How They Feel in Your Presence II Jess Southfield

Text or voice message the show Jess Southfield has spent a lot of years learning that loving ten children well doesn't mean parenting ten children exactly the same way. In this conversation, Jess and Anne talk about the pressure to look like you have family life figured out, the grace that comes from realizing you don't, and the shift from focusing primarily on behavior to thinking more deeply about relationship. Jess shares why she wants her children to know that even when she is frustrated or disappointed, their mistakes don't change how she feels about them as human beings. They also talk about discovering ADHD as adults, the coping systems we can build without realizing it, the importance of small family traditions, and Jess's experience of wishing she could return to the early years of motherhood with everything she knows now. The conversation moves into grief as Jess remembers losing her dad to stomach cancer at 48 and the small traditions that continue to connect him with grandchildren who had very little time with him. Jess and Anne also have an honest conversation about Jess's decision to step away from the church community they once shared—and what has allowed their friendship to remain intact. Rather than trying to convince one another to leave or stay, they talk about respecting each other's agency, recognizing loving intent while still setting boundaries, and remembering that a person's value is not dependent upon making the same choices we do. In this episode: Releasing the pressure to look like the “perfect” family Parenting individual children according to what they need Why relationship matters before correction Helping siblings support one another without requiring agreement Adult ADHD and realizing you've built a life of coping mechanisms Becoming more present with the people you love Family traditions that help children feel individually known Looking back on the early years of motherhood Recognizing strength inside traits we sometimes label as defiance Grief and keeping a parent's memory alive Navigating a faith transition without losing meaningful friendships Respect, agency, boundaries, and giving grace in both directions A question to carry with you Rather than asking whether you handled every interaction perfectly, consider asking: How did this person feel in my presence? That question may tell us more about our influence than perfection ever could. Guest Jess Southfield Instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/afullnestbyjess/ Support Pebbles of Light If Pebbles of Light has brought something meaningful into your week, you can support the podcast here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2593690/support Support the show Don’t forget to subscribe, review, and share this episode with someone who needs encouragement today. Affiliate Disclaimer - As an Amazon Associate and member of other affiliate programs, we may earn advertising or referral fees from qualifying purchases. Thank you for supporting Pebbles of Light! Follow Pebbles of Light Website – ⁠https://annemaxson.com/pebblesoflight⁠ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@pebblesoflightpodcast  Facebook – ⁠https://www.facebook.com/pebblesoflight⁠ Instagram – ⁠https://instagram.com/PebblesOfLight⁠ Guest Applications - https://www.joinpodmatch.com/pebblesoflight  Support Pebbles of Light Become a Light Shiner - https://annemaxson.com/pebblesoflightpodcast/#support ⁠ ⁠