279. “He lost his $150k job, but I make every decision - can we fix this?”

Ramit unpacks how to manage money as a couple after a job loss and what happens when one partner carries most of the financial responsibility while the other starts stepping back. Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You to Be Rich talks with Isabelle and Ryan, 37 and 40, who have been married for 12 years and have a four-year-old daughter. After Ryan was laid off from his $150,000 software engineering job, Isabelle became the sole earner. They have around $1.2 million in assets and an $800,000 net worth, but two mortgages and fixed costs at 83% of their income have left them trying to figure out how to manage their money on one income. Their biggest challenge isn’t simply how to budget or save money. Isabelle manages most of their financial planning and decision-making, while Ryan struggles with money anxiety, guilt around spending, and feeling shut down when he tries to get involved. Ramit helps them understand how childhood scarcity shaped their relationship with money, how to communicate about finances without falling into a parent-child dynamic, and how reducing their fixed expenses could give them more freedom to actually enjoy the money they’ve built. In this episode, we uncover: How to manage money as a couple after a job loss How to budget on one income without letting financial anxiety take over Why Isabelle feels exhausted managing their financial future Why Ryan feels guilty spending money despite their $800K net worth How a $3,000 espresso machine exposes his money anxiety Why their fixed costs have reached 83% of their income How two mortgages are putting pressure on their monthly budget How childhood scarcity shaped their relationship with money Why their dynamic has started to feel like a parent-child relationship How clear money rules and lower fixed expenses could help them become a team Chapters: (00:00) Introduction (02:00) Why Isabelle feels responsible for their financial future (04:00) The purchase that exposes Ryan’s money anxiety (09:50) How losing his $150K job changed their roles (39:00) Ramit opens up their numbers (48:00) Why they’re paying two mortgages (01:04:00) How childhood scarcity shaped their money dynamic (01:23:00) The parent-child dynamic they’ve fallen into (01:38:00) Ryan and Isabelle make a new financial plan (02:07:00) Follow-ups 💡 RAMIT’S PODCAST NEWSLETTER • I share new ways to think about money every Saturday. Get the emails here: https://iwt.com/podcastnewsletter 🙌 GET HELP FROM RAMIT SETHI • Order my new book: Money for Couples: https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples • Take control of your money with the Conscious Spending Plan: https://iwt.com/csp • Optimize your credit cards with the 1st chapter of my book: https://iwt.com/chapter1-pod • Join my Rich Life: Road to $100K program: https://iwt.com/100k • Listen to my book — now on Audible: https://amzn.to/48zko28 🤳 CONNECT WITH RAMIT SETHI • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ramit/ • X: https://twitter.com/ramit ✅ SUBSCRIBE SO YOU DON’T MISS ANY EPISODES https://youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured/ This episode is brought to you by: ZocDoc | Taking care of your health just got easier – start here with Zocdoc: https://zocdoc.com/RAMIT #sponsored ElevenLabs | If you run a business or handle customer operations across support, sales, or marketing, start with a demo at https://elevenlabs.io/ramit Granola | Try Granola totally free at https://granola.ai/RAMIT. Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 25% off mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners Facet | As of the date of this recording, Facet is waiving the enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer has been extended to 12/31/2026. #FacetAd Connect with Ramit: Get my new book, Money For Couples Get Money Coaching with Ramit Download the Conscious Spending Plan Listen to my book—now on Audible Get my New York Times best-selling book Get my no-numbers journal Other episodes Instagram Twitter YouTube Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply