Why Accepting Reality Helps You Make the Change You Want

Text your thoughts and questions! Have you ever found yourself replaying a conversation, wishing a situation had gone differently, or getting caught up in all the things you think should have happened? Even when you know you can't change the past, letting go of those thoughts can feel surprisingly difficult. In this episode, Lisa Zawrotny explores why accepting reality, even the parts you'd never choose, is an important step toward creating meaningful change. She explains how resistance shows up through overthinking, "should" statements, physical tension, and avoidance, and why constantly fighting what has already happened can drain your energy, focus, and emotional bandwidth. Lisa explores the difference between acceptance and resignation, emphasizing that accepting reality doesn't mean giving up, settling, or pretending everything is okay. Drawing on Buddhist teachings, Stoic philosophy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), she explains how acknowledging what's happening allows you to focus on what you can control and take action toward what matters to you. You'll also learn five practical steps to help you resist less: notice what's happening, name the feelings underneath, breathe through the discomfort, sort out what's within your control, and redirect your energy toward one small action. These simple practices can help you stop getting stuck in the replay and create a more honest starting point for sustainable progress. The key is to stop spending your energy fighting what you cannot change and start using it to influence what comes next. You don't have to like what happened, feel grateful for it, or put a positive spin on something painful. You simply have to acknowledge where you are so you can decide where you want to go. Key Takeaways: Understand why replaying past situations and wishing things had gone differently can drain your energy, focus, and emotional bandwidth. Recognize the different ways resistance shows up, including "should" statements, physical tension, avoidance, and repetitive thoughts. Discover the difference between acceptance and resignation and why accepting reality doesn't mean giving up on the changes you want. Explore how Buddhist teachings, Stoic philosophy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offer different perspectives on accepting what you cannot control. Learn about the first and second arrows and how our reactions to difficult experiences can create additional suffering. Understand why trying to suppress unwanted thoughts can actually make them more persistent. Discover how psychological flexibility helps you make room for difficult feelings while continuing to take action toward what you value. Learn why effective planning requires an honest understanding of your current circumstances, energy, and capacity. Explore five practical steps to resist less: notice it, name it, breathe through it, sort through it, and redirect. Experiment with Pete Holmes's "Yes, thank you" practice as a way to acknowledge what life brings, even when it's not what you wanted. Discover how redirecting your energy away from what you cannot change can help you create meaningful and sustainable progress. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! Learn more about Positively LivingⓇ and Lisa at https://positivelyproductive.com/podcast/ Stop trying to fit into someone else’s productivity rules! Grab my free Productivity Toolkit, a collection of workbooks designed to help you explore how you work, uncover what truly matters to you, and create your very own energy-friendly systems. Get it here: www.positivelyproductive.com/plpkit CONNECT WITH LISA ZAWROTNY: Facebook Instagram Resources Work with Lisa!  LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 189: Why Compassion is Essential to Be More Productive Episode 250: Shame-free Productivity: The Most Effective Way To Get Things Done Episode 303: How Action Gives Us Clarity Episode 338: Simple Mindfulness Practices for Your Real Life [Round Up] The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris Positively Productive Resources Library  Book a Clarity Call Async Coaching (Find links to books/gear on the Positively Productive Resources Page.) Dance Song Playlist V1, V2, V3 Music by Ian and Jeff Zawrotny Start your own podcast with Buzzsprout!