The Grief and Hope of Living with Stage 4 Breast Cancer | Lindsy Matthews

How can hope and heartbreak can coexist? And what does that look like when navigating stage 4 breast cancer? Nina Rodriguez talks with Lindsy Matthews, a coach, mother, and public speaking instructor at the University of Toronto School of Continuing Studies.  After a stage 2 breast cancer diagnosis in 2018, Lindsy was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in 2022. Now living with what is currently an incurable illness and an uncertain future, she describes her life as really good, even when it feels really hard. Lindsy calls this "the split screen life," where hope and heartache coexist.  Together, she and Nina explore anticipatory grief, the experience of grieving a future you thought you would have while still living your life.  They also discuss what to say (and what not to say) to someone living with chronic illness, how to tell loved ones what you need, how Lindsy talks honestly with her children, finding your "new 100%," and episodic future thinking.  Nina also names the pain versus suffering distinction where the diagnosis is the pain, and how we communicate and what we choose to believe is where we have agency. This is a conversation about uncertainty, difficult emotions, and making room for both what hurts and what remains possible. WE EXPLORE: What is anticipatory grief? Anticipatory grief is grief that arrives before a loss does, often linked to a serious diagnosis or an uncertain future. Host Nina Rodriguez and guest Lindsy Matthews describe it as grieving the life you thought you would have while still holding on to hope. Is there such a thing as "false hope"? Lindsy says no. After hard conversations with her care team, she concluded that despair can lead people to stop trying, pull away from others, and neglect themselves. Hope, in her experience, helps people keep going, spend time with loved ones, and try new options. How can I support a friend with a serious illness? Lindsy recommends listening, following their lead, and staying open to honest conversations about the future. She says phrases like “don’t say that” can signal that you cannot handle the truth. She also encourages the person who is ill to tell loved ones exactly what they need. How can I be more present when I am afraid of the future? Lindsydescribes borrowing perspective from the future, which Nina Rodriguez calls episodic future thinking. A guided meditation helped her picture her daughter holding a baby, and it changed how she lived in the present. She also gives worry a 15-minute limit. CONNECT WITH LINDSY MATTHEWS: Watch Lindsy’s Keynotes Explore Lindsy’s public speaking courses Follow Lindsy on Instagram Content note: This episode speaks openly about sensitive topics. Honor your own capacity as you listen. This conversation is educational and is not medical advice. Send us Fan Mail Support the show Grief and Light™ is an award-winning, independent podcast exploring the honest, messy, and deeply human experience of loss. We’re on a mission to foster a more grief-informed, hopeful world, one conversation at a time. At the heart of the show is one belief: to grieve fully is to live fully. Subscribe to our newsletter here. 🏆 Ear Worthy Best Life Lessons 2026 · TalkDeath Readers’ Choice Best Podcast 2025 · 2x Women Who Podcast Awards Winner · Podground Editor’s Pick Follow Grief and Light™ wherever you watch or listen. Connect with Nina Rodriguez: griefandlight.com @griefandlight Resting Grief Face on Substack Thank you for listening! DISCLAIMER: Grief and Light™ is an independent podcast hosted by a grief-informed guide, not a licensed therapist, doctor, or attorney. Nothing shared here is intended as therapy, medical advice, or legal counsel. Please seek qualified professional support when needed. Disclaimer: griefandlight.com/safetyanddisclaimers