Parenting Well Podcast

“I have kids in their 20s. They’re not remembering that one mistake that we did. They remember that I was really silly as a mom, and I was really happy as a mom at home, loving on them and really cheering them on. I can’t tell you how many times I didn’t handle something exactly right.” Cheryl Donaldson Bio: Cheryl Donaldson is a licensed marriage and family therapist with three decades of experience working with kids, teens, and families around the world. She has private practices in Charleston, South Carolina and London, and she is widely recognized for her work helping parents raise emotionally intelligent, resilient children. She is also the co-author, with Craig Donaldson, of the book Lead from the Soul. Before building her clinical practice, Cheryl served as director of Young Life in Austria. Today she sits on the boards of the YMCA and of Camp Sea Gull and Camp Seafarer. She speaks internationally on mental health and develops leadership protocols for organizations worldwide, with keynotes for the Oxford Masters Series, Duke Law School, and St. Stephen's in Rome. Her insights have appeared in HuffPost, Scary Mommy, The Post and Courier, and Brainz Magazine. Cheryl is the mother of three grown sons, spanning Gen Z and the millennial generation, which keeps her closely tuned in to what modern parents are up against. Those who know her say she brings a lightness and sense of fun that makes her extraordinary with kids. Cheryl joins the Parenting Well Podcast to talk about raising kids with healthy self-esteem, what parents get wrong with anxious children, why so many parents have become afraid to parent, and the words and boundaries that build resilience and autonomy. In this podcast, we talk about: What Internal Family Systems (IFS) is, and the idea that each of us has a grounded "self" at our center, with qualities like compassion, calm, clarity, confidence, curiosity, and connection How IFS helps struggling teens meet their impulsive or addictive "firefighter" parts with compassion instead of shame, and understand that a behavior is just a part of them, not the whole of them. Her book, Lead from the Soul, and what it means to lead ourselves, our families, and our relationships from a deeper place beneath our psychological conditioning Bringing the soul into therapy by asking clients how they define their own soul, self, or center, and why finding meaning and purpose matters so much What people struggle with most today: Living authentically instead of constantly reacting to what's happening around them Why good parenting starts with the parent's own wellness, and why there are no tips or tricks that replace it Parenting as training through modeling: How we handle our emotions, resolve conflict, and love our partners, friends, and families Being authentic with kids, coming back after we lose it, and letting them see our real struggles, like Cheryl telling her sons how hard it was to move and have no friends The biggest mistake with anxious kids is arranging life so they never feel anxious, and how to engage with anxiety instead of protecting them from it, using the example of a late school pickup Not taking every little mistake so seriously, because kids remember the joy and the cheering on, not the minutiae. The days are long, but the years are short. Resources: Lead from the Soul by Cheryl Donaldson and Craig Donaldson: Helping Families Flourish HuffPost UK, on how accommodating a child's anxiety can backfire: Scary Mommy, signs your marriage is in its "meh" era and how to shake out of it The Post and Courier, Lowcountry Parent, on parent anxiety around the holidays Brainz Magazine, "Building Stability in an Unstable World," an interview with Cheryl Recent podcast appearance

"We grew up with 'the talk.' But now we know that the best way to talk to kids, adolescents and teens is many, many small conversations that build on each other. We don't have to get it all right at one time. We don't teach our kids to wash their hands once." Most of us grew up with "the talk," one awkward conversation that was supposed to cover everything. I'm Dr. Shelly Mahon, your host, and today I sit down with Gretchen Fair, Prevention Education Director at Blue Sky Bridge. Gretchen shares, that's not how kids learn, and it's not how we keep them safe. "We don't teach our kids to wash their hands once." Body safety works the same way, with many small conversations that build on each other over time, starting early and growing with your child. About Our Guest Gretchen Fair, LCSW, is the Prevention Education Director at Blue Sky Bridge, Boulder County's Child Advocacy Center. She joined Blue Sky Bridge in 2017 and brings more than 15 years of experience working with children, families, professionals, and communities around the prevention of child sexual abuse. Her work focuses on helping adults have informed, age-appropriate conversations with children about body safety, boundaries, consent, healthy relationships, and recognizing and responding to unsafe situations. She regularly trains parents, caregivers, educators, and professionals on how to create environments where children feel empowered to speak up and ask for help. Blue Sky Bridge takes a comprehensive approach to child safety, from prevention education to coordinated intervention and trauma-informed therapy. Gretchen brings an important perspective to parenting: keeping children safe isn't about teaching them to be afraid of the world. It's about giving them developmentally appropriate information, building trusting relationships, and helping the adults around them recognize their responsibility to protect and support children. In this Episode, we talk about: How to talk about bodies and healthy boundaries in a way that isn't complicated How to protect your children without scaring them Why every conversation should start with "What do you know about this already?" Why "8 is great," and what kids need to know about bodies by that age Why a book is a helpful add-on to the conversation, not a replacement for it The myths behind "stranger danger," and why it's an incomplete way to talk about safety Strategies for having these conversations Signs that sexual abuse may be happening How to respond if a child discloses abuse, and the power of the phrase "Tell me more" When to get help from a trained professional, and the services Blue Sky Bridge provides Resources: Blue Sky Bridge: Boulder County's Child Advocacy Center, offering prevention education, parent and caregiver training, forensic interviews, family advocacy, and trauma-informed therapy Colorado Children's Alliance: The statewide network of Child Advocacy Centers serving families in all 64 Colorado counties. A good starting point for finding a center near you Colorado Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline: Call 1-844-CO-4-KIDS (1-844-264-5437), available 24/7. Reports can be made anonymously Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: Call or text 1-800-422-4453 for listeners outside Colorado If a child is in immediate danger, call 911

What Love Requires: A Parent’s Journey Supporting a Transgender Child What does love require when your child’s journey challenges your expectations, fears, and instincts as a parent? In this episode of the Parenting Well Podcast, Dr. Shelly Mahon talks with Cat Lindsey, mother of a transgender daughter, and Cristian Solano-Córdova of Motus Theater about What Love Requires: Stories from Parents of Transgender and Nonbinary Adults. Cat shares her deeply personal journey, from witnessing her daughter’s joy and self-expression, to navigating dysphoria and gender-affirming care, and learning what she needed to let go of as a parent. Cristian explains why Motus Theater uses first-person storytelling to create empathy and connection. At the heart of their conversation is a powerful reminder: “This is not about you. It’s about your child.” In This Podcast We Talk About: Cat’s family journey and her daughter’s joy, creativity, and self-expression What dysphoria looked like during her daughter’s high school years Navigating gender-affirming care and hormone therapy Advocating for your child while also working through your own fears and emotions The expectations parents may have for their child’s future and what it can mean to let those expectations go The experience of seeing a child’s joy and confidence return The importance of allowing young people to express themselves fully Learning when to step back and trust your child The importance of finding support for the entire family The differences between coming out today and coming out a decade ago Why parents' voices and personal stories matter How writing and performing a personal monologue can help others see the world through someone else's eyes The power of authentic storytelling to create connection and empathy Resources: Motus Theater Motus Theater creates original performances designed to facilitate dialogue on critical issues through autobiographical storytelling and community engagement. Visit Motus Theater What Love Requires Learn more about What Love Requires: Stories from Parents of Transgender and Nonbinary Adults, including the stories and performances that make up the project. Learn more about What Love Requires See What Love Requires in Lafayette Motus Theater & the Parent Engagement Network present What Love Requires Saturday, November 14, 20266:30 to 8:30 PMThe Collective Community Arts CenterLafayette, Colorado For more information and event details: Motus Theater Events Cat Lindsey's Monologue, "Joy to the World" Cat's monologue tells the story of a mother celebrating her transgender daughter's innate joy, musical brilliance, and fearless self-expression. She also reflects on how that joy diminished during high school as her daughter experienced dysphoria, and what Cat learned after witnessing her daughter's joy return following gender-affirming care. Cat's story offers an honest look at parenting, advocacy, regret, growth, and the process of learning to see your child's experience through their eyes. Meet Our Guests Cat Lindsey Cat Lindsey is a Colorado native and former professional actor who has spent the last couple of decades working in the nonprofit sector. She now works in the renewable energy industry, a transition she jokes will last “at least until I get replaced by AI.” Cat is the mother of a transgender daughter, and her personal story is featured in Motus Theater's What Love Requires through her monologue, “Joy to the World.” Cristian Solano-Córdova Cristian Solano-Córdova (he/they) is the Director of Communications, Outreach, and Development for Motus Theater, a Colorado-based nonprofit that uses autobiographical storytelling to foster dialogue, build empathy, and inspire social change. Originally from Chihuahua, Mexico, Cristian is a Denver-based DACA recipient who has spent more than a decade working at the intersection of immigrant rights, criminal legal reform, and LGBTQIA+ advocacy. He helped bring What Love Requires from concept

