Midlife Transition and Self Honesty: Stephen Keys on Finding Your Values (S4 EP11)

Connect With Jody Your calendar tells you what you actually value. It does not care what you would like to value. What parts of you haven’t met each other yet? Stephen Keys shares how that question helped him reflect on his work, creativity, family and community. He talks about divorce, loneliness, volunteering and using a calendar audit to see whether daily life reflects your values. The conversation also touches on suicidal ideation and self-harm, poor mental health, homelessness, addiction and bereavement. My guest today is Stephen Keys. Stephen and I are the same age, both Gen X. He lives in Singapore, splitting his time between Singapore, London and Sydney. He is the co-founder of The Wisdom Vault, the host of The Giving Habit podcast, and the chair of the IFS Foundation, working with schools in Sri Lanka for around seven years. He is also a Willing Hearts volunteer in Singapore, a Senior Director of Corporate Affairs at The Majurity Trust, all of which he will tell you about in his own voice. In this episode Stephen walks me through the questioning that led to a divorce roughly 13 years ago, and, without characterising anyone else in it, the loneliness that came after and the two children he could not see on other people's weekends, who are now 25 and 20 and living in Sydney. He tells the story of the small, selfish act of volunteering that quietly began to save him, and how that act became a habit, then a charity, then a life. His own word for where he has landed is integrated. What you'll learn Learn Stephen’s Calendar Audit: compare what you say matters with what your recent calendar shows you make time for. Hear how volunteering to ease his own loneliness helped Stephen discover the importance of community and service. Consider how work, creativity and other parts of life can come together in a way that feels more honest and integrated. Content notice, this conversation touches suicidal ideation and self-harm, an admission I make in the interview about a moment in my own life, loneliness and poor mental health, marital breakdown, homelessness and addiction in the communities the IFS Foundation works with, children at risk, and bereavement. If any of that is heavier than you can hold today, please look after yourself and come back to it. The support lines below are open right now. Stephen then teaches the Calendar Audit, in his own voice, and this is Week 4's tool. On Friday I close the season with a solo, EP12, our finale. One-to One Coaching With Jody Book a FREE call with Jody and see if coaching could be how you move to the life you deserve Be A Guest On The Show If you have a story you want to share on the Messy Mildlife, get in touch through PodMatch Book Jody As A Guest On Your Show You can book Jody on your show through PodMatch Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. Follow the show on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.  Join The Free Community https://messymidlifepodcast.world/join New episodes every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  Find Jody: https://authenticcoaching.me  Podcast: https://messymidlifepodcast.world  Instagram: @messymidlife_podcast and @the_authenticcoach  Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Authentic-Coaching Want to sponsor the show or partner with Messy Midlife? Email [email protected] Loved this episode? A quick Apple review takes 30 seconds and helps someone else find the show. © 2026 Messy Midlife: It’s Not A Crisis, It’s A Calling to Connect.