How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Toni Laites made history last year as the first American to win Love Island, but her journey to the villa was anything but ordinary. Discovered in Las Vegas working as a cabana girl by the show’s creative director, Toni was persuaded to fly 6,000 miles to Mallorca. The rest, as they say, is history. But you don’t need to be a Love Island superfan to love this episode. Toni is funny, emotionally intelligent and disarmingly honest. She opens up about living with the chronic illness Ulcerative Colitis, her pattern of choosing the wrong men in the past, working through anxious attachment and the hard-won strength it takes to forgive yourself. This is a conversation about resilience, self-awareness and what it really means to back yourself - even when the odds (and the public vote) are against you. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 03:18 Vegas Sales to Villa Casting 05:36 Saying Yes to Love Island 07:21 Life Inside the Villa 08:33 Votes, Outcasts and Forgiveness 10:57 The Big Three Friendship 14:18 Health Scare and Ulcerative Colitis 28:10 Tourist In London 28:43 Toxic Dating Patterns 32:22 Pressure On Her Relationship 34:57 Fame And Social Media 37:34 Family And Attachment 44:28 Self Criticism And Hate 49:44 Plan For The Future 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: There is value in doing nothing and taking a step back and waiting for good things to come. I always say not all disabilities are visible and people don't really understand what that's like. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Olivia Attwood - on heartbreak, public scrutiny and building a successful career after Love Island. Jessel Taank - on infertility, identity and The Real Housewives of New York. 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Toni answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ambition can be a powerful force: it propels us forward, sharpens our focus and pushes us to dream bigger. But it can also whisper that we are only as good as our latest achievement - and these two brilliant former How to Fail guests explore what it really means to live a driven life. Gillian Anderson reflects on her lifelong drive to prove herself, the guilt she feels when stepping back from work and the tension between motherhood and a demanding career. Munroe Bergdorf shares how rejection and gatekeeping in fashion shaped her ambition. Once treated as a token gesture, she has become a leading voice for representation, speaking openly about resilience, self‑worth and creating space for others to follow. An episode about striving and self‑belief – and about whether ambition truly supports us, or whether we end up chasing it at our own expense. Listen to Gillian’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/7NyZMzkfVOpGyDtlB6k0 Listen to Munroe’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/tu153m3gHYreWBZSrcY1 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday Website: www.elizabethday.org Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Few filmmakers have a style as bold, romantic and unmistakable as Baz Luhrmann. From his breakout debut Strictly Ballroom to the glittering spectacle of The Great Gatsby starring Leonardo DiCaprio, and the fever-dream energy of Elvis, Luhrmann has built a career on transforming familiar stories into cinematic events. In this episode, he takes us inside one of his most iconic creative decisions: the unforgettable fish tank scene in his 1996 adaptation of Romeo + Juliet - and reveals how that moment came to life. We also explore his latest project, EPiC: Elvis Presley in Concert, a return to Elvis Presley through newly uncovered footage from the legendary Las Vegas residency. Beyond the films, Luhrmann reflects on the journey that shaped him. Raised in Herons Creek, a tiny rural town in New South Wales, Australia, he grew up surrounded by performance and storytelling: his father ran a quirky petrol station and cinema, while his mother owned a dress shop and taught ballroom dancing. We discuss the setbacks that tested him, his unconventional audition process, his enduring creative partnership with his wife and the viral TikTok moment that sent the internet into a frenzy. I hope you enjoy this candid, wide-ranging conversation with one of modern cinema’s great showmen. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 02:28 Creativity as Self‑Medication 05:52 Why Elvis? 09:22 The Romeo + Juliet Fish Tank Origin Story 11:01 Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen: The Accidental Hit 13:56 Failure #1: Losing Instincts, Depression and Finding the Way Back 26:16 Casting Without Auditions: Baz’s Workshop Method 27:58 Creating a Fear-Free Room 28:47 The Big Break That Became a Public Flop 30:56 Rebounding with Strictly Ballroom 32:19 Choosing Collaborators 33:36 Marriage and Deep Trust 35:42 Criticism and Staying Humble (Plus the Viral TikTok Moment) 40:38 Future-Focused Filmmaking & Final Reflections 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: I see my job as keeping fear out of the room. I take the fear on in the morning when I get up. I was embarrassed about being this geek from a small country town... I was ashamed that I liked people - and that just didn't seem cool enough. I always made my films for the future, not to be sort of hip in the moment... I want them to have a universality and I want them to move through time and space. