Who Deserves Access to the Deeper Parts of You?

Get the Journal Prompts: https://yourlevelfitness.com/men-email What would it take for you to feel emotionally safe with somebody? For some of us, even the phrase emotional safety can feel uncomfortable. But in this episode of The Men’s Mental Health Series, I talk about what it can mean to feel at ease with another person, to trust them enough to go beyond surface level, and to decide what level of access different people should have to you. I think we are all layered. Not everybody deserves access to every layer. Some people might only know the surface version of you. Some people may get a little deeper. And a very small number of people may know the parts of you that carry pain, fear, regret, vulnerability, and the experiences that shaped you. That kind of access requires trust. And trust can be incredibly difficult when you have been hurt. A lot of men have experienced situations where opening up did not feel safe. Maybe something you shared was later used against you. Maybe you were hurt by a family member, a friend, a romantic partner, or somebody else you trusted. Maybe you have experienced abuse. And I think it is important to acknowledge that men can be abused too. If something happened to you and you experienced it as abuse, your experience matters. You do not need somebody else to minimize it or decide what you were allowed to feel about it. Working through those experiences can take time. It can bring up anger, sadness, frustration, shame, fear, and a lot of other emotions we were never taught how to handle. That is why I think patience matters. Patience with yourself. Patience with people who genuinely care about you. And patience with the process of figuring out who deserves deeper access to you and who does not. You can forgive somebody and still have boundaries. You can care about somebody and still hold them accountable. You can acknowledge that people disappoint each other without excusing harmful behavior. There is a lot of nuance here. That is also why I continue encouraging productive work with a therapist or counselor who is the right fit for you. These conversations with the people closest to us matter, but simply being understood is not always enough to work through everything we have experienced. So think about this today. What does emotional safety look like for you? Who makes you feel like you can actually relax and be yourself? Who has earned deeper access to you? And where might you need stronger boundaries? These are hard conversations. But they can also help us build deeper, healthier relationships with ourselves and with the people who truly matter to us. Mental Health Support If you are in the United States and are experiencing a mental health crisis or need immediate support, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you are outside the United States, you can find crisis and emotional support resources in your country at findahelpline.com. Disclaimer: The Men’s Mental Health Series shares personal experiences, conversations, and general information related to mental and emotional health. I am not a licensed mental health professional, and this podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, treatment, or emergency services. If you are struggling, please consider reaching out to a qualified mental health professional or an appropriate crisis resource in your area.