Vulnerability Does Not Make You Less of a Man

Men are often comfortable fixing things we can see. We can clean up a mess, repair something that is broken, finish a project, and stand back afterward knowing exactly what we accomplished. Emotional work is different. In this episode of The Men's Mental Health Series, my buddy Nick joins me for a conversation that starts with a simple analogy. While doing a dirty, uncomfortable job at work that he had been putting off, Nick realized how similar it felt to some of the emotional work we avoid. We may know something needs our attention, but when we cannot see the problem or measure the progress in front of us, figuring out where to begin can be much harder. From there, we get into what happens when men who are used to being the person everyone else relies on suddenly do not know how to fix what is happening inside themselves. We talk about the feeling of failure that can come with needing help, how difficult it can be to find the right words for an emotion, and why anger can sometimes become the easiest outward expression for feelings like fear, sadness, frustration, grief, anxiety, or overwhelm. Nick shares how conversations with his wife, friends, and other men have helped him better understand what he is feeling. We also talk about how emotional conversations between men do not have to completely change the dynamic of a friendship. Sometimes it is ten minutes of openness in the middle of an entire weekend of joking around, camping, and being yourself. That small conversation can still matter. One of the biggest ideas we come back to is that opening up did not leave Nick feeling like less of a man. The fear that it might happen was often stronger than what actually happened once the conversation began. We also discuss the importance of emotional safety, having people around you who can listen while you work through something without expecting you to explain it perfectly, and recognizing when a relationship may not provide that kind of space. Finally, Nick shares what he has seen within the Australian construction industry, where mental health initiatives and recognizable work shirts can signal that someone is willing to have a conversation. It is a small visual cue, but it can help create an opening for conversations that many men still struggle to start. None of us completely figure this out. We keep learning the language. We keep practicing the conversations. We keep getting a little more comfortable sitting with emotions that we may have spent most of our lives avoiding. And sometimes simply knowing that another guy is willing to listen is where it starts. Mental Health Support If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis in the United States, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If there is an immediate life-threatening emergency, call 911. In Australia, Lifeline is available 24 hours a day at 13 11 14. If there is an immediate emergency, call 000. If you are elsewhere, contact your local emergency services or a crisis support service in your country.