Emily Busby: The Mental Load of Motherhood and Letting Go of Perfection

You can love your kids with everything you have and still need five damn minutes to yourself. Emily Busby joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles for an honest conversation about motherhood, mental health, and learning that having limits doesn’t make you a bad parent. Awards & Downloads Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 8 million downloads and listened to in over 200 countries. Feedback We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here: https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a Mental Health Quote “I don't have to be endlessly available. I don't have to be endlessly patient. I really just need to be present and loving and honest.” — Emily Busby Content Notice This episode includes personal experiences with postpartum depression, anxiety, distressing intrusive thoughts about accidental harm to a baby, and childhood bullying. Episode Description The diapers need restocking. Dinner needs figuring out. A work call is starting, a child needs something, and somehow you’re supposed to remember every appointment while staying calm and grateful. Sound familiar? Emily Busby knows how to run that mental checklist. A mom of two, corporate professional, small business owner, and author of Mommy’s Not an Octopus, she joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to talk about what happens when pushing through stops working. Her book began with a chaotic evening and her husband’s reminder that Mom doesn’t have eight arms. But writing it brought Emily face-to-face with something deeper: the impossible expectation that a good mother should be constantly available, endlessly patient, and capable of handling everything. Emily opens up about postpartum depression, anxiety, and frightening intrusive thoughts she was afraid to share. Dirty Skittles brings her own experiences into the conversation, including the pressure to instinctively know what her baby needed and the unexpected emotion of finally taking a shower for herself. Together, they explore therapy, making room for exercise, apologizing after losing your patience, and helping children understand emotions without pretending adults have it all figured out. Emily also shares two ideas that helped her rethink overwhelm: recognizing which responsibilities are glass balls and which can bounce, and allowing two feelings to exist at once. You can be grateful and exhausted. Ambitious and overwhelmed. A loving parent and someone who needs support. This conversation reminds you that your worth isn’t measured by your productivity, your house doesn’t need to resemble a social media highlight reel, and your two hands are enough. Keywords: mental load of motherhood, maternal mental health, postpartum depression, motherhood anxiety, intrusive thoughts, mom guilt, parenting boundaries, perfectionism, working moms, self-compassion, asking for help, emotional awareness, Emily Busby, Mommy’s Not an Octopus Meet Our Guest — Emily Busby Emily Busby is a mom of two adventurous girls, a wife, a corporate professional, and the owner of EJL Designs, her creative small business. Her children’s book, Mommy’s Not an Octopus, grew out of a family moment and became a playful way to talk about limits, empathy, and the reminder that doing your best is enough. Book: Mommy’s Not an Octopus Website: https://www.mommysnotanoctopus.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mommysnotanoctopus/ Key Takeaways The invisible mental load includes the constant planning and remembering that continue even while you’re doing something else. Emily’s experience taught her that discipline and pushing harder couldn’t meet every need motherhood brought. Loving your children and feeling anxious, exhausted, or overwhelmed can coexist. Being honest about your emotions and apologizing after a difficult moment can help children see that adults have limits, too. A shared phrase like “Mommy’s not an octopus” can help families communicate overwhelm before frustration takes over. You don’t have to measure your worth by how productive, needed, or available you are. Actionable Items Name one invisible task. Tell someone what you’re carrying mentally and ask for specific help, such as taking responsibility for scheduling an appointment or planning dinner. Identify what can bounce. Use Emily’s glass-and-plastic-ball analogy to choose one lower-priority responsibility you can postpone today. Practice an honest pause. Try saying, “I’m feeling overwhelmed. I need five minutes, and then I can listen,” using language that fits your child’s age and your situation. Important Chapters 00:01:18 — How Mommy’s Not an Octopus Began 00:07:02 — Athletics, Career Changes, and a Mentor Who Made a Difference 00:08:37 — Motherly Instinct and the Pressure to Know Everything 00:12:18 — The Invisible Mental Load of Motherhood 00:17:19 — Early Motherhood and Frightening Intrusive Thoughts 00:20:08 — Postpartum Depression and the Fear of Speaking Up 00:24:04 — Naming Emotions and Making Space for Yourself 00:25:12 — Exercise, Apologies, and Letting Kids See Your Humanity 00:30:03 — Inside Out 2 and Talking With Kids About Anxiety 00:31:36 — A Children’s Book Becomes Permission to Have Limits 00:36:22 — Social Media Pressure and Supporting Other Moms 00:39:31 — Glass Balls, Plastic Balls, and Room for Two Feelings 00:41:51 — Your Worth Is More Than Your Productivity 00:43:11 — Unlearning Perfection in Motherhood 00:44:26 — Releasing Control and Emily’s Anxiety Theme Song 00:45:56 — The Power of And and the Pressure of Should 00:47:01 — Where to Find Emily and Her Book Closing CTA Subscribe, Rate, and Review! Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website: https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews #MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #MaternalMentalHealth #MentalLoad #Motherhood #PostpartumDepression #PostpartumMentalHealth #MomGuilt #ParentingBoundaries #WorkingMoms #SelfCompassion #LetGoOfPerfection #EmotionalWellbeing #MommysNotAnOctopus #EmilyBusby *************************************************************************** If You Need Support, Reach Out If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference. 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