The Heart of Fundraising: Why Experts Prioritize Donor Relationships

In this episode of The First Day from The Fund Raising School, Bill Stanczykiewicz, Ed.D., is joined by Adrian Sargeant, Ph.D., co-director of the Institute for Sustainable Philanthropy and a pioneering researcher in donor relationships, stewardship, and fundraising, to explore what it really means when fundraisers say that fundraising is “all about relationships.” Drawing on decades of research, Sargeant explains how his own thinking about fundraising has evolved. Rather than viewing fundraising simply as raising money for a good cause, he now describes the profession as being responsible for “stewarding the human capacity to love.” That shift changes how fundraisers think about donor relationships, moving beyond traditional measures such as satisfaction, trust, and commitment toward three deeper dimensions: identity, well-being, and love. Sargeant begins with donor identity and the importance of understanding not merely why donors give, but who they believe themselves to be when they give. Simple surveys asking supporters for five words that describe themselves, and five words describing themselves as supporters of the organization, can reveal language that fundraisers can incorporate into communications. Instead of simply thanking someone for a “kind donation,” for example, an organization might thank the donor “for your kindness,” reinforcing the donor’s sense of identity and creating a warmer, more personal experience. Bill and Adrian also explore three elements of donor well-being: connection, autonomy, and competence. Donors may want to feel connected to beneficiaries, a particular community, an organization’s mission, a faith tradition, or even a beloved institutional brand. They also benefit from feeling that they exercised meaningful choice and personally helped make something happen. Finally, donors want to feel competent in expressing their care for others. Fundraising communications that intentionally reinforce these experiences can strengthen relationships while also producing measurable financial results. Those results can be substantial. Sargeant says that experiments incorporating identity and well-being into fundraising communications have often doubled campaign income after several rounds of testing. Even relatively simple changes in the language used to describe donors have produced increases in giving of more than 20 percent. The goal, however, is not manipulation. It is to communicate in ways that more accurately reflect who donors are, what they value, and how they want their philanthropy to feel. For organizations with limited staff and resources, Sargeant recommends starting with simple, practical steps. A short donor survey can become part of the stewardship process while generating valuable information about identity and preferred connections. Organizations can then use those insights to improve communications and segmentation: learning which beneficiaries, causes, or aspects of the mission individual donors most want to feel connected to. The approach does not require an enormous donor relations department, but it does require curiosity, intentionality, and support from organizational leadership. The central takeaway is that effective donor relationships begin with seeing donors as people rather than transactions. Philanthropy itself is rooted in the idea of “love for humankind,” and Sargeant’s research offers fundraisers practical, evidence-based ways to bring that idea into everyday stewardship. By understanding donor identity, strengthening well-being, and creating warmer, more personal communications, fundraisers can help supporters experience greater joy in giving while building the kind of relationships that lead to sustainable, lifelong philanthropy.