141 Days: Zero Contact — When the System Fails You: Rusty Myers

141 Days: Zero Contact — When the System Fails You What happens when you’ve given decades of your life to law enforcement—and suddenly the system you trusted goes silent? Deputy Chief Rusty Myers spent 31 years in law enforcement, serving as a patrol officer, supervisor, training commander, internal affairs investigator, and leader. He understood accountability. He understood investigations. In fact, he believed strongly that Internal Affairs should protect both the integrity of the profession and the officers who serve within it. Then he became the one under investigation. After an incident involving another officer, Rusty was placed on administrative leave. He believed the facts—and his own body-camera footage—would quickly resolve the situation. Instead, he went 141 days with zero contact from his department unless he initiated it himself. The phone stopped ringing. Text messages went unanswered. He was isolated from the profession and the people who had been at the center of his life for decades. Eventually, he lost his job. And somewhere along the way, Rusty began losing himself. In this episode of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, Rusty tells the deeply personal story of an investigation that stretched into a nearly two-year battle to clear his name. But this conversation isn't primarily about proving who was right or wrong. It's about what happened to the human being caught inside the process. Rusty describes what he calls “the loop”—his mind endlessly replaying what had happened. He talks candidly about using alcohol to temporarily shut that loop off, the accumulated trauma from decades of police work that came rushing back, and the moment he realized he was checking every box on the suicide-awareness checklist he had once taught to other officers. Including the last one: He had a plan. His wife finally told him he needed help. That intervention began a journey through counseling, EMDR, faith, family, friendship, and ultimately back into law enforcement leadership. Today, Rusty is a deputy chief overseeing patrol, training, and Internal Affairs—and he's using what happened to him to change how officers are treated when they find themselves under investigation. Because accountability and compassion are not mutually exclusive. An officer may need to be removed from duty while an investigation takes place. But that doesn't mean the agency has to remove the human connection. Sometimes a phone call that simply says, “Nothing changed this week. I just wanted to check on you. Are you doing okay?” can matter more than leaders realize. In This Episode Rusty and I talk about leadership and why FTOs and frontline supervisors have such an enormous influence on agency culture; how Internal Affairs can maintain accountability without creating unnecessary fear; what prolonged investigations and administrative leave can do to an officer psychologically; why communication must continue even when leaders can't discuss the details of a case; how accumulated trauma can remain hidden until one major event breaks everything open; Rusty's journey to recognizing his own suicidal thinking and getting professional help; and why peer support needs to become part of how agencies operate—not simply a program sitting on the sidelines. We also talk about Rusty's book, Tattered: When the Blue Line Frays, and why he wrote it for the officer sitting alone wondering whether there's any way forward. One of the most important things Rusty learned is that although his leadership failed him, the entire blue line didn't. Friends showed up. His wife stood beside him. A former police officer who became his pastor walked with him. A counselor helped him unpack years of accumulated trauma. Other officers quietly kept an eye on him when he couldn't take care of himself. The line frayed. It didn't break. And Rusty's message to the officer struggling today is simple: The sun will rise tomorrow. You need to be there to see it. Connect With Rusty Book: Tattered: When the Blue Line Frays by Arthur W. Myers III Website: rusty-myers.com Rusty makes an extraordinary offer in this conversation: if you're an officer who needs the book but can't afford it, contact him. He'll find a way to get a copy into your hands. He didn't write the book to make money. He wrote it to save lives. If you or another first responder is struggling, don't fight that battle alone. Reach out to someone you trust, your peer-support team, a culturally competent mental-health professional, or a crisis resource. Asking for help may be the most important decision you make.   +++++   Need Help? We have a list of resources at www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/ Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact [email protected] Web site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.