Decoding Doms, Baby Queers and Deathbed Polycalypse

Queerly in Love — Episode 16 This week on Queerly in Love, Erin and Nālani tackle three questions involving kinky first dates, queer identity, and the complicated logistics of being part of a polycule. In other words: kinky caution, queer confusion, and polycule complications. 🔥 Meeting Your Dom for the First Time Our first caller is nervous about meeting their Dom in person for the first time—even though he says there won't be anything kinky happening. Erin and Nālani talk about trusting your gut, meeting in public, scouting your escape routes, arranging a safety call, staying out of someone else's car, and asking about experience, references, safewords, and aftercare. Because if you mention safewords and aftercare and your potential Dom looks like a deer in headlights… run. 🏳️‍🌈 When the Baby Queer Meets the Closet Case A gay man has become close friends with a newly out trans woman and has started helping her find her way around the queer community. Now he's wondering whether it's okay to open up to her about his own questions surrounding gender identity. Erin and Nālani discuss how friends can support one another without turning one person into the designated Trans Encyclopedia, why it's important to ask permission before diving into sensitive topics, and why newly transitioned people shouldn't be expected to have all the answers. 💜 Triad Triage: When Family Comes First Our final question involves an MFF closed triad facing a difficult family situation. One partner's seriously ill aunt has never accepted her relationships with women, leaving the triad wondering whether everyone should travel together—or whether the newer partner should stay behind. Erin and Nālani discuss disappointment, FOMO, boundaries, and the very important reminder that sometimes it's not about you. Especially when you're visiting someone else's sick relative. Maybe don't make the deathbed the coming-out party for your polycule. Plus, we get into emergency escape routes, queer mentors, the questionable logic of bathroom windows in movies, and the important distinction between being disappointed and actually getting what you want. Remember: when being queer is silenced, restricted, and banned, loving your queerness—and loving someone else's queerness—is an act of resistance. ❤️🏳️‍🌈 📞 Have a question for Erin & Nālani? Leave us a voicemail at 304-315-6369. We want to hear your sexy voices! Texts are also accepted, although apparently they are considerably less sexy.