Midlife Honesty: Why Safe People Can Feel Wrong When You're Used to Chaos (S4 EP8)

Connect With Jody Chemistry is not always chemistry. Sometimes it is familiarity, wearing chemistry's coat. Why safe people can feel wrong is one of the most honest questions I know for anyone who has ever been baffled by their own choices. My guest today, Anu Verma, once said to a man who was, in her own words, actually probably a really good match for her, I do not feel any chemistry with you. And then, in a later conversation with herself, she asked the sentence that changed her life. What if what I keep calling chemistry is just familiarity. What if I do not know what safe feels like yet. My guest today is Anu Verma. Anu is a trauma recovery coach, author of Victim 2 Victor, host of the Victim 2 Victor podcast, and filmmaker behind Silent Screams. She lives in Coventry with her partner and two children. Her professional home is victim2victor.net. Before we go any further, please look after yourself. This is the heaviest guest hour of Season 4, by a margin, and I am going to hold you carefully. Anu has been extraordinarily generous with what she has shared. If any of it is heavier than you can hold today, come back to it. The support lines are named below and read at the top of the episode. Anu tells us, in her own careful way, the shape of the childhood silence, the years of numbing, the balcony in Gran Canaria at 21, and the reframe that shifted everything: from what is wrong with me to what happened to me. She then walks us into the work she now does, and the sentence I have not put down since: one person just needs to believe you. On Friday I take one edge of this conversation into the solo, on how to say the hard thing out loud to one person. I use only the threads Anu has cleared. Nothing else. One-to One Coaching With Jody Book a FREE call with Jody and see if coaching could be how you move to the life you deserve Be A Guest On The Show If you have a story you want to share on the Messy Mildlife, get in touch through PodMatch Book Jody As A Guest On Your Show You can book Jody on your show through PodMatch Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. Follow the show on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.  Join The Free Community https://messymidlifepodcast.world/join New episodes every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  Find Jody: https://authenticcoaching.me  Podcast: https://messymidlifepodcast.world  Instagram: @messymidlife_podcast and @the_authenticcoach  Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Authentic-Coaching Want to sponsor the show or partner with Messy Midlife? Email [email protected] Loved this episode? A quick Apple review takes 30 seconds and helps someone else find the show. © 2026 Messy Midlife: It’s Not A Crisis, It’s A Calling to Connect.