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: EPiC: Elvis Presley in Concert is in cinemas now THAT TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@god_worthy/video/7374740069866884368?lang=en Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Stanley Tucci - On grief, cancer…and failing to swim swap.fm/l/WCW054IGNZnSnTzEXPTN Phoebe Waller-Bridge - On creative risk-taking, ambition and what happens after a cultural phenomenon like Fleabag swap.fm/l/gTCOCJUmXX9t22mTABSa 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Baz answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome back to this How to Fail special where we revisit conversations from the archive to highlight particular themes and tap into the wisdom they contain. This week we look at two guests who have learned self acceptance: first, we hear from actress and global icon Pamela Anderson. She reflects on the toll that being in the public eye had on her body image and the long road to self-acceptance. Rylan Clark then takes us back to his childhood, where he opens up about growing up feeling different, navigating his sexuality and surviving bullying, which left him with a fractured skull. Rylan’s resilience is a reminder that truly owning who we are not only empowers us, but also shapes the individuals we are meant to become. I hope this episode provides understanding, solidarity and light to anyone who may be struggling or supporting someone they love. Listen to Pamela Anderson’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/zmy4u62s9lEvccugjBY6 Listen to Rylan Clark’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/GHulEMW6rrAc9o5qEv5O 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Self Esteem Guidance: www.supportline.org.uk/problems/self-esteem-and-self-confidence Mental Health Charity: www.mind.org.uk Elizabeth’s Substack: theelizabethday.substack.com Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday Website: www.elizabethday.org Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode includes discussion of eating disorders, including anorexia and bulimia. Listener discretion advised. This might be one of the most powerful conversations I’ve ever had on How To Fail. I don’t say that lightly - I’ve had some amazing guests - but there’s something about how Jennette puts the female experience into words that I find truly electrifying. Raised Mormon in Orange County, Jennette had a difficult, abusive childhood which she chronicled with unflinching honesty in her 2022 memoir, I’m Glad My Mom Died - a book that spent more than 90 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. Her new novel, Half His Age, follows 17-year-old Waldo as she embarks on an affair with her 40-year-old creative writing teacher. It’s a startling, powerful story about discomfort, agency and self-determination and it became a Sunday Times Number One bestseller in its first week! In this episode, we talk about her upbringing, her experience of disordered eating, the writing process and the grounding partner she’s been with for nine years (who I was lucky enough to meet). Plus: setting boundaries, finding your voice, rage, recovery and autonomy. Recorded in our London studio. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 03:27 Speaking Up and Setting Boundaries 04:15 Reception of 'Half His Age' 07:22 Exploring Mormonism and Guilt 14:36 Failures and Creative Process 30:09 Calorie Restriction Lessons from My Mother 30:58 First Encounter with Anorexia 32:45 The Turning Point: Mother's Death and Recovery 32:58 Struggles with Bulimia 35:41 Therapy and the Road to Recovery 36:47 Understanding the Value of Eating Disorders 38:59 Healing Through Relationships 42:58 Finding My Voice and Inner Peace 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: I think oftentimes a woman is perceived as difficult if the person around her can't meet her standards. It’s time that women start speaking up in any capacity - and not worrying about being 'too much'. There is nothing more powerful than a woman's intuition. I believe our bodies have inherent knowledge... denying our bodies is nothing but a disservice to a better life path for ourselves. If you feel resentment, it's time to set a boundary. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Jennette’s new book Half His Age is available to buy now Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Dolly Alderton – writing personal truth and navigating public scrutiny swap.fm/l/XM98joc3GFEMTsLfkEfR Matt Haig – mental health and transforming suffering into storytelling swap.fm/l/amHeyBr7x2jg3Isw3JxG Jameela Jamil – body image, disordered eating and unlearning harmful conditioning swap.fm/l/D0j8oJQ52OwiJu6W3T4o 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Jennette (who is a naturally brilliant agony aunt) answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices