My Dad Taught Me to Be Tough. Grief Broke Me | Jimmy Venia

Jimmy grew up believing his father didn't want him. Years later, he discovered a very different man. Anthony was an old-school Sicilian dad from the Bronx. Tough. Proud. Sometimes impossible. The kind of father who drove his son across New York every day for school but refused to bail him out when he landed in prison. Jimmy eventually understood his father's version of tough love. Then he watched the toughest man he'd ever known become vulnerable. After a series of strokes and heart problems, Jimmy found himself helping his father use the bathroom in a hospital. The man who taught him everything about strength suddenly looked defeated. Jimmy asked his dad to show him a different kind of toughness. On May 4, 2024, Anthony died. What followed wasn't a neat story about healing. There was family conflict, a funeral where Jimmy barely had room to grieve, and a year of drinking and drugs to numb the pain. For the first time in his life, Jimmy faced something he couldn't tough his way through. Eventually, he started grief counselling. He began journaling, talking to other men who'd lost their fathers, and learning to carry his grief instead of running from it. In this episode, we talk about: Growing up believing your father doesn't love you Tough love, prison, abandonment, and forgiveness Watching a once-invincible father become vulnerable The guilt and regret that follow losing your dad How alcohol and drugs can become a way to avoid grief What grief counselling and journaling can actually do Why men struggle to ask for help Keeping your father's memory alive through music, stories, and everyday rituals Jimmy's story is about father-son relationships, complicated family dynamics, addiction, masculinity, and learning that grief doesn't care how tough you think you are. It's also about Billy Joel, The Sopranos, a terrible Mercedes, and the strange little moments that make you feel close to your dad again. As Jimmy puts it: "That tough guy shit don't work." About Dead Dads Dead Dads is a podcast for men figuring out life after losing their dad. Hosted by Roger Nairn and Scott Cunningham, we have honest conversations about grief, father loss, masculinity, family, memory, and all the strange stuff that happens after your dad dies. No grief brochure voice. No tidy healing arc. Just real conversations about losing your father and figuring out what comes next. You're not alone. Content note: This episode includes discussion of addiction, substance use, and difficult family relationships. Support Dead Dads: https://buymeacoffee.com/deaddadspodcast Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/ Produced with support from JAR Podcast Solutions: https://jarpodcasts.com/