How to Motivate Teens Without Bribes

Ask Rachel anything What if the things we do to motivate our teenagers are doing the opposite? Most of us have done it. A tenner for a good exam result. An hour on the Xbox once the homework is done. A new phone if the grades come back right. It works, in the moment. But Dr Özgür Bolat thinks we are paying a much higher price than we realise. Özgür is an educational scientist with a master's from Harvard, a PhD from Cambridge and a visiting research post at MIT Sloan. He has advised Google, YouTube Kids and Unilever on child development. His book, The Reward Trap, draws on seven decades of research to show why gold stars, treats, praise and privileges so often backfire, and what to do instead. His interest is personal. He was the textbook high achiever: 56th out of a million students in Turkey's national exam, a perfect GPA at Harvard, a Cambridge doctorate. Then he came home, with everything going right, and felt anxious. He realised his happiness depended on outside approval. He had to keep succeeding to feel OK. And when he asked himself why, the answer led back to how he was parented. For a full explanation of the points made in the podcast click here Dr Özgür Bolat  -The Reward Trap Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.  You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.  Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack:  My email [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook