Are We Parenting Our Kids… or Trying to Be Liked by Them?

Are parents today too afraid of being disliked by their kids? In this episode, we talk about the uncomfortable side of modern parenting: the pressure to keep our kids happy, the guilt that makes us say yes when we really want to say no, and why being a good parent sometimes means being okay with your child being mad at you. We get into the difference between wanting a close relationship with your children and trying to be their friend, why consistency actually makes kids feel safer, and what happens when “no” slowly turns into “fine.” Andrea opens up about how divorce guilt affected the way she parented, while Coley shares why one of her biggest fears isn’t her daughters disliking her today—it’s wondering whether togetherness will still matter to them when they’re grown. We also talk about social media, taking away TikTok and YouTube, parent guilt, emotional validation, apologizing when we get it wrong, and the reality that we’re parenting ages and situations we’ve never experienced before. At the end of the day, maybe the goal isn’t to raise children who are always happy with us. Maybe it’s to raise capable adults who know they were loved enough for us to say no. Timestamps  00:00 Are parents too afraid of being disliked by their kids? 02:30 The fear that your kids won’t want a relationship with you when they’re older 05:30 “You can dislike me”—why parenting isn’t about being their friend 08:15 Divorce guilt and saying yes to make up for what kids have lost 11:00 Can parents accidentally try to buy connection with their kids? 14:00 Giving kids emotional safety without validating absolutely everything 17:00 Breaking generational parenting patterns 19:45 Taking away TikTok, YouTube and holding boundaries they hate 22:30 Parents make mistakes too: apologizing and asking your kids for grace 25:00 Happy children vs. capable adults 28:00 Why consistency matters—and what happens when “no” becomes “fine” 31:30 The strict parent, the fun parent, and what kids really need Thank you for being here! And remember, you are NOT alone and you are Not done. xxx Andrea & Kouelee Here is where you can find us online: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shesnotdonepod/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shesnotdonepod Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Shesnotdonepod Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Shesnotdonepod?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio