Swimming in the Depths of Jealousy with Dr. Joli Hamilton

Jealousy is an emotion many of us would rather not feel. We hide it, judge it, suppress it or expect our partners to make it disappear. But what if jealousy has something to tell us? In this episode of Shadow Playground, Ez Bridgman sits down with relationship researcher and depth psychologist Dr. Joli Hamilton to explore jealousy, compersion and the shadowy emotional territory that relationships can bring to the surface. Joli explains why jealousy isn't simply a “negative” emotion to overcome. It can point toward attachment wounds, unmet needs, perceived threats, desires and parts of ourselves that we haven't yet fully understood. Together, Ez and Joli explore jealousy through the lens of Jungian psychology and individuation, the lifelong process of becoming more aware of the complexity within ourselves. They discuss why taking responsibility for our unconscious patterns matters and how relationships can become powerful spaces for self-discovery. They also unpack the difference between jealousy and envy. Jealousy involves a triangle: ourselves, someone we value and a real or imagined interrupter. Envy involves comparison, wanting something another person has or represents. When the two collide, relationships can become emotionally overwhelming. Magic-episode-01 The conversation explores jealousy in both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships, including what these different relationship structures might teach us about communication, agreements, boundaries and emotional responsibility. Joli also offers a practical roadmap for working with jealousy: noticing how it appears in the body, naming it without shame, becoming curious about the story underneath it, and only then deciding what needs to be communicated or negotiated with a partner. IN THIS EPISODE: Why jealousy can become obsessive and overwhelming What erotic jealousy is and why jealousy can sometimes increase desire Why suppressing jealousy doesn't necessarily make it disappear The difference between jealousy and envy How attachment, threat and comparison can shape jealousy What Jungian shadow work can teach us about relationships Why unconscious patterns still require responsibility What individuation means within a relationship Jealousy in monogamous and non-monogamous relationships A practical roadmap for working with jealousy Why immediately asking a partner to change can miss what's underneath What compersion means and why it shouldn't be forced The shadow side of performative compersion How boundaries and differentiation can support deeper relationships Rather than trying to eliminate jealousy, Joli invites us to become curious about it. What is this feeling protecting? What story are we telling ourselves? What does it reveal about our needs, fears, desires and relationships? Jealousy may be uncomfortable, but learning to meet it consciously can turn it into an opportunity for deeper self-understanding. ABOUT DR. JOLI HAMILTON Dr. Joli Hamilton is a relationship researcher and depth psychologist whose work explores jealousy, individuation, non-monogamy and relationships. She hosts the Playing With Fire podcast and works with individuals and groups through programs including Year of Opening and Individuation Alchemy. V10 LIFE DESIGN Interested in designing an enlivening life, with space for both joy and shadow? Visit V10 Life Design to learn more.