One Degree Marriage: Christ-Centered Communication & Habits

Feeling more like roommates than teammates lately? Or maybe things are good, but you know there’s room to go deeper. In this replay of one of our most popular episodes (a rare solo one, since it’s just Xan this time), we walk through 7 practical habits that deeply connected couples actually practice. You don’t have to do all seven. Pick one or two to start this week and watch how those small, one-degree shifts add up. These habits aren’t a checklist to crush. Our hope is that they encourage you to seek the Lord more deeply first, and then to seek deeper connection with your spouse. Resources mentioned: Free Weekly Marriage Meeting Template: onedegreemarriage.com/meeting Weekly Marriage Meeting Journal: onedegreemarriage.com If this episode encouraged you, share it with a couple who might need it, and subscribe so you never miss a one-degree shift.

Most husbands have heard that they are the head of the home. Far fewer have been told what kind of head they are supposed to be, and that gap is where a lot of quiet disconnection in a marriage starts. This week we sit down with Ephesians 5 and read it slowly, starting back at verse 18 where the whole thing is anchored: be filled with the Spirit. From there we work through what Paul actually asks of husbands, and it is not enforcement. Paul never tells a husband to make sure his wife submits. He spends three verses on wives and nine on husbands, and every one of those nine points the same direction: sacrificial love, modeled on a Jesus who washed feet and went to the cross. We look at what headship is not, four specific things Ephesians 5 asks husbands to do, and what all of it looks like on an ordinary Tuesday when nobody is watching. We also get honest about our own house, including where each of us is most tempted to lead by control instead of by serving. If you listened to last week's episode on what Ephesians 5 asks of wives, this is the other half of that conversation.

This week we're bringing back one of our most popular episodes ever. If you're new here, welcome! And if you heard it the first time around, we think it's worth a second listen. What does it really mean for wives to "submit" to their husbands in Ephesians 5? Few verses about marriage cause more tension, confusion, or quiet eye rolls. Is submission blind obedience? Does it mean tolerating sin or abuse? Is it outdated or oppressive? Or is it something deeper, and actually freeing? In this episode, we unpack what the Bible really says about being a godly wife, how submission and respect play out in real life, and why this passage makes no sense unless you read it alongside Christ's call for husbands to love sacrificially. In this episode, we cover: What biblical submission is not Why Ephesians 5 has to be read alongside the call for husbands to love like Christ What submission looks like on an ordinary Tuesday How respect, encouragement, and trust play out practically Why submission is ultimately an act of worship to Christ If you've wrestled with this passage, or avoided it altogether, this conversation will help you think biblically, clearly, and courageously about your role in marriage. Scripture referenced: Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Peter 3, Genesis 2 If this one helped, send it to a friend who has ever wrestled with this passage. Subscribe wherever you listen so you never miss an episode, and if you have a minute, leaving a review helps other couples find this Christian marriage podcast. Love you, fam.

The holidays are still months away on the calendar and already somebody is asking whose house you are coming to. If that question makes your stomach tighten, you are not the only couple feeling it. This week we are talking about what it actually looks like to set healthy boundaries with in-laws and extended family without blowing up the relationship. We walk through what Genesis 2:24 means by leave and cleave, why leaving your father and mother never cancels the command to honor them, and two of the healthiest in-law relationships in scripture. Then we get practical with five principles for navigating parents, in-laws, aunts, uncles, and everybody else who has an opinion about your marriage. We also talk honestly about the harder situations: what honoring looks like when there is addiction or abuse in the family, how to explain a limited relationship to your kids without tearing anyone down, and how to hold the holidays gently when grief is sitting at the table. Resources mentioned: Genesis 2:24 and Jesus quoting it in Matthew 19 The command to honor your father and mother, Exodus 20:12 Ruth 1:16 Exodus 18, Jethro's counsel to Moses Our episode from two weeks ago on why your marriage was never meant to be private Free Weekly Marriage Meeting Template: https://onedegreemarriage.com/meeting Here is your one degree shift: before the end of this month, sit down together and decide your Thanksgiving and Christmas plans out loud. Ask each other which tradition you would actually grieve losing and which one you would not mind letting go. Then tell both families what you decided, together. If this is the Christian marriage podcast conversation you have been avoiding, start with that fifteen minute talk. Share this episode with one couple heading into a tense holiday season, subscribe so you do not miss next week, and if it helped, leave us a review so other couples can find it.

Most of us never sat down and decided what our family is actually about. We just started living, and somewhere along the way the answer got decided for us by our upbringing, our friend group, or whatever we scrolled past last night. This week we open up our own family mission statement, the six core values underneath it, and the weekly rhythm that keeps them from becoming a pretty sign we never look at. We walk through why we landed on pursue faithfulness, play the long game, and live with open hands, the one line we changed after seven years, and how we score our values one to five in our weekly marriage meeting so we know what to focus on next. If you have never written a family mission statement, or you wrote one at a retreat and have not touched it since, this one is for you. In this episode: 00:28 The book that pushed us to run our family with the same intention we give our work 02:20 What a family mission statement actually is, and the test that keeps it from being cheesy 04:15 Our three line mission statement, read out loud and explained 05:39 Why we aim for faithful instead of fruitful, famous, or efficient 09:58 Playing the long game in parenting, money, fitness, and schooling decisions 13:37 The one line we changed, and why reserving the right to change your mind is healthy 15:29 Radical generosity when the budget says wait, and what the two copper coins teach us 19:41 The one to five scoring system we use every week (and what a 1 actually looks like) 22:13 The six values we live by, and why one of us fought hard for the last one 24:39 How Friday Night Gang started because we stopped waiting for a bigger house 28:47 A step by step way to write yours this week, even after the kids go to bed 31:59 If you do not choose your family values, something else will choose them for you Resources mentioned: The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family by Patrick Lencioni 1 Corinthians 4:2, Luke 16:10, Galatians 6:9, and the widow's two copper coins in Mark 12:41-44 Free Weekly Marriage Meeting Template: https://onedegreemarriage.com/meeting Weekly Marriage Meeting Journal: https://shop.onedegreemarriage.com/ Your one degree shift this week: sit down together, no date night required, and write a rough first draft of your family mission statement and five to seven core values. Let it sit for a couple of weeks before you lock it in. If you already have one, put it in your weekly marriage meeting and start scoring it. If this one helped, send it to one couple who is in a full, loud season and would love a little more intention in it. Subscribe wherever you listen so you never miss an episode of the podcast, and if you have a minute, leaving a review helps other couples find this Christian marriage podcast. Love you, fam.