Co-Sleeping With Kids: Are We Creating Bad Habits or Building Security?

Co-sleeping might be one of those parenting topics everyone seems to have an opinion about—but what happens when you stop listening to everyone else and start asking what actually works for your family? In this episode of She’s Not Done, we’re talking honestly about our very different experiences with co-sleeping, bed-sharing, sleep training, breastfeeding, and eventually transitioning our kids into their own beds. We look back at the expectations we had before becoming moms—from decorating the perfect nursery to assuming our babies would simply sleep in their cribs—and how quickly those plans changed once our children actually arrived. We also get into the deeper side of co-sleeping that doesn't get talked about nearly enough: how our own childhood experiences influence the comfort we want to give our kids, whether comforting children makes them less independent, and why sometimes the parent may need the closeness just as much as the child does. Kouelee shares how co-sleeping became more complicated during a difficult period in her marriage—and the realization that having her daughter in the bed wasn't only providing comfort to her child. It was also creating a barrier between her and her husband during a time when their marriage was struggling. Andrea shares how co-sleeping changed during separation and divorce, when her daughters needed additional reassurance and security while adjusting to two homes. We also talk about trying the cry-it-out method because of outside pressure, the guilt that can come with parenting two children differently, transitioning kids out of the family bed, and realizing that sometimes children are far more ready for the next stage than their parents are. Ultimately, this isn't an episode about telling parents whether they should or shouldn't co-sleep. It's about letting go of the idea that there is one right way to parent—and recognizing the difference between educating parents about their choices and shaming them for making them. Because whether they're sleeping in your bed, their bed, or crawling into yours after a nightmare, maybe what matters most is that our kids know they are safe, loved, welcome and protected. 00:00 – The Co-Sleeping Debate Why co-sleeping became part of both of our motherhood stories. 03:15 – The Nursery vs. Reality Preparing the perfect nursery—and then realizing your newborn doesn't necessarily want to sleep there. 06:30 – Choosing Sleep Over Everyone Else's Opinions When what works for your baby becomes more important than what other people think. 09:15 – “Co-Sleeping Will Ruin Your Marriage” Sex, intimacy and the warnings parents hear about letting children into their beds. 12:00 – Two Kids, Two Completely Different Sleep Experiences Why one child loved co-sleeping while another was perfectly content sleeping independently. 15:15 – Do We Need the Closeness More Than Our Kids? Mom guilt, comfort and realizing that sometimes letting go is harder for us. 18:00 – When Co-Sleeping Became a Barrier in Marriage A brutally honest conversation about using the family bed as comfort during a difficult season in a relationship. 21:00 – Cry It Out & Parenting Pressure Trying sleep training because other people said we should—and realizing it wasn't right for us. 24:00 – Trusting That They'll Eventually Be Ready Why independence doesn't always have to be forced. 27:00 – How Our Childhood Shapes Our Parenting The comfort we didn't receive as children and how those experiences show up in the parents we've become. 30:00 – Breastfeeding, Pacifiers & Mom Guilt Why every transition can feel enormous to Mom—even when our kids handle it better than expected. 33:30 – Bedtime Routines & Laying With Our Kids Do we really need to teach them to fall asleep without us—or are we rushing something that's incredibly short-lived? 36:30 – Stop Shaming Parents. Start Educating Them. Why fear and judgment aren't the same thing as giving parents information. 39:00 – Whatever Works for Your Family Our final thoughts on co-sleeping, independence, security and letting families make their own choices. Thank you for being here! And remember, you are NOT alone and you are Not done. xxx Andrea & Kouelee Here is where you can find us online: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shesnotdonepod/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shesnotdonepod Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Shesnotdonepod Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Shesnotdonepod?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio