309. How Falling in Love Turns Into Lasting Love w/ Kristy Scher

What if building a lasting relationship has less to do with falling in love and more to do with knowing yourself, choosing the right person, and learning how to love someone who is different from you? In this episode, I’m talking with relationship expert Kristy Scher about why we can’t rely on chemistry and the excitement of falling in love alone to build a lasting relationship, and how developing self-awareness and taking responsibility for our own behavior can change the way we show up in relationships. Kristy breaks down the difference between falling in love and mature love, why disillusionment is a necessary part of building intimacy, and how learning to tolerate discomfort and embrace our differences can help us create deeper, more connected relationships. We’re getting into how to... Find the right fit instead of getting swept up in the intensity of falling in love Understand the three essentials of a lasting partnership: love, lust, and like Move through disillusionment and build mature love Stay true to yourself while making room for your partner to be different Recognize how social media shapes our views of relationships and gender Understand how childhood experiences and personal wounds affect our relationships Take responsibility for your own behavior instead of focusing only on your partner’s flaws Appreciate your partner’s efforts while giving grace without dropping your standards Get comfortable with silence and stop feeling responsible for carrying every conversation Stop imagining a future with someone before you know them and learn to tolerate uncertainty in dating Plus, Kristy and I answer a dating dilemma from a 26-year-old man who wants a serious relationship but finds himself imagining a future with women before he even knows them. We talk about why the desire for connection can make us rush ahead, how to get curious about our own unmet needs, and why taking the time to discover whether someone is actually right for you matters more than simply finding someone who’s available. MENTIONED Kristy’s year-long program: The Way of the Adored Woman™ Kristy’s Instagram MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY Date Tracker: Start your 7-day free trial! (iOS link) Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating? Say hi on Instagram Book a 1:1 with me Submit a dating dilemma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.