Do You Know That's Wrong?

Location tracking. Checking a partner’s phone. Constantly asking where they are and who they’re with. For some teenagers, controlling behaviour is becoming so normal they may not even recognise it as a red flag. Justin and Kylie share three simple questions sparked by Victorian Attorney-General Sonya Kilkenny’s conversation with her teenage son: Do you know that’s wrong? Do you know that’s a red flag? What do the girls think? They unpack consent, coercive control, rejection and the messages boys are absorbing about what it means to be a man. Most importantly, they explain why these conversations need to start long before our kids begin dating. KEY POINTS Why jealousy, phone checking and location tracking can be mistaken for love or devotion Three questions that help teenagers recognise controlling behaviour Why conversations about consent should start when children are young Teaching kids to trust the feeling that says, “I don’t like this” Helping boys understand that rejection should be met with grace How online culture and unhealthy models of masculinity can shape boys’ ideas about relationships Why healthy relationships should leave people feeling safer and stronger Keeping conversations open so kids come to you when something doesn’t feel right QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Healthy males help the people around them feel safer and stronger.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Boys: Building Strong Men From the Inside Out by Dr Justin Coulson Victorian Attorney-General Sonya Kilkenny’s comments about coercive control Happy Families school parent presentations ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Ask the three questions: When relationship behaviour comes up, ask, “Do you know that’s wrong?”, “Do you know that’s a red flag?” and “What does the other person think?” Start consent conversations early: Teach younger children that they can say no to unwanted affection, scary play or anything that makes them uncomfortable. Talk about what healthy masculinity looks like: Ask your child when they saw a boy or man help someone feel safer and stronger today. Talk about the opposite: Ask when they saw someone leave another person feeling smaller or weaker, then discuss what made the behaviour different. Keep talking: Make relationships, consent, pornography, online influences and red flags normal topics of conversation rather than one big awkward talk See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.