“There is a big gap between being welcome and being wanted. It's not just translating something into Spanish so that you feel welcome. It's asking what kind of programs people actually want, because we have things to learn too.” — Melanie Piazza I’m Dr. Shelly Mahon, your host, and today I bring you Melanie Piazza of the Parent Engagement Network and Marinela Maneiro-Goodwin of Boulder County's Institute for Strengthening Families. Episode Description In this episode, incoming Executive Director Melanie Piazza and mental health consultant Marinela Maneiro-Goodwin talk about what PEN has learned over those 25 years, and about the collaboration between PEN, Boulder County's Institute for Strengthening Families, and the Early Childhood Council of Boulder County that is trying to answer an old question in a new way. It takes a village to raise a child, but what does that village actually look like for families today, and why has it been so hard to build one that includes everyone? Marinela brings a candid perspective on the gap between organizations that want to serve Latino families and organizations that Latino families actually trust. She and Melanie talk through what cultural responsiveness looks like beyond translating a flyer into Spanish, the barriers that keep parents from showing up even when help is available, and why being wanted is a different thing than being welcomed. Melanie reflects on 25 years of PEN's work and what she is carrying forward as she steps into leadership, including the belief that connection, not resilience alone, is what actually helps parents feel supported. Together, they make the case that no single organization can be the whole village. Real support for families comes from organizations that are willing to sit down as equals, learn from each other, and build something that could not exist if any one of them tried to do it alone. About Our Guests Melanie Piazza is the Executive Director of the Parent Engagement Network, or PEN, a Boulder County organization that helps parents and caregivers find practical tools, resources, and community support. Melanie previously served on PEN's board and brings a unique perspective to the organization through her experience as an entrepreneur and founder of Family Village, a community center created to support families. She is passionate about building the connections and community that help parents feel less alone. Marinela Maneiro-Goodwin is a mental health consultant, educator, and facilitator who has spent much of her career working with Latino families and communities. With a background in clinical psychology and organizational development, Marinela focuses on strengthening families through culturally responsive education, communication, stress management, and substance-use prevention. She brings an important perspective to the collaboration between PEN and Boulder County's Institute for Strengthening Families. In This Episode, We Cover What Melanie is seeing as the biggest challenges facing parents today, what parents tell her they need most as she steps into leadership at PEN, and what 25 years of PEN's work has taught us about what actually helps parents feel supported, connected, and confident What a village looks like for families today, and why collaboration between organizations with different areas of expertise means coming to the table “as equals” The work of the Institute for Strengthening Families, and the honest history behind this collaboration, including Marinela's reflection that PEN has worked hard to bring the community together but hasn't always succeeded in reaching the Latino community, and that “it is nobody's fault” What meaningful cultural responsiveness looks like beyond simply translating information into Spanish, the difference between being welcomed and being wanted, and the barriers that keep parents away even when resources exist because they don't feel they belong in certain spaces Building real trust with famili

“One thing that kids think is, I don't want to burden my parents with this, this is too much for them. And when we're willing to say, ‘Are you struggling with suicide, do you have a plan, do you want to die by suicide,’ that opens the door for them to say, Wow, maybe I'm not going to burden them. Maybe this isn't that bad. They brought it up to me, so it must be okay.” I'm Dr. Shelly Mahon, your host, and in today's episode we talk about how most parents can feel when something is off with their kid, but freeze right at the moment it matters most. Do you ask the hard question, or do you wait and hope it passes? Jenna Candreia has spent years helping families move past that fear. As executive director of The Liv Project, Jenna works to bring youth mental health and suicide prevention “out of the shadows” and give parents real, practical language for the conversations they're most afraid to start. About Our Guest Jenna Candreia is the Executive Director of The Liv Project, a Philadelphia-based nonprofit focused on turning the conversation about youth mental health and suicide prevention “out of the shadows.” Jenna leads the organization's work from Colorado. The Liv Project was created in memory of Liv, a 19-year-old who died by suicide in 2019 after struggling with anxiety, depression and a non-verbal learning disorder. Her family transformed their grief into a mission centered on connection, fearless communication, and giving people practical ways to talk about mental health. The organization's work includes The Game That Goes There, creative workshops, digital discussion guides, the My Sister Liv documentary, and the L.I.V. framework (Listen, Identify, Vocalize) for recognizing and responding to mental health struggles. In This Episode, We Cover Liv's story, and how her family turned their grief into a mission built on connection and fearless conversation What “fearless conversations” actually means in practice, and why asking a teen directly about suicidal thoughts doesn't plant the idea The subtle changes parents should watch for when a teen may be struggling, and how to tell ordinary teenage behavior from something that needs more attention The L.I.V. framework, Listen, Identify, Vocalize, and how a parent can put it to use at home Why kids often stay quiet because they don't want to “burden” a parent, and how being asked directly can actually be a relief Moving out of problem-solving mode and learning what it looks like to really listen when a teen opens up How social media shapes belonging, comparison and self-worth, and the “compare/despair” trap Jenna sees in the kids she works with What to say, and what to avoid saying, when a child finally tells a parent “I'm not okay” How to tell when a situation has moved beyond what a parent can manage alone, and how to bring in outside support Approaching a teen's changed behavior with curiosity and “protective mode” instead of “attack mode” Why it's progress, not perfection, and how kids forgive parents who keep showing up The one skill Jenna believes every parent needs to help protect a child's mental health Other Lines Worth Remembering “As parents we get so scared when behavior changes. Our kids see us as coming in with attack mode, but it's really protective mode. Breathe through that, and ask questions.” “It's not perfection, it's progress. Our kids forgive us.” “One of the things I always tell kids is, with social media, you are comparing your insides to everyone else's outsides. You're seeing a snapshot, a picture, that seems so happy and so wonderful, and you're comparing that to how you feel on the inside. That is not apples to apples.” Resources Mentioned & Related Reading The Liv Project: Resources, programs and tools designed to help families and communities have more open conversations about youth mental health and suicide prevention Fearless Conversation Guides: Two action-oriented guides, one for someone worried about themselves and one for som