Unlearning the Love You Were Taught to Want

Heather Orr and her partner had spent six months asking each other whether their relationship was worth fighting for. She asked if they could start therapy. He said they were fine the way they were. That was her answer. In this episode, Mehak sits down with Heather Orr, a lawyer, activist, and creator known online as @hope_peddler, to ask: how much of what we want in love is actually what we want, and how much is the life we were taught to want? Heather explains why, as a lawyer, she will never let a court have a say in her romantic life, why she thinks most of the centering of men happens once couples move in together, and why she hasn't dated in four years. She and Mehak get into patriarchy vs. matriarchy, whether women are naturally more egalitarian or just socialized that way, and Heather's theory that hetero relationships are where women's life force gets handed over. Mehak doesn't agree with everything, and that's the point. They land somewhere hopeful: after all this deconstruction, could we be headed for a love renaissance? Follow Heather @hope_peddler on Instagram and @hope_peddler on TikTok. Hosted by: Mehak @whathemehak on TikTok | @whathemehak_ on IG Credits: Producer: Shei Yu | Content Writer: Mehak | Sound Designer & Editor: Lou Raskin | Love-ly Theme Music: Lou Raskin | Other Music: Epidemic Sound | Cover Art: Josephine Chai | Executive Producer: Saadia Khan Subscribe & Listen to Love-ly on Apple Podcasts — $3.99/month or $34.99/year for ad-free episodes and more. Leave a Review: If you enjoy the show, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts & Spotify — it helps more people find us. 🔗 Subscribe to Hyphenly, our new newsletter with hot takes, heartfelt stories, and all the feels of living in between cultures. Come for the nuance, stay for the vibes. 💌 Share your thoughts: [email protected] Follow Us: 📸 @lovelythepod on IG | @immigrantly on TikTok Love-ly is an Immigrantly Media Production. For advertising inquiries, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices