Alexis: You Are Not Your Diagnosis — Redefining Mental Health

Who gets to define who you are? Your diagnosis, your past, or someone else's expectations? In this hilariously honest and deeply meaningful episode, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Alexis, a special education teacher, mental health advocate, and founder of Permission to Define, to talk about living with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), challenging mental health stereotypes, finding the right therapist, setting boundaries, and taking back the power to define yourself. Awards & Downloads Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries. Feedback We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here: https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a Mental Health Quote "The hardest lesson I've ever learned is disclosure is not access." — Alexis Kur Content Notice & Mental Health Crisis Resources This episode includes conversations about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), trauma, mental health stigma, difficult therapeutic experiences, discrimination related to a mental health diagnosis, and a brief mention of a past suicide attempt. Please listen with care and take breaks if needed. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis in the United States, call or text 988 or visit: https://988lifeline.org/ For crisis resources outside the United States: https://findahelpline.com/ Episode Description What if everything you've been told about your mental health, your identity, and what success should look like isn't the whole story? In this powerful, funny, and unapologetically honest episode, Alexis joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to talk about living with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), challenging mental health stigma, and refusing to let anyone else define who you are. Diagnosed with DID at 26, Alexis opens up about navigating nearly two decades of therapy, confronting misconceptions about her diagnosis, and building a trusted team of three therapists she affectionately calls her "Justice League." From equine-assisted therapy to exploring EMDR, she shares why finding the right mental health support matters and why healing sometimes requires questioning the language and expectations surrounding it. Alexis also shares the remarkable career change that took her from a successful, six-figure environmental consulting career to teaching high school special education. For her, success is no longer measured by money or professional recognition. It's watching a struggling student find the confidence to walk into class or discover a strength nobody else noticed. Things get especially real when Alexis discusses having her diagnosis used against her by someone she trusted professionally. That painful experience reinforced one of her most important lessons: Disclosure is not access. Sharing your story doesn't give someone permission to weaponize it. Through laughter, vulnerability, and plenty of colorful language, Alexis reminds us that lived experience matters, boundaries are essential, and only you get to decide what your diagnosis or your life means. Because sometimes the most powerful thing you can do for your mental health is stop trying to fit someone else's definition of normal. Keywords: Alexis Kur, Permission to Define, Dissociative Identity Disorder, DID awareness, living with DID, mental health stigma, mental health advocacy, trauma therapy, EMDR therapy, equine-assisted therapy, therapy relationships, mental health boundaries, self-advocacy, redefining success, lived experience Meet Our Guest — Alexis Alexis is a high school special education teacher, mental health advocate, speaker, writer, and founder of Permission to Define, a platform dedicated to challenging labels, amplifying lived experiences, and changing conversations about mental health. After 15 years in environmental consulting, Alexis traded a six-figure salary for something far more meaningful: helping teenagers recognize their strengths, build confidence, and believe in themselves. Now, working with high school students who receive special education services for emotional impairments, she brings compassion, authenticity, and her lived experience into the classroom. Diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) at 26, Alexis has spent nearly two decades navigating therapy, confronting mental health stereotypes, and discovering what it means to live authentically. Through Permission to Define, she champions the value of lived experience, challenges limiting language, and encourages others to take ownership of how they define themselves. With sharp humor, unapologetic honesty, and a refreshing willingness to question the status quo, Alexis reminds us that a diagnosis is information, not an identity, and that everyone deserves the freedom to tell their own story. Connect with Alexis: Website: https://permissiontodefine.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PermissiontoDefine LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexisekur5030/ Key Takeaways Your diagnosis doesn't define your identity. Alexis challenges misconceptions about Dissociative Identity Disorder and reminds us that a diagnosis may help explain someone's experiences, but it never tells their entire story. Disclosure is not access. Sharing personal mental health information doesn't give anyone permission to weaponize that information, cross your boundaries, or demand access to parts of your life you've chosen to keep private. Finding the right therapist can change your mental health journey. Alexis's trusted "Justice League" of three therapists demonstrates how collaboration, respect, and a strong therapeutic relationship can make difficult emotional work feel more manageable. Success is about purpose, not just a paycheck. Leaving a lucrative environmental consulting career helped Alexis realize that watching a student overcome a challenge can be more rewarding than professional status or financial success. Lived experience deserves a voice in mental health conversations. Alexis uses her experiences with DID and therapy to help educators, mental health professionals, and others better understand the perspectives of people living with mental health conditions. You have permission to challenge the language of healing. Whether she's questioning the word "resilient" or pushing back against scripted therapy phrases, Alexis reminds us that we can choose words and definitions that genuinely reflect our experiences. Actionable Items Redefine a label you've been carrying. Choose one word others have used to describe you, such as anxious, difficult, or resilient, and consider whether it reflects who you are or whether it's time to create your own definition. Practice setting boundaries around personal disclosure. Before sharing something about your mental health, decide what you're comfortable revealing and remind yourself that being honest doesn't mean giving someone unlimited access to your personal experiences. Evaluate whether your support system respects your needs. Think about whether the people supporting your mental health listen without judgment, respect your boundaries, and encourage you to participate in decisions about your well-being. Important Chapters 00:00:37 — Meet Alexis: Mental Health Advocate and Educator 00:01:22 — Overcommitting, Perfectionism, and Mental Health 00:04:29 — Living With DID and the Art of Multitasking 00:07:54 — Finding Balance and Learning to Protect Your Time 00:11:30 — Leaving a Six-Figure Career to Redefine Success 00:14:13 — Building Trust With Special Education Students 00:19:45 — How Lived Experience Shapes Alexis's Teaching 00:23:05 — Receiving a Dissociative Identity Disorder Diagnosis 00:24:27 — The Therapy Justice League: EMDR and Equine-Assisted Therapy 00:27:24 — Why Alexis Challenges Traditional Therapy Language 00:30:01 — Finding the Right Therapist and Building Trust 00:33:19 — Overcoming Fear Through Equine-Assisted Therapy 00:37:05 — Why Therapy Is Hard Work 00:37:51 — Creating Permission to Define 00:39:32 — Living Authentically Beyond Mental Health Labels 00:42:48 — Advice to Her Younger Self: Finding Your People 00:43:34 — Disclosure Is Not Access: Learning Difficult Boundaries 00:44:56 — Mental Health Advice That Misses the Mark 00:46:13 — Anxiety Theme Songs, Humor, and the Power of Words 00:49:02 — Connecting With Alexis and Permission to Define 00:49:54 — Closing Thoughts and Mental Health Reminder Closing CTA Subscribe, Rate, and Review! Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website: https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews #MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #Alexis #PermissionToDefine #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #DIDAwareness #MentalHealthStigma #MentalHealthAdvocacy #TraumaHealing #TherapyJourney #MentalHealthBoundaries #SelfAdvocacy #LivedExperienceMatters #RedefiningSuccess #AuthenticLiving #SpecialEducation #YouAreNotYourDiagnosis *************************************************************************** If You Need Support, Reach Out If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference. 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