Marriage & Money: Could You Afford to Leave?

What happens when love and money become impossible to separate? In this episode of She’s Not Done, Kouelee and Andrea revisit financial independence—this time through the lens of marriage, motherhood, divorce, and the decisions we often don’t think about until life forces us to. Andrea shares what she wishes she had done differently financially while staying home to raise her daughters, including setting aside money of her own and understanding the long-term cost of stepping away from a career. She also opens up about a harder truth: finances played a role in keeping her in an unhappy marriage longer than she otherwise might have stayed. But how do you tell your spouse, “I want money set aside in case something happens to us,” without making it sound like you’re preparing for divorce? The conversation turns to why financial education should happen before marriage, what couples should disclose about debt and income, financial security for stay-at-home parents, retirement planning, joint versus individual money, home ownership, prenups, and why every partner should understand what is happening financially in their household. They also discuss an important distinction: financial independence isn't about expecting your marriage to fail. It can give you the freedom to know you're staying because you genuinely want to—not because you couldn't financially survive if you left. Because nobody gets married expecting a divorce. But “that will never happen to us” isn't a financial plan. 00:00 Marriage & Remarriage 04:10 What Andrea Would Change 07:00 Should You Have Your Own Money? 09:30 The Stay-at-Home Mom Career Gap 12:15 Child Support & Financial Independence 14:15 Financial Education Before Marriage 17:15 What If Your Partner Has $100K in Debt? 20:00 Know Your Household Finances 23:00 Staying Because You Can’t Afford to Leave 26:15 Can You Ever Close the Career Gap? 28:45 Money, Divorce & Resentment 31:00 What We Want Our Daughters to Know 34:00 When You Always Put Yourself Last 36:15 Financial Freedom in Marriage 38:15 Prenups & Retirement 40:15 Start With $10 41:30 Final Thoughts Thank you for being here! And remember, you are NOT alone and you are Not done. xxx Andrea & Kouelee Here is where you can find us online: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shesnotdonepod/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shesnotdonepod Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Shesnotdonepod Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Shesnotdonepod?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio