, activities, purchases, and what truly matters! [34:03] - I share how family bucket lists make seasonal traditions more meaningful, flexible, and enjoyable for everyone! Links & Resources Crystal Paine The Crystal Paine Show - 12. How to Create a Home That Serves Your Family (with Myquillyn Smith) The Crystal Paine Show - 260. Simple Rules to Decorate Your Home No Matter Your Style or Budget (with Myquillyn Smith) Money Reset Toolkit 5 Days to a Financially Healthier You Books House Hushing: The Simple Method to Declutter and Decorate for a More Peaceful Home by Myquillyn Smith Social Media Crystal Paine on Instagram (@moneysavingmom) Crystal Paine on Instagram (@crystaliscleaning) Crystal Paine on LinkedIn Crystal Paine on Twitter Crystal Paine on Goodreads Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group [email protected] Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Listen in to this episode of The Crystal Paine Show as Jesse and I talk about something that I have been working on for a long time: my sixth book, The 7 Habits of Financially Healthy Women, which comes out very soon on October 27th! The release date was originally September 15th, so having it pushed back six weeks at the last minute has made for an interesting fall. Between running our business during its busiest season and suddenly having all these podcast interviews lined up, I have had plenty to keep me on my toes but I am so excited to finally share this book with you! I’m telling the story behind the book, including why I believe this may be my last one, what I learned from writing my very first book, and how this project became something completely different from my original idea. I wanted to create something more intentional than a collection of blog posts: a short, story-driven book that combines practical financial guidance with the personal experiences that shaped my approach to money, which includes lessons from my parents, the influence of my grandparents, and the legacy that they have left behind. I share stories that I haven’t told publicly before, along with some of the creative, outside-of-the-box ways my family learned to save money and build financial freedom. We also discuss what financial health actually means to me. It’s not about having a huge bank balance, owning a home, or being debt-free. It’s about finding peace and living intentionally with whatever resources you have. I want you to see how budgeting can help you spend on what matters to you, whether that’s a vacation, a concert, or a special dinner, without the guilt and/or stress. I am also sharing the resources available to help you put these ideas into practice, including my free five-day budget makeover and the exclusive bonuses that come with pre-ordering the book. We talk about the money toolkit, resources for having conversations about finances with your spouse, and my five-lesson 5 Days to a Financially Healthier You course. My hope is that you’ll walk away feeling encouraged, equipped, and confident that financial health is possible right where you are. You don’t have to have everything figured out to start making meaningful changes! I hope that you enjoy this episode, and please be sure to preorder a copy of the new book! In This Episode [0:35] - I explain how a last-minute six-week delay has complicated my upcoming book launch during my business’s busiest season. [3:28] - Discover why pre-orders are important to authors and how they can influence Amazon’s stocking and marketing decisions. [6:12] - I share the backstory of my upcoming sixth book and reflect on lessons learned from my first publishing experience. [9:38] - I describe how fifteen years of experience have shaped my goal of creating a more intentional, story-driven financial guide. [12:15] - I explain how family stories, my grandparents’ legacy, and practical money-saving lessons inspired this new book. [15:25] - The new book has an affordable paperback format and also has preorder bonuses! [17:52] - Readers who pre-order receive budgeting tools, spouse communication resources, and a comprehensive five-lesson financial wellness course. [20:08] - Listen as I reframe budgeting as aligning spending with priorities, helping people pursue financial peace without guilt or shame. [23:12] - I am offering preorder bonuses to library requesters, and I invite reader feedback and encourage preorders before the course’s January sale! Links & Resources Crystal Paine Money Reset Toolkit 5 Days to a Financially Healthier You Books The 7 Habits of Financially Healthy Women: How to Stop Stressing, Begin Where You Are, and Build the Future You Want by Crystal Paine Crystal’s Previous 5 Books Social Media Crystal Paine on Instagram (@moneysavingmom) Crystal Paine on Instagram (@crystaliscleaning) Crystal Paine on LinkedIn Crystal Paine on Twitter Crystal Paine on Goodreads Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group [email protected] Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

I am honestly truly honored to have Lysa TerKeurst joining me for this conversation! Lysa has been such a meaningful mentor in my life for many years, and in her new book, Making Peace With What I Can’t Control, she tackles something that I think so many of us wrestle with: the exhausting desire to fix, manage, and control the people and circumstances that we love. This conversation with Lysa helped me see control in a way that I hadn’t really considered before – sometimes, our struggle with control doesn’t come from wanting power; it comes from responsibility, capability, and care. We love people so deeply that we don’t want to watch them make choices that could hurt them, but there’s a difference between helping someone and trying to control their outcome, and Lysa explains how trying to rescue others can eventually lead to anxiety, exhaustion, and codependency. Listen in as we discuss parenting, including a story from my six-year-old’s first cross-country race that helped me understand the difference between supporting someone and controlling them. That conversation leads into something that has been especially significant in my own life: our desire to control how other people perceive us. We talk about approval, overthinking conversations, replaying what we said, and how a mistake can become a label we believe about ourselves. Lysa also opens up about some of the most painful seasons of her life, including betrayal, divorce, disappointment, and moments when she questioned whether she could truly trust God, and she opens up about what it means to hold onto faith when God doesn’t do what we thought He would do and why accepting reality isn’t the same thing as giving up. If you’re in a season in which you feel like you’re trying desperately to hold everything together, I really hope that this conversation feels like someone throwing you a rope and saying, “Just hold on for today!” You are not alone, and you don’t have to control the outcome to be okay. I hope that you enjoy my conversation with Lysa, and, as always, please feel free to reach out to me with any thoughts or questions! I would love to hear from you! In This Episode [0:36] - I am honored to have returning guest Lysa TerKeurst back on the podcast! [2:24] - Control issues often stem from caring deeply and taking responsibility, but those qualities can also cross boundaries. [4:25] - We talk about how trying to rescue loved ones from recurring irresponsibility can create codependency, anxiety, and loss of self-control. [7:54] - Supporting someone is different from controlling them, particularly when we trust God with the ultimate outcome. [10:32] - We discuss how seeking approval can lead to controlling others’ perceptions and unhealthy overanalysis. [11:20] - Hear how overthinking how others perceive us can destabilize relationships, whereas self-acceptance offers a healthier alternative. [13:52] - Healthy self-reflection addresses mistakes directly without allowing overthinking to become damaging self-labels. [16:36] - Trying to control outcomes often increases anxiety, especially when we struggle to trust God’s protection and goodness. [19:24] - Hear how Judas wanted a good outcome but tried to control God’s plan instead of trusting His greater purpose. [21:19] - We talk about trusting God’s wisdom rather than trying to manipulate outcomes we believe are best. [24:17] - Lysa encourages trusting God’s faithfulness even when difficult circumstances remain painful and incomprehensible. [26:07] - Drawing from her own painful betrayal, Lysa offers compassion without easy answers to those facing devastating circumstances. [28:22] - Lysa describes surviving profound heartbreak via healing, acceptance, faith, and the perseverance developed via suffering. [30:03] - Suffering, although painful, can foster healing, perseverance, maturity, and ultimately reveal God’s faithfulness and redemption. [32:50] - I describe Lysa’s books as lifelines for suffering people, offering encouragement, companionship, and hope through Jesus! Links & Resources Crystal Paine Focus on the Family The Crystal Paine Show - 188. Good Boundaries and Goodbyes (with Lysa TerKeurst) Books Making Peace with What I Can’t Control: Find Relief from the Exhaustion of Overthinking, Trying to Fix Others, and Wanting to Figure It All Out by Lysa TerKeurst Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food by Lysa TerKeurst Social Media Crystal Paine on Instagram (@moneysavingmom) Crystal Paine on Instagram (@crystaliscleaning) Crystal Paine on LinkedIn Crystal Paine on Twitter Crystal Paine on Goodreads Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group [email protected] Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands