There was a DNR magnet on our fridge | Grief Support for Men

Jordan's dad rode 60km on an e-bike with a chemo bottle taped to the frame. Stage four cancer. Then one day the bike stayed in the garage. Jordan didn't fall apart. He felt… neutral. Then guilty for feeling neutral. This episode explores the quiet grief nobody talks about. The feeling that 30% of you disappears when your dad dies. You're still functioning, but you're running on less. If you've lost your dad and wondered why you're not more of a wreck, this one's for you. 🎧 In this episode: • Why feeling "neutral" doesn't mean something's wrong • The "deflated balloon" model of grief • Why guilt and anger show up in unexpected ways • Becoming the family patriarch overnight • Caring for a dying parent at home • Honouring your dad without forcing closure • Why the conversations you avoid today become the ones you miss tomorrow 👨‍👦 Meet Jordan and PJ PJ worked the mill, retired early, and spent his best years riding e-bikes, wearing Hawaiian shirts, and building things in his workshop. When cancer reached his liver, he kept riding. Jordan grew up watching a man who lived on his own terms, which is part of why grieving him has felt so quiet. ⏱️ Chapters 0:00 Neutral... and the guilt that follows 1:50 Why Jordan wanted to tell this story 4:50 Meet PJ 7:50 Riding through chemo 12:50 The deflated balloon 16:50 The hospital bed at home 22:00 The DNR magnet on the fridge 22:50 Becoming the patriarch 25:50 When anger arrives anyway 26:50 The Hawaiian shirts 29:00 "What do you want to be when you grow up?" 32:00 Riding 120km in PJ's honour 34:50 Have the conversations now 🖤 About Dead Dads Dead Dads is a podcast for men figuring out life after losing their dad. Hosted by Roger Nairn and Scott Cunningham, it's an honest conversation about grief, identity, family, memory, masculinity, and everything that changes after father loss. No grief brochure voice. No tidy healing arc. Just real conversations. You're not alone. ☕ Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/deaddadspodcast Follow Dead Dads: Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/ Spotify & Apple Podcasts: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/listen New episodes every week.